RIP Boris Johnson

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I hear he's in a ditch now

Οὖτις, Friday, 1 November 2019 19:52 (six months ago) link

drowned iirc

sarahell, Friday, 1 November 2019 19:52 (six months ago) link

five months pass...

*cough*

Οὖτις, Monday, 6 April 2020 19:40 (one month ago) link

*gasps*

Ludo, Monday, 6 April 2020 19:40 (one month ago) link

cough the fuck away from me

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:40 (one month ago) link

Keeping the thread warm, good maintenance

la légende d'beer (Matt #2), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:40 (one month ago) link

One thing the US libs and the UK hard left can agree on

xyzzzz__, Monday, 6 April 2020 19:41 (one month ago) link

shakey u hero

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:43 (one month ago) link

RIP, may heaven grant you hair that doesn't look like a shit

Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:45 (one month ago) link

Boris Johnson, great-grandson of Ali Kemal Bey, is now "the sick man of Europe."

— Gary Alexander (@grylxndr) April 6, 2020

mookieproof, Monday, 6 April 2020 19:45 (one month ago) link

boom

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:46 (one month ago) link

That's worth a LOL tbh.

Did somebody just say eat? (Tom D.), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:47 (one month ago) link

salute to Comrade COVID

COVID and the Gang (jim in vancouver), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:47 (one month ago) link

Goodbye England's rose ... y gammon ass.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:02 (one month ago) link

Is there a protocol for what to do with this thread if he does drop off the perch?

la légende d'beer (Matt #2), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:03 (one month ago) link

You dowse it with your favorite sparkling wine.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:03 (one month ago) link

COVIDEO Killed the Brexito Star (but not really unless it's a covincidence)

dow, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:04 (one month ago) link

oops https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-52192604

dow, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:07 (one month ago) link

just in time to be resurrected on Easter

frogbs, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:13 (one month ago) link

Nooooooo, when shakes does these threads they don't come true ffs

Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:17 (one month ago) link

they always come true, eventually

Οὖτις, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:18 (one month ago) link

well, not the part where I wish them a peaceful rest, that's just a joke

Οὖτις, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:19 (one month ago) link

It's very weird to wish ill health on someone, however, it's hard to think of him as an actual person and not a blight on society.

Maresn3st, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:21 (one month ago) link

nothing weird about wishing bad on ppl at all imo

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:22 (one month ago) link

i'm always very impressed at how hard and uncompromising shakey is. he crosses lines others wouldn't dare to cross, so amazing.

treeship., Monday, 6 April 2020 20:24 (one month ago) link

vital content, truly

treeship., Monday, 6 April 2020 20:25 (one month ago) link

If the "worst" should come to pass maybe they'll keep him like this till the vaccine comes through

https://i0.wp.com/www.pinkink.media/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/hitlers-brain-4.jpg

la légende d'beer (Matt #2), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:25 (one month ago) link

treesh

trís a mhic

not only is this a beloved shakey thing

but this is boris johnson

this is not the hill

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:26 (one month ago) link

Where's that Keegan jpeg?

Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:27 (one month ago) link

I think we're reaching peak corona threads now this one's edged into the mix

la légende d'beer (Matt #2), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:28 (one month ago) link

#pray4boris

https://youtu.be/z0jw5qBgUuo

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:29 (one month ago) link

Albini otm

Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:31 (one month ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_3oFRcTNHo

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:42 (one month ago) link

Like every other person in the world who gets infected, whether BoJo lives or dies will depend entirely on his own body's ability to overcome the virus, since the only thing the ICU can do for him is force oxygen into his lungs via a ventilator. The rest is up to his immune system and major organs.

A is for (Aimless), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:24 (one month ago) link

of state

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:25 (one month ago) link

Hoping his major organs make the right choice

brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:26 (one month ago) link

Did they toss someone else out of bed to replace them with him y/n

nashwan, Monday, 6 April 2020 21:27 (one month ago) link

thats the question

was this ward at capacity

is he of a similar profile of illness to take up a scarce bed as anyone else

etc

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:40 (one month ago) link

St Thomas & Guy’s has a private ward.

extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:43 (one month ago) link

private ward, major organs

ymo sumac (NickB), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:46 (one month ago) link

general hilarity

Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:58 (one month ago) link

I feel very conflicted on this. I had money on Bolsonaro to be the first to go.

Frederik B, Monday, 6 April 2020 22:05 (one month ago) link

I think Bolsonaro is in considerably better physical shape than Boris... at the best of times.

Did somebody just say eat? (Tom D.), Monday, 6 April 2020 22:06 (one month ago) link

+1 for herd immunity

crüt, Monday, 6 April 2020 22:06 (one month ago) link

Awesome:

well im going to keep this brief. i overexerted myself while responding to emails and got put up in the hospital. i basically need lungs now

— wint (@dril) September 9, 2013

xyzzzz__, Monday, 6 April 2020 22:25 (one month ago) link

this is not a dril?

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 22:29 (one month ago) link

the biggest tragedy here is the death parties will need to be held remotely or postponed

aaaaeeeeeeoooooooowwww (Left), Monday, 6 April 2020 22:49 (one month ago) link

for obvious reasons, if the unthinkable happens, I have dibs on "BoJohnsonDeadverdrive"

no feeble christ (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 04:00 (one month ago) link

this is a horrible thread

Dan S, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 04:09 (one month ago) link

yes now more than ever what we must do is spend four figures on some fucking cufflinks

force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:15 (one month ago) link

Starting a rival one to see if we can raise six grand for Dignitas.

ShariVari, Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:16 (one month ago) link

irl lol

a slobbering sombrero moment (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:17 (one month ago) link

same

force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:17 (one month ago) link

He dead yet?

Bo Johnson Coviddied (Neanderthal), Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:30 (one month ago) link

Apparently he was engaging positively with his scrotum yesterday whilst gargling blood and shitting his kecks

calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:33 (one month ago) link

Either he's much worse than is being claimed OR he thinks that Dominic Raab is too stupid and unreliable to be running the country properly in his absence and therefore the less he knows the better.

Matt DC, Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:34 (one month ago) link

He is now out of ICU and will almost certainly live to tell the tale.

Publius Covidius Naso (pomenitul), Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:28 (one month ago) link

"get up yer bastard, there's nowt wrong with thee!"

calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:32 (one month ago) link

RIP


UPDATE: British PM Johnson has been moved out of ICU.

"The Prime Minister has been moved this evening from intensive care back to the ward, where he will receive close monitoring during the early phase of his recovery,” Downing Street says.

— NBC News (@NBCNews) April 9, 2020

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:32 (one month ago) link

You win some, you lose some.

A is for (Aimless), Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:34 (one month ago) link

can’t believe they misspelled ‘morgue’ as ‘ward’ ffs

force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:37 (one month ago) link

There's still tomorrow, you never know.

Publius Covidius Naso (pomenitul), Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:38 (one month ago) link

great revive

ban laggy jazzer (imago), Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:17 (one month ago) link

ffs

ShariVari, Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:18 (one month ago) link

I suspect the enforced mourning will be prolonged indefinitely regardless

aaaaeeeeeeoooooooowwww (Left), Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:35 (one month ago) link

These threads never work I blame shakey

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:46 (one month ago) link

nothing good comes from putting the death cart before the horse. When will you ppl learn!

calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:48 (one month ago) link

shakey is a psy op

force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:50 (one month ago) link

Was he actually ill or was it aristocratic japes and tomfoolery?

anvil, Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:53 (one month ago) link

i don’t believe shakey was ill, no

force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:55 (one month ago) link

Ey I cannae believe that they put him in some brandy barrels. He must really be worse Dan I say . https://t.co/fOwMQOdVL2

— RobertoPesto (@PestoRoberto) April 9, 2020

calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 21:03 (one month ago) link

Johnson never had the rona
merely 5g morgellons

nashwan, Thursday, 9 April 2020 21:07 (one month ago) link

hoping for a reverse Jesus this weekend

boxedjoy, Friday, 10 April 2020 06:09 (one month ago) link

Was he actually ill or was it aristocratic japes and tomfoolery?

I don't believe it's the case at all, but it would really be something if he ducked out of the spotlight for a week or so to avoid scrutiny, ended up being taken to hospital and having to play along, then had to spend several days surrounded by poor bastards dying on ventilators while inevitably picking up the virus for real himself.

The Rampaging Goats of Llandudno (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Friday, 10 April 2020 22:53 (one month ago) link

I mean he looked pretty fucking ill before they hauled him in, not that he doesn't usually mind. Still time for a relapse by the way folks #fatchance

sonatas and interludes for prepaid nando's (Matt #2), Friday, 10 April 2020 23:26 (one month ago) link

‘It Was, For, Uh, Medical Reasons,’ Says Doctor To Boris Johnson, Explaining Why They Had To Give Him Haircut https://t.co/WzKHHwqENf pic.twitter.com/DIj9lAkN6q

— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 9, 2020

but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, 10 April 2020 23:37 (one month ago) link

The fat fuck is not only not dead he is out and posting video messages.

The Corbynite Maneuver (Tom D.), Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:43 (one month ago) link

At least his forthcoming child will get to know his father, unusually

quartet for the endocrine (Matt #2), Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:48 (one month ago) link

I've got to say for a guy who was supposedly at death's door a few days ago he's bearing up well.

The Corbynite Maneuver (Tom D.), Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:55 (one month ago) link

who thinks he wasn't ill enough to be hospitalized and this was some sort of scheme from cummings?

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:56 (one month ago) link

i really wanna think that but shurely there's no way?

où sont les threads d'antan? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:59 (one month ago) link

I absolutely subscribe to that theory. I mean it isn't exactly Icke territory, he's a born liar and has a history of hiding when the going gets tough.

calzino, Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:00 (one month ago) link

doesn't take a lot of subterfuge, just need him to say he's feeling worse, the hospital isn't going to refuse to admit the prime minister.

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:01 (one month ago) link

i think they could tell if he was breathing properly or not

où sont les threads d'antan? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:02 (one month ago) link

I could imagine him bullshitting that it would be good theatre to show the seriousness of the situation blah blah and give him the opp to evade scrutiny.

calzino, Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:06 (one month ago) link

Death would've been the ultimate evasion of scrutiny.

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:07 (one month ago) link

I think there are plenty of people who have some minor breathing difficulties and aren't admitted to hospital right now. the grim tone of the way they announced it was the main sleight of hand here.

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:08 (one month ago) link

Surely there's a lower bar for hospitalization when it's the PM, deserved or not.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:12 (one month ago) link

this is all shakey’s fault

force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:24 (one month ago) link

otm, turns out all he needed was to rest peacefully for a stretch

dip to dup (rob), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:25 (one month ago) link

he's probably dead, video was recorded years ago along with thousands of others in the event that he somehow became PM and came down with something called covid-19

℺ ☽ ⋠ ⏎ (✖), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:33 (one month ago) link

there's other videos where he survives being murdered by the ghost of blackbeard, falling into a pit of spikes and losing all his coins, etc

℺ ☽ ⋠ ⏎ (✖), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:33 (one month ago) link

he's actually been replaced by Paul McCartney in a mask

genital giant (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:34 (one month ago) link

I blame myself for not pushing him into traffic when he cycled past me c.2009

reality disliker (Left), Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:13 (one month ago) link

I am a Boris truther AMA

anvil, Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:17 (one month ago) link

He was nearly admitted several times before he was actually admitted, but the ICU admittance was down to extra caution because of his position. I know this for absolute fact, but can’t say how.

mike t-diva, Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:43 (one month ago) link

RIP Boris Johnson

let me be your friend on the other end! (Karl Malone), Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:44 (one month ago) link

mike t-gove morelike xp

force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:45 (one month ago) link

i knew it!

calzino, Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:46 (one month ago) link


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