supers: search and destroy

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or search, with Mag-Lites, for the purpose of destroying

water all over floor again, also the boiler's not working; do you know how unpleasant unexpectedly wet socks can be in 40 degree weather? so i call raymond. i have to call raymond. he's my super. he arrives with another one of his silent friends. this is one of the many classic exchanges we've had over the last year.

me: "so as you can see there's water in that corner of the bathroom, and also covering this whole corner of my room. it reaches all the way out the the carpet, see?"

raymond: "okay."

me: "and the electricity to the boiler works, but there's no gas coming through."

the boiler room is on the other side of the massive lake that's formed. raymond walks over to open the door, splish splash. he looks down at his feet. he looks up at me, confused. he looks at his friend. he looks back to me. "there's WATER here!"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 October 2002 17:18 (twenty-three years ago)

In California I had an elderly Chinese landlady who was very reluctant to hire anybody to fix anything so whe would always insist on doing the job herself, but she had minimal knowhow and a bad attitude. I remember when the overhead light in the bathroom stopped working and she came over to fix it.

She changes the bulb: still not working.
She flicks the switch off and on numerous times. Still not working.
She reascends the stepladder and touches the dark bulb.
She comes down and starts to fold up the stepladder, exclaiming: "Okay! It's warm! It's fixed!"

― Paul Eater (eater), Wednesday, 30 October 2002 17:29 (twenty-three years ago)

it's like there's a handbook somewhere on how to be this infuriating

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 October 2002 18:08 (twenty-three years ago)

That sounds shit Tracer. If it's any consolation I once lived in a house that had a defunct sink in the living room. The landlord decided to rip it out in JANUARY leaving a big hole (with snow blowing through it) in the living room wall. After two nights we said we weren't going to pay our rent unless he sorted it out.

"Mr A**** there is a very large hole in the wall."
"This door handle is broken."
"That's not really important, look at the hole."
"But this door handle is broken."
"With all honesty Mr A*** we don't care. There is a whole in the wall. We could catch our deaths' of cold."
"NO ONE HAS DIED IN THIS HOUSE YET!"

It was the 'yet' that really got me.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 30 October 2002 18:23 (twenty-three years ago)

fritz: Mr Landlord, Sir, it seems you have rented me an apartment infested with fleas.
landlord: Do you have pets?
fritz: No.
landlord: Because we don't allow pets.
fritz: I know, but your former tenant must have had cats or something because the rug has fleas.
landlord: But we don't allow pets!
fritz: sigh.
landlord: So... do you have any pets?

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Wednesday, 30 October 2002 18:34 (twenty-three years ago)

(this was many years ago, by the way, I don't have fleas any more.)

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Wednesday, 30 October 2002 18:35 (twenty-three years ago)

plumber: the drain is clogged. looks like it's just soap residue.
landlord: could that be from excessive soap use?

― Josh (Josh), Wednesday, 30 October 2002 23:12 (twenty-three years ago)

My super is my landlord is my upstairs neighbor, and the only other tenant in the building. Shit gets DONE. It's worth having to pay my own heating bill for this.

― Benjamin, Wednesday, 30 October 2002 23:51 (twenty-three years ago)

I meant "occupant" for "tenant," though I suppose one can argue he is his own tenant.

― Benjamin, Wednesday, 30 October 2002 23:52 (twenty-three years ago)

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