GOTTA GO FAST: come uhh' anticipate' the SONIC THE HEDGEHOG movie with me i guess

I begrudgingly went with friends to see Ace Ventura 2, which is still the only time I've ever fallen asleep in a movie theater. Although I woke up for the part where he erupted from the rhino's anus and I'll admit that that was p funny.

(Although tbf emerging from a rhino's anus has been a reliable gag since time immemorial.)

exiting the vampire's castle 2: when hyoerstition calls

funnier w/o the typo i admit

Ace Ventura is funny but also viciously transphobic and racist so I have to get my “guy makes his bum talk” fix elsewhere sadly

https://www.geek.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/buff-sonic.jpg

and you get that fix now from donald trump press conferences amirite xp #resist #itsmuellertime #orangemanbad

I get it from my upcoming novel about le petomane

I still don't see how Danny DeVito didn't get the Dr. Robotnik role

Probably had something to do with the state of intense inebriation which led to him stumbling into the audition in the first place against the slurred advice of his drinking buddies as they implored him to think about his career.

Now I want to see a Sonic movie with a constantly-drunk DeVito. Preferably starring in all of the major roles.

i like jim carrey and thinks he's funny.

alrighty then

I'm sure he's a total douche irl - see anti-vax stuff and his "i do not exist" schtick

It's all subjective but I find that I only really tend to like comedians who act like they've never witnessed actual human behavior when there isn't a patina of self-satisfaction slathered across every exaggerated expression and odd turn of phrase.

I sort of liked zany 90s Jim Carrey, and genuinely liked him when he did The Truman Show and Eternal Sunshine, and this is a lot worse than a step backwards from that. Also it doesn't help that he has the worst script of all time to work with and is compensating for the lack of jokes with extra gurning.
His drawings are horrible, it was good that they annoyed Mussolini's granddaughter, but that's about it.

Jim's "Dark Crimes" era didn't pay off well

https://www.slantmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/darkcrimes-2.jpg

That film is so bad

this was the nadir

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/8/11/1376223731535/Jim-Carrey-in-The-Number--010.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=3a0241aa940b6ab61ea22b16d273511b

First look at revamped Sonic is promising

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/VkrHEYKSirg/hqdefault.jpg

this was the nadir

🖼

Is it possible that an exec on the UglyDolls movie plays golf with some higher-up at Paramount and was all like 'yeah bro this thing is gonna be huge, better look out Sonic!' knowing full well that it was 80 minutes of dumpster runoff but still spooking the other dude into pushing out the Sonic trailer this week in hopes of dominating the shitty CG conversation? Because if so, it was totally successful. I had no idea a goddamn unnecessary UglyDolls movie was even in the works let alone being released, uh, today.

just ducking in to say that I was listening to Fun House while browsing this thread and "L.A. Blues" came on just as I hit play on that youtube vid of the "you all ruined sonic" kid and those two things playing simultaneously matched up just... perfectly. Mashup of the year, I highly recommend it.

pic.twitter.com/LloVK8V3B7

— James Urbaniak (@JamesUrbaniak) May 3, 2019

I'm so sorry pic.twitter.com/wGP0B6jNN2

— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) May 3, 2019

improves both

this movie has already unleashed so much horror into this world

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/367/205/22e.png

https://i.imgur.com/Ivqq0WM_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=m

http://www.funnysigns.net/files/dr-hedgehog-whoever-keeps-adding-og-to-the-end-of-my-doorsign-stop-it.jpg

*whoever

https://i.redd.it/n4fwysiiy4w21.jpg

gaaaaaaahhhh

per this thread: aggrieved pissbabies 10 inadequate fan service 0

that last image alone is worth more than the whole of bret easton ellis and will self combined (caveat: i have read very little of either)

in addition i have never played a computer game more complicated than tetris*

*(the only good trilogy)

never to late to get deep into the lore of the dead or alive beach basketball series imo

I'd recommend Shaun Shouting Simulator myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAhG9D9UO7c

https://66.media.tumblr.com/79f91c31aabcf3a989709ba341a87256/tumblr_pr0pqrBzz91qhqrd6_540.jpg

credit where credit’s due, they’ve nailed the redesign

Has psychoanalysis gone too far?

https://i1056.photobucket.com/albums/t366/sonikkusong/25403113_1280x960_zpspypaa5dg.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/bzbuphj.png

this is truly the most cursed of all the threads

This should fix things

https://i.redd.it/6oqfkbklndw21.jpg

#gottafixfast is evil:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=losBbRx_4iM

Sneak peek at the (unannounced as of yet) third episode of this upcoming trilogy:

https://i.redd.it/v0j2rs4pmpy21.jpg

Sometimes I wonder if I might have died a while ago, and what I thought were the past few years were in fact an increasingly incoherent phantasia desperately wrought by my battered synapses' last gasps. It's a comforting thought and I thank the internet for reinforcing it like this.

Wonder no longer, my friend. And take comfort that we're all of us in the same boat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh5eis0sMHI

https://66.media.tumblr.com/4d609e775c5a1b9ea22b717dca3c09b1/tumblr_pqs6w9kFrt1x0bvwko1_500.gif

After they're done re-creating Sonic I predict a loud online outcry and/or petition to bring the weird teeth back.

Now with less Unheimlichkeit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szby7ZHLnkA