SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE)

would be?

He smiled to himself, fondly recalling the 1984 film A Draining Experience (directed by Sidney Pollack and starring a young Howie Mandel) and thinking himself quite clever for paying homage to the film's title with his turgid prose. He also remembered that 1984 was the name of a book or something that someone made sometime before the '80s so it's not actually important to note.

loool

We had thoughts at our podcast feed

Friends and listeners, we here at BtB are a peaceful bunch, truly. Then we see this excerpt from the new Ernest Cline novel. To which we can only say, begone foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace! pic.twitter.com/XQVHhum3sb

— By-the-Bywater (@BytheBywater) November 25, 2020

Ernest pauses, the tip of a well-chewed pencil between his lips, as he hovers over the list and casts his mind back once more into the well of youthful memory. Fast, he whispers to himself. What goes fast? After some time has passed, his eyes suddenly light up and he scrawls 'luck dragon' just below 'that spaceship with Pee-wee Herman's voice' and then wipes away the blood trickling freely from his left nostril.

Are you fucking kidding me

I've just been staring at this for five minutes pic.twitter.com/FDF740HMAl

— Jacob Mercy (@jacobmercy) November 25, 2020

if we hit that bullseye, their house of cards will fall like a row of dominoes... checkmate

Jesus, you can't even properly dunk on this shit because Cline will just one-up you on the self-dunkage every single time.

Bobo furrowed his brow. 'Bert and Ernie,' he began, trembling. 'Gremlins. Inspector Gadget. Um...Rainbow Brite.' He continued, sweat running from his temple. 'Big Wheels. Red Dawn. Fisher Price Little People.'

Jimjam smiled and nodded at Bobo's effort. 'View-Master,' he retorted. 'I hanker for a hunk of cheese.'

Bobo affected a strained grin in return. 'I also hanker for a hunk of cheese. And Fun-Dip.'

look you can dunk on Seth MacFarlane all you want but he never wrote a scene where a character said "it was like the snozzberries scene in Super Troopers, but funnier!!"

Chapter 4

Everybody sat down and watched "The Never-ending Story".

Chapter 5

"The Never-ending Story" ended.

by Ready Player 3, nobody will have watched the source films, just will absorb the media through Cline's stilted recollection of each flick

Jesus, you can't even properly dunk on this shit because Cline will just one-up you on the self-dunkage every single time.

I mean yeah when you make On Cinema look prescient it's a good sign that you fucked something up

Cline is the "We Didn't Start the Fire" of books

I was gonna say Presto Magix

The artists in Cline's dystopia only work in the media of Presto Magix and Colorforms and Etch-a-Sketch. Maybe Play-doh but only if they use like the Fun Factory. No off-book molding allowed.

Looks like the copyright action is happening to the tweets above.

(by action I just mean the book images have been removed)

crying copyright seems kinda rich given the nature of the document in question

To put it mildly!

(prints out complete transcripts of all Toys/Movies We Grew Up With episodes, shuffles pages, signs name at bottom)

the villain is going to be Captain Power, somehow

Ready Player 3: 30 Years Ago a Child Would Kick a Ball on the Street

so i hear that this book mentions Sword Art Online a bunch of times because its plot is ripped off of that series.

every time this gets bumped I have to watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMBylNJQEbg

As stated upthread I watched this with the kids and didn't hate it. I also saw the new Space Jam with the kids and yeah, it wasn't great but they really liked it, so no regrets.

not planning on watching Free Guy, with or without kids.

without question one of the worst things ive ever seen a theater crowd cheer for in my life pic.twitter.com/NYPsaHpKO1

— josh lewis (@thejoshl) September 25, 2021

lol I saw that but I guess I’d already walked out by that scene, Jesus Christ

it has 80% on rotten tomatoes

love content and properties

The thing I remember most about that film is that Taika Waititi is fucking terrible in it

Ryan Reynolds is such an unlikable and shite actor and he reminds me of Michael Owen

after about a million cue drops w/ "whoa do you remember star wars? EPIC" things in the past decade i think even the theme music is rotten for me, the second the notes hit i was like "oh BROTHER, do you gotta"

xp Yeah he’s always awful

should note that I did not deliberately see this, I bought a ticket to a “surprise film” and it turned out to be this non-movie, definitely got that losing scratchcard feeling when it sunk in

i honestly think there's a case that the worst movies of the modern era are the stupidest most banal empty insults of any period of anything

the laziest most ineptly shot custard pie fight is funnier than this void

For sure sign me up for a plague-era theater-of-literally-throwing-shit over this

I descended into the replies and saw this.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FAJ5K69WEAUN_Jp.jpg

"genuine assets"

loud neurotypical extroverts that cheer and whoop in cinemas is bad enough in any context and that people do it at Tarantino/Marvel Shitverse/Joker/Stuff Like This screenings is even bloody more criminal!

some comments saying that this is a kids film, but they clearly say "shit" twice, just in this clip.

"it has 80% on rotten tomatoes"

at least it was a 5% better movie than The Many Saints of Newark on RT shall be its epitaph

Free Guy was MUCH more entertaining than RP1

oh man, I'd forgotten about this little portion of lockdown entertainment (re the sequel book)

that "he was on a nearby production so they just winged it" thing is just hollywood kayfabe bullshit right? they say that about literally every surprise cameo in every shitty movie

that "he was on a nearby production so they just winged it" thing is just hollywood kayfabe bullshit right?

Of course. That two seconds of footage likely took six months of lawyers going back and forth.

so the guy from parks and recreation is captain America now?

sorry, must sound like either an idiot or a prick saying that, I honestly didn't know though

yeah, paul schneider is captain america

he's starlord fwiw

huh never heard of starlord before

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EVJwYzHU4As-HXX?format=jpg&name=medium

I remember reading Doomlord when I was recovering from measles but this starlord sounds like a bit of a wanker

This board is full of annoying ppl