How much do you swear?

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Scientists have confirmed swearing helps alleviate stress. How much do you swear ?

Poll Results

OptionVotes
I. Occasionally 26
2. Swear like a motherfucker 26
4. Go fuck yourselves 26
3, fuck your hat 12


California scheming (Ross), Monday, 28 May 2018 23:59 (five years ago) link

I probably swear more on ilx than I do irl. But then I have more conversations on ilx than irl.

A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 00:02 (five years ago) link

Way too cunting much.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 00:25 (five years ago) link

Not nearly enough tbh

lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 00:27 (five years ago) link

almost never irl

keep yr powder dry

mookieproof, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 00:36 (five years ago) link

Fuckin all the fuckin time fuck ya

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 00:40 (five years ago) link

keep yr powder dry

also my theory (but not my practice)

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 00:41 (five years ago) link

Swearing is the music of life

startled macropod (MatthewK), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 00:49 (five years ago) link

Occasionally. Not out of any kind of prudishness, really; I think I just like it to have a dramatic impact when I bust out with a fuck or, much more infrequently, a cunt.

Police, Academy (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 01:11 (five years ago) link

Not much, only comfortable swearing around people I know very well and who are not co-workers.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 01:17 (five years ago) link

most people are bad at it

mookieproof, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 01:18 (five years ago) link

i'm alone a lot, and still swear a lot

i scream profanities in the subway *fairly* often

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 01:29 (five years ago) link

it’s part of my dna.
it’s not swearing it’s just how I talk

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 01:46 (five years ago) link

keep yr powder dry

Wise advice. Alas I often outdo Malcom Tucker :/

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 01:53 (five years ago) link

I'm perfectly capable of maintaining a civil tongue in situations where salty language is frowned upon or strictly verboten. In all other situations, I happily let those f-bombs fly like uncaged eagles.

i dont believe in the concept

language is language

laurel or hardyhearin (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 03:38 (five years ago) link

i dont believe in the concept

however, I'm pretty sure you believe in other people and they believe in the concept of swearing, so you may as well humor them because you'll never convert them all to your way of thinking, no matter how sane or logical.

A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 03:54 (five years ago) link

Australian swearers unite xxxp

startled macropod (MatthewK), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 04:04 (five years ago) link

✊🏻

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 04:06 (five years ago) link

Fark yair Matt

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 04:42 (five years ago) link

whaddoo we want
more swears
when do wannem
now ya cunce

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 04:52 (five years ago) link

i'm alone a lot, and still swear a lot

i scream profanities in the subway *fairly* often

Lol, why does this not surprise me?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 04:55 (five years ago) link

however, I'm pretty sure you believe in other people and they believe in the concept of swearing, so you may as well humor them because you'll never convert them all to your way of thinking, no matter how sane or logical.

― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 03:54 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fuck em

laurel or hardyhearin (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 05:47 (five years ago) link

Profusely when I was younger, less as I get older. Hearing your six year old son say fuck and realising he got it from you kind of makes you tone it down

Zelda Zonk, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 05:58 (five years ago) link

Way less as I get older. Taking other ppls feelings into account (parents, women (who often dislike swearing ime)) mostly.

albvivertine, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 06:35 (five years ago) link

I swear quite a lot I think. An uncreative peppering of my speech with fuck, at work, home, wherever. Despite this, I used to find it easy to moderate my speech in the presence of children. Now, I find swear words slip out and I instantly apologise instead.

No real idea how much I swear compared with other people in my world. I think I'm not unusual but if you asked me to say for sure which people at work didn't regularly swear, I'd struggle.

Alba, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 06:47 (five years ago) link

yes

flappy bird, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 07:24 (five years ago) link

My mouth is a sewer tbh. Swearing was not allowed when I was growing up, my grandma would not stand for it and my mum wouldn't allow it either but mostly so that grandma wouldn't get mad at her if she heard us swear. This even included milder words like shit or bloody. Only flipping was allowed. Maybe because of that I swore all the time when I wasn't at home.

Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 09:21 (five years ago) link

Not that much really.

Poisoned by Johan's pea soup. (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 10:51 (five years ago) link

Morbius’ answer made me laugh hard

I would pepper my sentences with swears but fuck that doggerell ass shite

California scheming (Ross), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 12:02 (five years ago) link

Also veg otm

California scheming (Ross), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 12:04 (five years ago) link

It's possible that I swear more at work than in any other situation. But I mean come the fuck on, look at this shit, man.

Old lunch - you’re lucky! No one swears at my current job and it’s a real drag.

Definitely relate to Alba’s post. A swear slipped out in front of a baby the other day and I apologized to the mother. She says “he can’t even understand anyway” lol

California scheming (Ross), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 12:40 (five years ago) link

My work swears are mostly under my breath or in the midst of commiseration with a coworker, but there are definitely some people here who've popped that DGAF cap all the way off wrt swearing that carries across the entire office (and possibly to other floors, who even knows). And this workplace is chill AF compared to my last!

Lol

My ex once sent an email to all staff telling them to go fuck the selves. It’s a wonder she wasn’t fired

California scheming (Ross), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 12:44 (five years ago) link

I'm trying to do it a LOT less outside of the house, but it ain't easy.

Eliza D., Tuesday, 29 May 2018 12:55 (five years ago) link

i'm a little bit sweary out loud, but tbh if there was an internal swearbox in my head, my brain would be halfway round the world on a superyacht and living the billionaire lifestyle as we speak

Toto Cuomo (NickB), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 13:28 (five years ago) link

Lots. I probably should be ashamed of it, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I used to never do it at any job I had til I got a boss that curses; now it’s like sailors constantly stepping on plugs.

I do manage to hold back around other half’s parents who are both older than mine, which isn’t to say I’m always successful.

gyac, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 13:37 (five years ago) link

i find it easy to manage around the kiddies and the prudes tbh

laurel or hardyhearin (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 13:39 (five years ago) link

Does flipping the bird count as swearing? (I think so.)

Polly of the Pre-Codes (j.lu), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 16:59 (five years ago) link

unless u wanna exclude deaf ppl i think it must

laurel or hardyhearin (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 17:01 (five years ago) link

btw i curse in the subway for direct cause, and in the hope of convincing others we need to rebel violently

also i am turning into a Crazy Old Man

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 17:11 (five years ago) link

I've called my laptop a cunt at least 3 times today. tbf it is a cunt

Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 17:18 (five years ago) link

I work in IT support, so I swear a pissing lot.

Swearing was not allowed when I was growing up

I have relatives who I'm certain have never used a swear stronger than "blimey".

2018 has to be better (snoball), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 17:25 (five years ago) link

Swearing wasn’t allowed when I grew up either.
One incident resulted in me getting my mouth washed out with soap to which I said “fuuuuck”

California scheming (Ross), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 17:53 (five years ago) link

I probably swear to myself/at my computer a couple times a day at my desk at work, generally don't swear in conversation except with people I know well

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 18:00 (five years ago) link

All the fucking time.

Bloody Snail, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 19:07 (five years ago) link

dozens of times every single day.

ian, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 19:20 (five years ago) link

I’m concerned. I swear like so much there’s no sentences anymore. It’s like “fuck cock ass bitch mother Mary whore ass shit”.

Ross, Wednesday, 30 May 2018 18:09 (five years ago) link

I’m partially kidding

Ross, Wednesday, 30 May 2018 18:09 (five years ago) link

my 8-year-old nephew favours 'what the chicken' as an all-purpose exclamation, which my wife and i have started using occasionally

capybaras are friend shaped (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 30 May 2018 19:43 (five years ago) link

Wait, this poll is cross-polling: there are options about frequency vs options about mode

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Wednesday, 30 May 2018 20:00 (five years ago) link

Wait, this poll is cross-polling: there are options about frequency vs options about mode

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Wednesday, 30 May 2018 20:00 (five years ago) link

I hardly ever swear around other people but do it all the time when I'm by myself. Swear words are pretty much the only words I say out loud when I'm alone.

silverfish, Wednesday, 30 May 2018 20:06 (five years ago) link

there's quite a lot of swearing at my office so I'm pretty much around profanity all the time. which means I almost invariably slip up at least once or twice when I'm around my nephews.

evol j, Wednesday, 30 May 2018 20:09 (five years ago) link

My siblings broke the 'swearing freely around my mom' seal ages ago but, aside from a slip-up here and there, I just can't quite relax my apparently prudish crack to that extent.

I really like the acting, dialogue and especially the scenes (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 30 May 2018 21:33 (five years ago) link

Re cross posting

Basically the poll options are this

- swear sometimes
- swear quite a bit you ass fuck head
- duck your hat and fuck your family
- premium sewer mouth.

Ross, Wednesday, 30 May 2018 22:25 (five years ago) link

Evol. Slip up? Fuck that shit

Ross, Wednesday, 30 May 2018 22:26 (five years ago) link

Ps silverfish is my main mAn

Ross, Wednesday, 30 May 2018 22:27 (five years ago) link

I have a friend who exclaims "shut the door!"

I love profanity, but honestly find it kind of lazy and tacky these days. So I don't curse much, personally, and am often thrown off by people cursing around me. But I love it in movies and music, though in the latter I prefer it used judiciously, whereas in the former (as in comedy) often the Rule of Infinity kicks in and takes it to the next level.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 31 May 2018 01:29 (five years ago) link

a lot but way more in my head / to myself than to others.

you bet, nancy (map), Thursday, 31 May 2018 02:09 (five years ago) link

I only swear on here in text (somehow, I rationalize it because it "doesn't count" that way or something, idk) and aloud when I'm by myself (usually driving). If you ever hear me swear, then I'm either really afraid of something or having a very bad day.

In general, I find that other people using profanity around me makes me kind of uncomfortable. I don't want to have that effect on someone else, so I watch myself.

he doesn't need to be racist about it though. (Austin), Thursday, 31 May 2018 04:12 (five years ago) link

I definitely selectively swear tho I’m sure we all do to some extent. My boss is religious so I never swear around her for instance

Ross, Thursday, 31 May 2018 06:17 (five years ago) link

i’m trayce and vg-level sweary

estela, Thursday, 31 May 2018 12:30 (five years ago) link

fourpence.

Mark G, Thursday, 31 May 2018 12:31 (five years ago) link

A great deal and not quietly

But I am relatively adept at self-censorship in front of audiences, at least for a while. When we get to the afternoon sessions of a full-day workshop or offsite I don’t really have the energy not to drop a few shits and let some fucks dribble out

El Tomboto, Thursday, 31 May 2018 12:45 (five years ago) link

i try to swear only swear when i need to/when it's appropriate -- when i am in traffic, when i forgot something, when i accidentally injure myself, etc
i remember buying a sebadoh tshirt with the words "lo-fi...fuckin' whatever" on it and being too embarrassed to wear it. i didn't really feel that strongly about sebadoh or lo-fi recording. i gave it away.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 31 May 2018 12:55 (five years ago) link

i am pretty sure i have told people to fuck off but i don't think i have ever said "fuck you" aloud directly to a person

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 31 May 2018 12:58 (five years ago) link

I've got to admit, I've gotten into the habit of yelling "shut the fuck up!" in the car when I'm tired of what's on the news and need to change the station.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 31 May 2018 12:59 (five years ago) link

we mostly speak English at home so chez nous we only swear in other languages, mostly French and Spanish but also Arabic. My kids chafe at it sometimes, they wanna drop F bombs but I like our home life not being like that. Still, if a French or Spanish speaker were here, yeesh, the things my kids say to other, & to us, & vice-versa...

w others / in other settings, it totally depends on the audience. I do a LOT of code switching.

droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 31 May 2018 13:15 (five years ago) link

i’m trayce and vg-level sweary

― estela, Thursday, 31 May 2018 12:30 (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you are ime at least dmac lvl sweary and tbh it seems worse from you

laurel or hardyhearin (darraghmac), Thursday, 31 May 2018 16:15 (five years ago) link

-i didn't really feel that strongly about sebadoh or lo-fi recording. i gave it away.

This is so hilarious btw

albvivertine, Thursday, 31 May 2018 22:52 (five years ago) link

Code switching swearing seems like cheating to me. I admire Euler’s family environment, it sounds rich and complex, but if you can disguise your fucks, are they really fucks?

Same for people who only swear whenever they think nobody can hear. When a tree shouts SHIT and nobody’s around, etc

El Tomboto, Thursday, 31 May 2018 22:58 (five years ago) link

A shouting tree would warrant some swearing imo

albvivertine, Thursday, 31 May 2018 23:01 (five years ago) link

cheating is for prescriptivists
there is no cheating for descriptivists, there is only usage

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 31 May 2018 23:01 (five years ago) link

i’m trayce and vg-level sweary

― estela, Thursday, 31 May 2018 12:30 (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you are ime at least dmac lvl sweary and tbh it seems worse from you


go jump in the lake

estela, Thursday, 31 May 2018 23:26 (five years ago) link

phwoar

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 1 June 2018 01:51 (five years ago) link

<3

On that note I hate it when men protest/are disgusted by women who swear but not by men who do. As u all may kno my bf does a crime podcast with his female bestie. They both swear a bit on the show - its that sorta show - but when emails or tweets of complaint come in, theyre always to say "Tara swears way too much" / "Tara has a foul mouth"/ "women shouldnt swear that much".

Once it happened re a show she didnt drop a single F or C bomb in, and Barney had dropped heaps :/ Yet they complained about her swears?

Fucking cunt sexists.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 1 June 2018 01:52 (five years ago) link

thats so stupid

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 1 June 2018 02:15 (five years ago) link

agree that is very stupid

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 1 June 2018 02:22 (five years ago) link

go jump in the lake
― estela, Thursday, 31 May 2018 23:26 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

uncalled for

laurel or hardyhearin (darraghmac), Friday, 1 June 2018 05:26 (five years ago) link

I'm an inveterate swearer, a father and a teacher. Bad mix.

I try not to swear in front of my own kids, with varying results. We've had lots of discussion about language choices and audience etc and I'm mostly sanguine about it. I generally don't swear in front of classes but have slipped a couple of times. I've found Y11s to be generally pretty potty-mouthed, so I tend to have the same discussions about language choices etc and move on.

The shard-borne beetle with his drowsy hums (Chinaski), Friday, 1 June 2018 09:40 (five years ago) link

I swear a fuckton

808s & Deep States (voodoo chili), Friday, 1 June 2018 12:39 (five years ago) link

Bullshit poll

let’s get real (alomar lines), Saturday, 2 June 2018 01:54 (five years ago) link

there's no such thing as swear words

flappy bird, Saturday, 2 June 2018 03:47 (five years ago) link

it's a myth

flappy bird, Saturday, 2 June 2018 03:47 (five years ago) link

Alomar - your face is a bullshit poll.

Slippage (Ross), Sunday, 10 June 2018 07:08 (five years ago) link

and here i was about to bump Your Favorite Ross and put you top of the list

let’s get real (alomar lines), Sunday, 10 June 2018 07:41 (five years ago) link

Damn. Sorry man

Slippage (Ross), Sunday, 10 June 2018 07:46 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Sunday, 15 July 2018 00:01 (five years ago) link

I predict hella swearing from this crowd

A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 15 July 2018 00:05 (five years ago) link

swear like a cunt unless i have to talk like a posh cunt

dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Sunday, 15 July 2018 00:51 (five years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Monday, 16 July 2018 00:01 (five years ago) link

that is an amazing result

El Tomboto, Monday, 16 July 2018 00:10 (five years ago) link

i love u ilx

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 16 July 2018 00:53 (five years ago) link

im-fucking-probable

shaped as cats and postmen (unregistered), Monday, 16 July 2018 01:12 (five years ago) link

amazeballs

StanM, Monday, 16 July 2018 06:43 (five years ago) link

I wonder if the "hardly ever" option would have polled 26 as well.

Mark G, Monday, 16 July 2018 12:33 (five years ago) link

Wtf

flappy bird, Monday, 16 July 2018 16:40 (five years ago) link


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