Which Hypothetical Comedy Threequel Fills You With the Greatest Sense of Existential Dread?

Weekend at Bernie's III: Back in Putrifaction

listen old lunch you can't just steal album titles from my grindcore band like this

I will never cease to be amazed by the fact that a sequel to weekend at bernies was actually made, though not amazed enough to actually watch it

Count me as a write-in vote for Home Alone IV: Even More Aloner

re Bernie's, i'm always amazed that no one's made a film about the brief theft of Charlie Chaplin's corpse in the late '70s.

Three Men and a Full-Grown Woman

I swear I remember hearing that something like this was in the works a while ago...

kinda have to go with "Either Which Way We Want" for pure chutzpah/nonsense, I mean what does that title even mean

If we're making a new Home Alone film there would need to be a reason the fully grown Kevin was not supposed to be home alone, probably a crippling mental illness of some sort, or bedridden and in need of 24-hour care. Either way, it's going to be quite a different film to it's predecessors

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRQCNfmhMpo

there was a third Analyze This???

oh lol

alternately: there wasn't a third Weekend at Bernie's???

where do you see evidence of an Analyze III?

i stayed away from both despite Harold Ramis, cuz i hate Billy Crystal that much.

it'd be kinda awesome if the new home alone film were about an elderly harry and marv finally getting revenge on middle-aged kevin

the second poll option, "Analyze These" xp

kinda have to go with "Either Which Way We Want" for pure chutzpah/nonsense, I mean what does that title even mean

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, August 7, 2018 1:29 PM (ten minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Maintaining the naming convention of the previous films was surprisingly difficult!

imo the winner here is obvious - "Are We Dead Yet?"

Y'all do realize that there are already no fewer than four Home Alone films, right?

Next one in the series should be Analyse Yon

Analyse Deez

Strongly considered that variation but it felt like a betrayal of the 'generic De Niro mobster' tone established by the previous installments. Although maybe the third film is about the mob boss's jabroni brother taking over the family business?

Analyze Deez would feature his wacky nephew who would teabag him while he was napping and put the pics on snapchat

Please, can De Niro play both the mob boss and the decades-younger nephew? Please?

(And I would hope it's understood, in that scenario, that Billy Crystal will be playing both the analyst and the son of the analyst.)

Sandler as the nephew.

Well, on title alone, Three Men and a Full-Grown Woman.

Caddyshack III, just because Ackroyd's greenskeeper was so excessive, dread where they'd go with a third. Otoh, Ricky Gervais could truly provide an uncomfortable viewing as Carl's British cousin.

To speak further on the origins of this ridiculous poll: I heard Kenny Loggins's 'Nobody's Fool' (aka the theme from Caddyshack II) the other day and I could've sworn he sang 'goin' back to the shack' (nb, actually 'goin' back to the shadows') and I wondered how in the hell that wasn't the subtitle of the film. I figured someone needed to rectify that grievous rift in the universe by at least paying tribute to the notion, and why not me.

So if Jackie Mason replaces Dangerfield in part two, who picks up the Mason mantle in three? What's Mencia up to these days?

cyborg gopher grooving to kenny loggins' long lost detroit techno lp

this 1990 educational film is basically Short Circuit 3 (though lots of people in comments are pointing out that Johnny 5 was gold plated when he became a US citizen at the end of the second movie, so maybe this isn't canonical)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6-dJ7N-jgI

At the risk of encouraging old lunch, there was a twins sequel mooted at one point (I think with Eddie Murphy?)

xpost I would've hoped that I didn't have to explicitly say it but only canonical Johnny 5 material is welcome itt, friend.

Encouraging me in any way really is the worst idea ever, I'll grant you.

(Obviously the second sequel to Twins, after the smash success of the follow-up Triplets, would be entitled Twin3 and involve perverting typography beyond all good judgment to make that '3' look something like an 's'.)

I went to the wikipedia page for 'Who's Johnny' because I wanted to see if there was an explanation for the cardboard cut-out of Steve Guttenberg that appears in the video (I mean, I guess he couldn't make the shoot because he was too busy filming Police Academy 3: Back in Training or whatever, but surely the cardboard cut-out just draws attention to his absence?) It doesn't offer any explanation of that, but it asserts that El Debarge is supposed to be playing the Fisher Stevens character, which imo is an odd conclusion to draw

The video features El DeBarge singing in a courtroom, where a judge is presiding over the trial of Johnny 5 (the robotic protagonist of Short Circuit). A representative of NOVA, the government defense contractor that created Johnny, sits at the prosecutor's table as El DeBarge sings his testimony from the witness stand. Stephanie Speck (Ally Sheedy) and a cardboard cutout of Newton Graham Crosby, Ph.D. (Steve Guttenberg) are also in attendance as adversarial witnesses for the prosecution, implying that El Debarge is playing the co-lead role of Ben Jabituya, played by Fisher Stevens in the film. The prosecutor's sole question during these examinations is the titular line of the song "Who is Johnny?" She plays a VHS tape, labeled "Short Circuit," containing various clips from the movie. Meanwhile, Number 5 wreaks havoc in the courtroom (only his robotic hand is visible to the viewer) with various hijinks, including giving the prosecuting attorney a pair of funny nose glasses, turning up the ceiling fan to create a windstorm of papers, swapping the judge's gavel for an exploding one and calling the fire department, resulting in the judge being sprayed with water. Stephanie and El DeBarge sneak out of the courtroom at the end, covering the camera with a slate on their way out. The prosecutor, still wearing the trick glasses, pops up to deliver the last "Who's Johnny?"

The "Who's Johnny" video is a dadaist masterpiece.

also, Austin Pendleton thinks that Dustin Hoffman should have played the Steve Guttenberg part in the movie

According to Pendleton, the role Steve Guttenberg ended up playing "was a person who could not relate to other human beings, so he poured all that into the creation of the robot. Well, Steve, he's a lovely guy, and I think he's talented... He had a wonderful kind of charisma. Very easy, but utterly social. He's just so very engaging and open with people. He's wonderful to be on a movie with... [But] he does not bring onscreen with him the problem that the character in that movie has... The perfect person for the role, 20 years earlier, would have been Dustin Hoffman. That thing that Dustin brought to The Graduate that a more affable actor would not have... A sense of utter alienation from everything around him...And that kind of energy in Short Circuit, I think would have just been shatteringly beautiful."[6]

Gene Shalit of The Today Show calls Short Circuit 'shatteringly beautiful'.

that's a typo it was supposed to be "shitteringly beautiful"

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

write-in for Zoolander 3: The Sequel

Oh, since I started this poll, a remake of Any Which Way But Loose has been announced. You know, the remake everybody has been clamoring for? That's the one I'm talking about.

I will never cease to be amazed by the fact that a sequel to weekend at bernies was actually made, though not amazed enough to actually watch it

i saw the sequel and still have never seen the first one. whenever that comes up in conversation (about once every 10 years or so) the other person always tells me that the first one is better than the second for sure, but then makes sure that i understand the first one is also not good

Spaceballs III: the Search for ‘Spaceballs II’

Also, wasn’t Kevin Smith in the process of trying to make “Fletch Won” like 12-14 years back, only with Jason Lee as the younger Fletch and Chevy perhaps providing narration?

Fletch Won was the eighth Fletch book, but the earliest-set prequel.

(The second and third books are sequels; the fourth is a prequel; the fifth and sixth are sequels; the seventh* is a prequel to the second; the eighth is a prequel to everything, the ninth is a sequel to the eighth. However, between the second and third, there is also a spin-off about a cop, Flynn, who’s on the case that Fletch has been framed for in the second, which goes on to have two chronological sequels in between various of the achronological Fletch sequels.

Then basically ten years later there are two books about Fletch’s son, then another ten years later, one more about Flynn, but set weeks after the third.)

*i’ve been reading them for five years and am up to here. took me nine months to get through it.

We Bought Another Zoo

Wait, so if that's the proposed third installment, is We Bought a Zoo a sequel?! Wow, I had no idea that I Accidentally Domed Your Son was popular enough to warrant one follow-up, let alone two.

Latest edition of Shock Cinema magazine (always a great read & good value too!) has an interview with the writer/director of the Weekend at Bernie's films. He says the second one is the highlight of his career. Also that there's an endless debate as to which one is best.

All those poll options are way too good, genuine lols.. "Mannequin 3: now I've seen everything" the mind boggles...

an interview with the writer/director of the Weekend at Bernie's films.

please note that the director of Wake In Fright and First Blood did not in fact write any Weekend At Bernies films, and did not direct the second

Blues Brothers Three because of the prominent John Mayer show stopper.

any movie with a john mayer feature has got to be good, and i mean really good

The tribute to Cab Calloway where he does call and response with his own guitar? Hard pass.

I want to tip my hat to "Fletch Loves".... salute!

please note that the director of Wake In Fright and First Blood did not in fact write any Weekend At Bernies films, and did not direct the second

― ▫◌▫ (sic), Friday, 31 August 2018 06:39 (forty-three minutes ago) Permalink

Yes, many people didn't write or direct these particular films.

At the risk of encouraging old lunch, there was a twins sequel mooted at one point (I think with Eddie Murphy?)

Thank you, everything, I'd gotten lax on picking up Shock Cinema (recommendation seconded!) but clearly I need to rectify this grievous oversight.

I kinda want to see an inexplicable Only Child prequel to Twins now.

BTW, just noticed I misspelled 'putrefaction' so we're going to have to redo this poll I'm afraid.

Yes, many people didn't write or direct these particular films.

That guy did direct Weekend At Bernie's, though

it's the #1 fun fact to tell ppl after they see Wake In Fright for the first time

Yeah I didn’t know that!

(Although I have never seen weekend at Bernie’s)

Wake in Fright would have been a good subtitle for Weekend at Bernie's 2. Y'know, kind of an examination of the morning after you've paraded your boss's corpse around at a party and the monster you suddenly realize that you've become.

(And also Bernie is in the bed with u, natch.)

you have a vague, unexaminable memory that you and a glistening Donald Pleasance may have played two-up on Bernie's corpse

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.