SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE)

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The book was shit. The movie version looks to be even worse. Here's the first trailer, fresh from Comic-Con:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE71JOvLPvE

grawlix (unperson), Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:17 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Rubbish and then some. Fuck Cline.

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:19 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Someone pointed out on another thread that Spielberg has spun bad source material into gold before, but this trailer looks really awful.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:24 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Iron giants and f-zero racing look better than 99% of the ultra mainstream movie stuff out there for my money, shame about the Rush song tho

sleepingbag, Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:28 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I read the synopsis of the book on Wikipedia and thought that it was probably a terrible book that would likely be a terrible movie.

Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:29 (eleven months ago) Permalink

iron giants and f-zero racing look exactly the same as 99% of the ultra mainstream movie stuff out there

In Search of the Turricle's Navel (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:30 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Yeah, in what universe is this not "ultra mainstream," and can I move there instead?

grawlix (unperson), Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:31 (eleven months ago) Permalink

somebody signed off on using "cinematic game changer" and "holy grail of pop culture" in the trailer titles. huh.

El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 July 2017 21:01 (eleven months ago) Permalink

the racing shit just looks like a reznor grimdark take on the Wachowski's Speed Racer but with even more adolescent angst than that already implies

El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 July 2017 21:03 (eleven months ago) Permalink

wow, the entire constellation around this novel is just pathetic con pander bullshit. Hey guys, did you know Wil Wheaton narrated the audiobook?

Cline used the personalities of Howard Hughes and Richard Garriott, and placed Halliday's birth year around the same as his own so that his pop culture interests would coincide with Cline's "and the other middle-aged uber geeks I know"

oh my god this fucking clown

El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 July 2017 21:09 (eleven months ago) Permalink

There's a reason I said what I did!

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 22 July 2017 21:11 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Fanboy the Movie. This is going to be another one of those movies saturated with pop culture references, but only the pop culture references they can license. Like the second Lego movie, where the much-touted evilest villains of all time just all happen to be Warner Brothers properties.

Rush, though, I want to say makes a few appearances in the book. I haven't read the book, and none of you make me want to read the book.

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 22 July 2017 21:15 (eleven months ago) Permalink

tbf Lego Batman is a pretty fun film that knows what it is

El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 July 2017 21:16 (eleven months ago) Permalink

ugh i read this book based on rave reviews elsewhere and hated it so much. it's world of warcraft: the novelization.

new noise, Saturday, 22 July 2017 21:46 (eleven months ago) Permalink

m'lady: th'movie

he tasted like mouth (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 22 July 2017 21:49 (eleven months ago) Permalink

quite apart from all the 80s-kid jerkin every time i read about this book it seems to be like, what if the matrix was good, and instead of destroying its creators and freeing yrself you just competed for money in an obstacle course installed by its designer? okay

difficult listening hour, Saturday, 22 July 2017 23:09 (eleven months ago) Permalink

i can do that anyway, is the thing

difficult listening hour, Saturday, 22 July 2017 23:11 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Willy Wonka and the Content Farm

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 22 July 2017 23:15 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Oh cool, the ultimate apex of our pathetic arrested development manchild nostalgia barf culture.

Like if you're a grown adult who is thrilled by the idea of Freddy Krueger getting blown away by a Halo gun...

circa1916, Sunday, 23 July 2017 00:14 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I don't get why this gets shit on but guardians etc get fellated but whatevs yr call homies

sleepingbag, Sunday, 23 July 2017 00:24 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Yeah idk I didn't like that either. Also do you have a minute to talk about Stranger Things?

circa1916, Sunday, 23 July 2017 00:28 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I don't get why this gets shit on but guardians etc get fellated but whatevs yr call homies

― sleepingbag, Sunday, July 23, 2017 12:24 AM (twenty-four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Whatever one thinks of Guardians of the Galaxy it isn't really comparable to this.

I would say read the book to get a taste of just how bad it is but that would be inhumane. Trust me, it's worse than any other nerd baity thing out there

The Marmadook (latebloomer), Sunday, 23 July 2017 00:54 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I am not sure where to start explaining the salient differences between Guardians of the Galaxy and this desaturated pablum

El Tomboto, Sunday, 23 July 2017 00:55 (eleven months ago) Permalink

one has the name of the best American filmmaker of the last 40 years on it?

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 23 July 2017 02:19 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Haha yes good job

El Tomboto, Sunday, 23 July 2017 02:24 (eleven months ago) Permalink

tbh i do have to withhold judgment on this movie seeing as this is a guy whose most profoundly felt masterpiece is a michael crichton adaptation

but this particular book rly does feel like the concrete wall at the end of the world

difficult listening hour, Sunday, 23 July 2017 02:34 (eleven months ago) Permalink

So I guess most of you will go see this anyway?

Robert Adam Gilmour, Sunday, 23 July 2017 02:42 (eleven months ago) Permalink

What would make you think that

El Tomboto, Sunday, 23 July 2017 02:51 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I hope it flops like Ishtar

El Tomboto, Sunday, 23 July 2017 02:55 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I hope it gets beaten at the box office by the Lego Ninjago movie

El Tomboto, Sunday, 23 July 2017 03:28 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I hope it crashes and burns like Pan Am Flight 103

Neanderthal, Sunday, 23 July 2017 03:39 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I hope it dies peacefully in bed, surrounded by loved ones and family. At the funeral they play a Rush song. After hovering in a bardo state for a few seconds the soul enters a young baby.

The Marmadook (latebloomer), Sunday, 23 July 2017 05:04 (eleven months ago) Permalink

JK I hope it tanks

The Marmadook (latebloomer), Sunday, 23 July 2017 05:05 (eleven months ago) Permalink

a guy whose most profoundly felt masterpiece is a michael crichton adaptation

yeah right

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 23 July 2017 05:07 (eleven months ago) Permalink

if you were 12 perrrrhaps

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 23 July 2017 05:07 (eleven months ago) Permalink

:)

difficult listening hour, Sunday, 23 July 2017 05:18 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I think all of us were 12 at some point

Neanderthal, Sunday, 23 July 2017 05:29 (eleven months ago) Permalink

comes after 11 iirc

Neanderthal, Sunday, 23 July 2017 05:29 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Representative excerpt from the book

When it came to my research, I never took any shortcuts. Over the past five years, I'd worked my way down the entire recommended gunter reading list. Douglas Adams. Kurt Vonnegut. Neal Stephenson. Richard K. Morgan. Stephen King. Orson Scott Card. Terry Pratchett. Terry Brooks. Bester, Bradbury, Haldeman, Heinlein, Tolkien, Vance, Gibson, Gaiman, Sterling, Moorcock, Scalzi, Zelazny. I read every novel by every single one of Halliday's favorite authors.
And I didn't stop there.
I also watched every single film he referenced in the Almanac. If it was one of Halliday's favorites, like WarGames, Ghostbusters, Real Genius, Better Off Dead, or Revenge of the Nerds, I rewatched it until I knew every scene by heart.
I devoured each of what Halliday referred to as "The Holy Trilogies": Star Wars (original and prequel trilogies, in that order), Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, Mad Max, Back to the Future, and Indiana Jones. (Halliday once said that he preferred to pretend the other Indiana Jones films, from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull onward, didn't exist. I tended to agree.)
I also absorbed the complete filmographies of each of his favorite directors. Cameron, Gilliam, Jackson, Fincher, Kubrick, Lucas, Spielberg, Del Toro, Tarantino. And, of course, Kevin Smith.
I spent three months studying every John Hughes teen movie and memorizing all the key lines of dialogue.
Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.
You could say I covered all the bases.
I studied Monty Python. And not just Holy Grail, either. Every single one of their films, albums, and books, and every episode of the original BBC series. (Including those two "lost" episodes they did for German television.)
I wasn't going to cut any corners.
I wasn't going to miss something obvious.
Somewhere along the way, I started to go overboard.
I may, in fact, have started to go a little insane.
I watched every episode of The Greatest American Hero, Airwolf, The A-Team, Knight Rider, Misfits of Science, and The Muppet Show.
What about The Simpsons, you ask?
I knew more about Springfield than I knew about my own city.
Star Trek? Oh, I did my homework. TOS, TNG, DS9. Even Voyager and Enterprise. I watched them all in chronological order. The movies, too. Phasers locked on target.
I gave myself a crash course in '80s Saturday-morning cartoons.
I learned the name of every last goddamn Gobot and Transformer.
Land of the Lost, Thundarr the Barbarian, He-Man, Schoolhouse Rock!, G.I. Joe - I knew them all. Because knowing is half the battle.
Who was my friend, when things got rough? H.R. Pufnstuf.
Japan? Did I cover Japan?
Yes. Yes indeed. Anime and live-action. Godzilla, Gamera, Star Blazers, The Space Giants, and G-Force. Go, Speed Racer, Go.
I wasn't some dilettante.
I wasn't screwing around.
I memorized every last Bill Hicks stand-up routine.
Music? Well, covering all the music wasn't easy.
It took some time.
The '80s was a long decade (ten whole years), and Halliday didn't seem to have had very discerning taste. He listened to everything. So I did too. Pop, rock, new wave, punk, heavy metal. From the Police to Journey to R.E.M. to the Clash. I tackled it all.
I burned through the entire They Might Be Giants discography in under two weeks. Devo took a little longer.
I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing '80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn't part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.
I memorized lyrics. Silly lyrics, by bands with names like Van Halen, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, and Pink Floyd.
I kept at it.
I burned the midnight oil.
Did you know that Midnight Oil was an Australian band, with a 1987 hit titled "Beds Are Burning"?
I was obsessed. I wouldn't quit. My grades suffered. I didn't care.
I read every issue of every comic book title Halliday had ever collected.
I wasn't going to have anyone questioning my commitment.
Especially when it came to the videogames.
Videogames were my area of expertise.
My double-weapon specialization.
My dream Jeopardy! category.
I downloaded every game mentioned or referenced in the Almanac, from Akalabeth to Zaxxon. I played each title until I had mastered it, then moved on to the next one.
You'd be amazed how much research you can get done when you have no life whatsoever. Twelve hours a day, seven days a week, is a lot of study time.

Number None, Monday, 24 July 2017 12:13 (eleven months ago) Permalink

look, tl;dr, but jfc

obv it's a life choice, peace be with you and all that, but maybe y'all could get your own island or something

put your hands on the car and get ready to die (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 July 2017 12:16 (eleven months ago) Permalink

He listened to everything ... Pop, rock, new wave, punk, heavy metal.

put your hands on the car and get ready to die (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 July 2017 12:18 (eleven months ago) Permalink

that excerpt makes him seem like an evil neil cicierega haha

imago, Monday, 24 July 2017 12:18 (eleven months ago) Permalink

And, of course, Kevin Smith.

lazy rascals, spending their substance, and more, in riotous living (Merdeyeux), Monday, 24 July 2017 12:24 (eleven months ago) Permalink

It's pretty impressive how nothing in that entire list is actually obscure or weird

El Tomboto, Monday, 24 July 2017 12:27 (eleven months ago) Permalink

"I memorized every last Bill Hicks stand-up routine."

circa1916, Monday, 24 July 2017 12:28 (eleven months ago) Permalink

That one I didn't see coming, true.

El Tomboto, Monday, 24 July 2017 12:29 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I couldn't get to the end of that passage but I'm sure the punchline was hilarious

blog haus aka the scene raver (wins), Monday, 24 July 2017 12:30 (eleven months ago) Permalink

is it possible this book is a satire of the cultural death of the west?

put your hands on the car and get ready to die (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 July 2017 12:30 (eleven months ago) Permalink

no one interested in the Spielberg film who hasn't heard of the book (eg, me) gives a damn about it.

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Monday, 24 July 2017 12:36 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Is it too late for them to pull a Disney, fire Spielberg and get Verhoeven on the job?

El Tomboto, Monday, 24 July 2017 12:40 (eleven months ago) Permalink

utterly forgettable

akm, Saturday, 12 May 2018 14:56 (one month ago) Permalink

just The Virtual Reality Goonies

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 17 May 2018 03:59 (one month ago) Permalink

wait, did you finally see it? how many people in the theater with you?

i never did go although "virtual reality goonies" is a more appealing sales pitch than most of the "imagine your favorite IP, all jammed in a blender!" ledes

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 17 May 2018 04:05 (one month ago) Permalink

I accept this being called the worst thing he directed that I saw since ... Jurassic Park 2?

nourish nourish your turtleheart (Eric H.), Thursday, 17 May 2018 04:07 (one month ago) Permalink

It was the next-to-last night at the Lincoln Square, I think, there were at least a couple dozen there.

I liked some of the image juggling and the henchman with the sore neck, but ultimately, I don't give a shit in VR movies cuz -- I don't get it, it's not real! Who cares? It's not worse than the DiCaprio-Nolan thing.

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 17 May 2018 04:10 (one month ago) Permalink

or Her. :D

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 17 May 2018 04:10 (one month ago) Permalink

Oh, it's definitely worse than both of those ffs.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 17 May 2018 11:40 (one month ago) Permalink

sez you

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 17 May 2018 12:03 (one month ago) Permalink

Oh now HERE we go.

Please tell us more movies that are worse than Saddo, Morbs. Please.

The lovely and talented Loretta Switt and the irascible Jamie Farr (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 12:12 (one month ago) Permalink

I cannot tell you how much I've been waiting for this day.

The lovely and talented Loretta Switt and the irascible Jamie Farr (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 12:12 (one month ago) Permalink

how is there still not a decent torrent of this movie out there yet, that's what i wanna know

martin short's interiors (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 17 May 2018 12:20 (one month ago) Permalink

meaningless w/out a big screen (and disposable there)

bye bye!

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 17 May 2018 12:28 (one month ago) Permalink

a spirited defence from ilx's premier spielbergologist

martin short's interiors (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 17 May 2018 12:32 (one month ago) Permalink

That better be a back-of-the-box pull quote.

Here Come the Warm Jets: A Beginner's Guide to Watersports (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 12:45 (one month ago) Permalink

I think I would literally die if a Blu-ray review blurb ended with 'bye bye!'

Here Come the Warm Jets: A Beginner's Guide to Watersports (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 12:46 (one month ago) Permalink

morbs, by my tally you posted to this thread 75 times before seeing the film, mostly chiding us for having opinions on it or its source material before seeing what it would be in the hands of spielberg, not saying that means you now owe us a longform review or a thoroughgoing engagement with the substance of the preceding discussion but perhaps keep this in mind for the next "anticipating" thread

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 17 May 2018 13:22 (one month ago) Permalink

Morbs gonna Morbs

Here Come the Warm Jets: A Beginner's Guide to Watersports (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 13:56 (one month ago) Permalink

tons of posts by everyone b4 the film was released

as usual the film itself did not dominate the discussion, but rather Spielberg is the Worst Ever (ilx gonna ilx)

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:10 (one month ago) Permalink

Truth

nourish nourish your turtleheart (Eric H.), Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:11 (one month ago) Permalink

Absolutely no one itt thread said Spielberg is the worst ever. As you well know.

But he totally is.

Here Come the Warm Jets: A Beginner's Guide to Watersports (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:12 (one month ago) Permalink

morbz if I promise to have low self esteem will you admit this movie eats ass?

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:13 (one month ago) Permalink

Well, Spielberg is the second worst, after (barf) black and white.

Here Come the Warm Jets: A Beginner's Guide to Watersports (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:13 (one month ago) Permalink

love you morbs but have noooo idea how you got "spielberg is the worst ever" from this thread, p. sure "cline is the worst ever" followed by "fanboys are the worst ever" were the through-lines but maybe i missed some posts in there

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:21 (one month ago) Permalink

Spielberg isn't interesting enough to be the worst ever.

Ward Fowler, Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:22 (one month ago) Permalink

as usual the film itself did not dominate the discussion, but rather Spielberg is the Worst Ever (ilx gonna ilx)

lol waht

iirc the tenor of the thread was more along the lines of 'why is spielberg lowering himself to adapting a truly execrable book'

martin short's interiors (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:23 (one month ago) Permalink

i love you too Doc, and that's the important thing, as this film taught us.

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:23 (one month ago) Permalink

did it though? did.. it?

Nhex, Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:51 (one month ago) Permalink

we may never know

martin short's interiors (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:52 (one month ago) Permalink

This movie (or at least the poster) taught me that the human leg is actually much longer than I realized.

Here Come the Warm Jets: A Beginner's Guide to Watersports (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 15:29 (one month ago) Permalink

i like spielberg :)

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 17 May 2018 16:05 (one month ago) Permalink

Me too. I was just joking upthread. Star Wars are two of my favorite movies ever.

Here Come the Warm Jets: A Beginner's Guide to Watersports (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 16:11 (one month ago) Permalink

Sorry, I meant Star Wars and More Star Wars.

Here Come the Warm Jets: A Beginner's Guide to Watersports (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 16:34 (one month ago) Permalink

sending King Kong and the Iron Giant after you

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 17 May 2018 16:40 (one month ago) Permalink

Ultraman gets shut out yet again

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Thursday, 17 May 2018 19:30 (one month ago) Permalink

people don't like jaws????

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 17 May 2018 19:37 (one month ago) Permalink

the movie or the mandible?

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 17 May 2018 19:40 (one month ago) Permalink

the movie silly billy

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 17 May 2018 19:41 (one month ago) Permalink

Saying that Jaws is far and away Spielberg's best film seems to annoy the Spielbergists here, but it is, and nothing else he's directed has come close. Spielberg obv deserves a lot of the credit for Jaws, but I also think the historical moment - Watergate, the end of Viet Nam - the intensity of the production, and the input of Milius and Shaw, all factor in very heavily too.

Ward Fowler, Thursday, 17 May 2018 19:53 (one month ago) Permalink

You're gonna need bigger bait.

nourish nourish your turtleheart (Eric H.), Thursday, 17 May 2018 19:55 (one month ago) Permalink

The shark roars like a lion in Jaws 4. I don't see how you can top that, really.

Here Come the Warm Jets: A Beginner's Guide to Watersports (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 19:55 (one month ago) Permalink

e.t. and jurassic park are good movies

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 17 May 2018 19:58 (one month ago) Permalink

Empire of the Jaws was the best Jaws G Ballard adaptation

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 17 May 2018 19:59 (one month ago) Permalink

Tintin movie was Tintin done right (finally).

Here Come the Warm Jets: A Beginner's Guide to Watersports (Old Lunch), Thursday, 17 May 2018 20:08 (one month ago) Permalink

verna fields deserves a lot of credit for jaws too

i am fast and full of teeth. i willl die in a barn fire (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 17 May 2018 20:11 (one month ago) Permalink

Saying that Jaws is far and away Spielberg's best film seems to annoy the Spielbergists here, but it is, and nothing else he's directed has come close. Spielberg obv deserves a lot of the credit for Jaws, but I also think the historical moment - Watergate, the end of Viet Nam - the intensity of the production, and the input of Milius and Shaw, all factor in very heavily too.


Dual comes close.

beard papa, Saturday, 19 May 2018 23:58 (one month ago) Permalink

Nascent works, both.

RPO was never gonna work for me, as I hate what little I know of "gamer" culture, but there's much in that Pinkerton article Eric posted I find valid -- that pop culture now just replicates the past endlessly, because none of it ever goes away, just to its corner of cyberspace/streaming.

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 20 May 2018 01:56 (one month ago) Permalink

Nascent works, both.

flea circuses

difficult listening hour, Sunday, 20 May 2018 03:10 (one month ago) Permalink


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