come anticipate tom hardy, michelle williams, and the black goo that killed tasha yar in VENOM: THE MOVIE

BECAUSE THE COMICS FANS OF 1993 DEMANDED IT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLCn88bfW1o

this looks very bad

Riz Ahmed gunning for that "least imposing villain" statue

i admit i'm not fully up to speed on every aspect of venom-related lore (because he is a very bad character and even the limits of my comics-related masochism can be exceeded) but who the fuck is 'riot', the villain riz ahmed is apparently playing? is this the titanic clash venom fans have been clamouring for for decades?

I'm a little sad that after avoiding it for so long, Williams finally got stuck as The Girlfriend

yeah :(

I am at least passingly familiar with like a half dozen symbiote-suited characters that it might've made sense to feature opposite Venom in this movie that someone presumably made at gunpoint, but I have never heard of Riot. Well done, Sony.

i feel guilty supporting this very bad-looking movie with my hard-earned bucks, but i know that if i don't, the rocket racer vs frog-man movie i've been dreaming about my entire life will never happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm curious to see if Sony will learn any lessons when their movie featuring popular Spider-Man villain Venom makes way way less money than the forthcoming Spider-Man movie featuring the way way less popular Spider-Man villains Mysterio and Chameleon.

'People seem to be responding very positively to Marissa Tomei as Aunt May, so I expect big things from our forthcoming Aunt Anna Watson movie starring Donna Pescow.'

Even Tom Hardy can’t possibly make this interesting.

Venom has always been one of the dumbest ideas ever, borne out of a depressing combination of creative bankruptcy and evil legal strategy and yet somehow it became "canonical" anyway

I feel like the only way to make this even slightly enjoyable would be as an ott chompy gorefest, and I'm assuming this is....not going to be that

it looks from the trailer like the chompyface is like gonna be teased for like two thirds of the movie and only go full bore at the end

also this has the unfortunate side effect of making it seem like a lamer version of Upgrade

can't believe how many times the trailer had that totally played out wiggly horror face sfx

Xpost made even more problematic by the fact that Upgrade's lead even looked like Hardy

How the hell is the villain in the movie NOT Carnage?

gotta save the big guns for the sequel!

(he will almost certainly show up in a post-credits teaser i’d bet)

Or at least a post-credits scene which teases a sequel that will never happen.

Goddamnit get out of my head, man

never

Surely we can find some way to monetize this mindmeld. Surely.

reminder that Raimi (correctly) thought Venom was lame and basically gave in to studio and fan pressure to shoehorn him into his third Spider-Man

"evil legal strategy and yet somehow it became "canonical" anyway"

I'm not up on any of this. I vaguely remember when Spiderman had a black suit in the 80's. what's the rest of the story?

i only remember Maximum Carnage for SNES.

come to think of it i'm an entire Spidey series behind, movie-wise.

"Phil Elverum's wife is in Venom," he thought to himself.

"Phil Elvenom."

this was... ungood

but tom hardy’s flopsweaty, edge-of-bugfuck performance is kinda worth the price of admission, even if i could only make out about a third of his muttered dialogue

I checked out 2/3rds of the way through. first third wasn't half bad tbh.

Has anyone else ever had such a big career despite being unable to be understood half the time in all their films?

but Upgrade did the same thing better, and with an actor who looks like Tom Hardy

even if i could only make out about a third of his muttered dialogue

― fans annoyed as emily atack screams over nick knowles' kumquat (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, December 12, 2018 5:31 PM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wait, are you saying he only takes the Bane mask off for a third of the film? Or that he only puts the Bane mask on for a third of the film?

breaking

venom stans are beefing with the ted bundy fandom ive seen it all https://t.co/tpPWkEgHWs

— SIDDIQ (@Sjompi_) January 27, 2019

can we get Al Bundy erotic enthusiasts involved in this somehow

Can we get a ruling on whether Al Bundy fetishists into pegging

thol (tee hee out loud)

this is true cinema

its the Vampires Kiss of superhero movies

I hadn’t considered this, but

“Actually, the sound boys, they worked relentlessly to trigger [it] – I’d have to lay down the vocal for Venom in the morning and then play Eddie opposite in my earpiece, and whoever was working in the scene with me, had to hear Venom at the same time but then ignore that they’d heard Venom.

“And whenever I gave my cue line as Eddie Brock – this might not make any sense to anybody who’s not really techie and geeky about things like this like me – but Patrick [Anderson] would be under the stage queuing Venom accurately so I could cut across him and talk and argue with myself, and stuff like that. It’s a bit techie, it was fun. It was really, really good fun, and the sound boys, actually, to be fair, probably really play Venom. It’s my voice [laughs ], but they play Venom.”

so i guess they recast cletus kasady with josh homme for the sequel?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ERk8PHPVAAA2ySW?format=jpg&name=large
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ERk8PLBU4AAj5rF?format=jpg&name=large

Woody Harrelson IS Josh Homme IS Cletus Kasady IS Carnage

strong guy gardner vibes off these photos tbh

full credit to everyone involved for finding a hairpiece that might actually look even more ridiculous than the carrot-top/ronald mcdonald frightwig that woody was rocking at the end of the first one

Helllllll yessssssssss

Beyond stoked