CLASH OF THE TITANS: chris de burgh vs daniel o'donnell

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okay folks it's time for the main event, the showdown you've all been clamouring for: which of these colossi of the creative arts is the best? and why?

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/daniel-o-donnell-october-1987-singer-from-ireland-wearing-denims-stripped-to-the-waist1.jpg
https://www.funkybunky.co.uk/media/ecom/prodxl/Chris-De-Burgh.jpg

Poll Results

OptionVotes
chris de burgh 5
i choose death 5
daniel o'donnell 3


your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 11:50 (eight months ago) Permalink

about fucking time! Don't forget chris de burgh allegedly has healing hands.

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 11:56 (eight months ago) Permalink

somehow i knew you'd be the first person to reply to this

your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 11:56 (eight months ago) Permalink

I'm down with D-O'D yeah you know me

bizarrer Gandhara (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 11:58 (eight months ago) Permalink

de burgh speaks

My daughter Rosanna won Miss World 2003 and it's fair to say that any beautiful genes come from my wife, Diane. She's now studying biomedicine and sports nutrition. She's also just about to do a photo shoot for Playboy, which I don't have a problem with. There's a huge difference between eroticism and pornography and as she's said herself, when she's old and wrinkly at least she can look back at these pictures.

your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 11:59 (eight months ago) Permalink

now that's supportive parenting

bizarrer Gandhara (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:01 (eight months ago) Permalink

In 2007, a concert in Tehran was planned for mid-2008, together with local band Arian, which would have made Chris de Burgh the first western pop singer to perform in Iran since the 1979 revolution. However, the concert never went ahead because he had not been given permission by the Iranian authorities to perform in the country.

bizarrer Gandhara (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:02 (eight months ago) Permalink

I'm a bit suspicious about chris de burgh's healing hands tbh. I bet if some old ugly bloke with bad hygiene + halitosis told him his balls were hurting, he'd be all .... I just can't quite channel the power right now..healing hands need regeneration ..

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:04 (eight months ago) Permalink

"Chris de Burgh healed my withered arm claims author"

lool!

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:06 (eight months ago) Permalink

the author happened to be a 33 yr old woman btw.

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:07 (eight months ago) Permalink

probably the same profile of most of his patients, just by chance.

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:08 (eight months ago) Permalink

"dont pay the ferryman" is a good tune tbf

Well bissogled trotters (Michael B), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:08 (eight months ago) Permalink

lest we forget de burgh's epic meltdown following a bad review of a gig from the irish times, here's the beginning of his letter to the editor in response:

I rarely read reviews, but as yours was sitting on my kitchen table, and after three sold-out shows in the Gaiety Theatre, I thought I should have a look at it; after all, receiving a favourable review in The Irish Timesis about as likely as . . . well, receiving a favourable review in The Irish Times!!

I was not disappointed. How the fond memories came flooding back, more than 30 years of them; you must have a Lexicon of Handy Insults, because you managed to use many of the same ones that have been used so many times before, and still they make me smile at their continued lack of imagination. “Small man . . . shudder . . . warbly tenor . . . mawkish balladeer . . . cringe factor . . . squeaky clean . . . snigger . . . cheesy” etc – yes, they were all there, as used by many of your colleagues before, such as Joe Breen (who, I note, has been put out to pasture in the wine section, and I am assured by friends in the wine trade that he knows as much about wine as he did about music – precious little. I wonder what they have in mind for you in your dotage? Searing critiques of primary school Christmas plays perhaps, or judging knife-sharpening competitions in Sligo?).

the rest of this masterpiece available in full here: https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/chris-de-burgh-sees-red-1.735963?via=mr

your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:10 (eight months ago) Permalink

" I have sympathy for your position, as it must be so poisonous to have to lurk in the shadows, riffling through the garbage bins of despair and avoiding those who think that you are an irrelevance, an irritation to be ignored and laughed about."

This is very harsh, he could be talking about any of us here!

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:16 (eight months ago) Permalink

yeah we can't all have Playboy model childrens

bizarrer Gandhara (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:28 (eight months ago) Permalink

gotta vote Chris de Burgh as he's basically ground zero for all this vaporwave shit. I mean how do you not like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgGc0JHSqvI

frogbs, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:32 (eight months ago) Permalink

because he had not been given permission by the Iranian authorities to perform in the country.

Iranian authorities otm. Good chance he'd have been shah'd.

♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:37 (eight months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0ofp0a-Qwk

O'Donell never got a V/Vm treatment, which is outrageous tbf

♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 12:39 (eight months ago) Permalink

Admire de burghs spunk on that one instance tbh

But he is late seventies Ireland's fetish for mysterious luvvie Anglo creative types made flesh in all of its weirdness also a Hobbit and a terrible weak voice

His young one is awful so bonus deduction

Daniel is massive and awful and our Liberace and our Elvis although he only really sounds like a tired Ricky Nelson also rumours his ma was his granny I think lynch could do a lot with daniel

Alderweireld Horses (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 14:00 (eight months ago) Permalink

Admire de burghs spunk

just

i mean

just don't ffs

your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 14:14 (eight months ago) Permalink

I think lynch could do a lot with daniel

this is otm tho

your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 14:15 (eight months ago) Permalink

O it's done xp

Alderweireld Horses (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 14:15 (eight months ago) Permalink

from the lady in red thread, a humdinger of a link from ned

Having learned about this from 2012, I must share it

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/chris-de-burgh-i-love-myself-im-not-saying-this-in-a-narcissistic-way-8207712.html

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 14:45 (six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 14:52 (eight months ago) Permalink

that poor wee lamb in his castle with no money

bizarrer Gandhara (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 15:04 (eight months ago) Permalink

You have a well reported dislike of ppl from castles tbf

Alderweireld Horses (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 15:11 (eight months ago) Permalink

I have a well-recorded distrust of the kind of cunt that tries to let on that they were poor despite having an ambassador for a dad, living in a castle and going to Marlborough school

bizarrer Gandhara (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 15:16 (eight months ago) Permalink

And looks quite like a bat

Alderweireld Horses (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 15:50 (eight months ago) Permalink

he's no chris de bruyne, thats for sure.

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 16:05 (eight months ago) Permalink

oh he's a kevin, never mind.

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 16:06 (eight months ago) Permalink

"We are proud to announce that Chris will be collaborating with Spotlight Productions on a musical based on the story of Robin Hood, this will initially open in Fulda in 2020."

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 16:09 (eight months ago) Permalink

And looks quite like a bat

this is an awful slander on a blameless winged rodent imo

your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 16:11 (eight months ago) Permalink

Subsequently people have told him his father had healing powers. “He was a seventh son and I met this woman in the Albert Hall who said, ‘your father healed me and he was only a wee boy’.”

Daniel also might have healing powers.

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 16:15 (eight months ago) Permalink

He often ends each song with a little fist-punching dance. He takes to a stool for some slow numbers. He tells jokes (“Did you hear about the time Paddy and Mary went to the Holy Land?”) and whenever he does something energetic like a high-kicking jig or a broom dance, he pretends to be worn out. He’s only messing. He isn’t worn out at all.

...and he could have taught James Brown a thing or two about working an audience.

calzino, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 16:16 (eight months ago) Permalink

His lotto ad and his gas ad are reasonably good

Alderweireld Horses (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 January 2018 16:20 (eight months ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Tuesday, 13 February 2018 00:01 (eight months ago) Permalink

voted Chris O'Dowd, profoundly misunderstood poll.

if penalty is death I shall pay it

Hi diddley dee, hen fapper's life for me (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 04:34 (eight months ago) Permalink

For years I was under the impression that Lady In Red was about Chris's wife who had died, so although I didn't like the song obviously, I thought it was mean to hate on him too much for it. Only now do I discover his wife is alive and well, so I have 32 years of concentrated Chris De Burgh hate to catch up on. Plus I have no idea who the other guy is.

Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 13 February 2018 08:48 (eight months ago) Permalink

Daniel O'Donnell is the real deal, he will show Scott Walker who da real avant-garde crooning mofo is when his Merzbow collaboration comes out.

calzino, Tuesday, 13 February 2018 10:10 (eight months ago) Permalink

Plus I have no idea who the other guy is.


trying to imagine what life without knowledge of daniel o’donnell would be like

what a blissful paradise that would be

albondigas con gas (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 10:59 (eight months ago) Permalink

:-o

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 11:02 (eight months ago) Permalink

that's no way to talk about a major Irish cultural icon, bejesus etc!

calzino, Tuesday, 13 February 2018 11:03 (eight months ago) Permalink

First the prospect of a hard border now this.

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 11:05 (eight months ago) Permalink

lol!

calzino, Tuesday, 13 February 2018 11:10 (eight months ago) Permalink

a re-imagining of Mann's Heat, where tough border cop Daniel O'Donnell is doggedly pursing DeBurgh's total arsehole of a tobacco dealer, and set on thwarting his plan to flood the North with cheap and deadly EU halfzware shag.

calzino, Tuesday, 13 February 2018 11:30 (eight months ago) Permalink

rumours his ma was his granny

and his sister MARGO was actually his mother.

Lot of Margo albums round the house before D O'D broke and transformed the scene.

Going down the Country and Irish rabbithole again. Me and Philomena have some catching up to do.

woof, Tuesday, 13 February 2018 11:37 (eight months ago) Permalink

When I was 10 I found out my "auntie" was a half-sister. Yay! my family is just as fucked up as Daniel's!

calzino, Tuesday, 13 February 2018 11:41 (eight months ago) Permalink

a re-imagining of Mann's Heat, where tough border cop Daniel O'Donnell is doggedly pursing DeBurgh's total arsehole of a tobacco dealer, and set on thwarting his plan to flood the North with cheap and deadly EU halfzware shag

irl lols also a serious desire to see this

"oh no my cheds" man had dark to black packet (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 11:56 (eight months ago) Permalink

Fuck that is exactly where this thread had to go

Treatment I will be considering the rest of the day: midnight run but get this get this

daniel in the ~~~~~grodin~~~~~ role boom

Alderweireld Horses (darraghmac), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 12:19 (eight months ago) Permalink

That can work.

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 13:30 (eight months ago) Permalink

9 1/2 weeks remake, o’donnell as mickey rourke and de burgh as kim basinger

albondigas con gas (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 13:46 (eight months ago) Permalink

Sleepless in Seattle Daniel as hanks de burgh as his kid

Alderweireld Horses (darraghmac), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 14:00 (eight months ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Wednesday, 14 February 2018 00:01 (eight months ago) Permalink

time for a chris de burgh / death rage in a cage match so we can settle this once and for all

albondigas con gas (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 00:33 (eight months ago) Permalink

Death thinks he has it won and starts celebrating but gene what's this deburghs healing hands have worked their mystic prod Norman magic on their augmented hobbit owner

anything can and will happen: elbraw is warble

Alderweireld Horses (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 01:34 (eight months ago) Permalink

BURGHAMANIA IS RUNNIN WILD BROTHER

albondigas con gas (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 08:01 (eight months ago) Permalink

Disgraceful.

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 09:58 (eight months ago) Permalink

5 of youse are savages

"oh no my cheds" man had dark to black packet (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 10:54 (eight months ago) Permalink

if danny had a banger like 'don't pay the ferryman' then he might've got my vote, but alas here i am on team chris

Maconie Youth (NickB), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 11:09 (eight months ago) Permalink

in my opinion you should pay the ferryman

mark s, Wednesday, 14 February 2018 11:17 (eight months ago) Permalink

Ferry payment avoidance is a scourge, about time the government cracked down on it.

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 11:19 (eight months ago) Permalink

the lyrics to that song do actually reveal a miserliness of spirit. Daniel O'Donnell would be flashing out a 50 euro note and telling the ferryman to keep the change.

calzino, Wednesday, 14 February 2018 11:31 (eight months ago) Permalink

Ah he wood so he wood

Alderweireld Horses (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 11:34 (eight months ago) Permalink

daniel o’donnell can’t cross running water tho iirc

albondigas con gas (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 12:15 (eight months ago) Permalink

hobbits can't swim iirc which is why de Burrrgh resents ferry charges

"oh no my cheds" man had dark to black packet (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 12:16 (eight months ago) Permalink

but behold the dancing bones:

In the rolling mist, then he gets on board
Now there'll be no turning back
Beware that hooded old man at the rudder
And then the lightning flashed and the thunder roared
And people calling out his name
And dancing bones that jabbered-and-a-moaned on the water
And then the ferryman said There is trouble ahead
So you must pay me now

Maconie Youth (NickB), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 12:18 (eight months ago) Permalink

ps this is the only daniel o'donnell i choose to acknowledge:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0d/Daniel_O%27Connell2.jpg/414px-Daniel_O%27Connell2.jpg

mark s, Wednesday, 14 February 2018 12:19 (eight months ago) Permalink

An advance ticketing policy would have avoided these problems of course.

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 12:21 (eight months ago) Permalink

The former Scottish Socialist Party (SSP) leader presented himself as the “Daniel O’Donnell” of Scottish politics while carrying on activities more akin to a Premiership footballer, a jury was told.

Agharta Christie (Ward Fowler), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 12:22 (eight months ago) Permalink

don't pay the sheridan / till he gets you to the other side

mark s, Wednesday, 14 February 2018 12:50 (eight months ago) Permalink


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