RIP Boris Johnson

Is there a 'last famous person you were not surprised to discover was actually still alive' thread we can stick Boris on?

whatever daniel dale thinks he's doing (fact checking?) is part of the problem IMO

Quoting?

He’s a New York Times article that leads with the lie, but a twitter account.

wow, my eyes just rolled so hard it broke my brain

Anyway the say it’s bad news if you do more than 3-4 days in ICU. This is day 4. If they don’t announce a discharge you can safely assume they’re lying about his condition

— Your Mum (@judeinlondon2) April 9, 2020

boris has historically tried to keep his discharges quiet tbf

No cadaver no cred. He needs dragging off that bed if he isn't dead by the end of the day.

Debatable re ICU - thereve been people walking out of there after two weeks. Though he will likely not be ready to work if/when he emerges.

I don't debate what Jude says here because I'm a Boris is faking it truther to the death now!

PM 'accessible' and 'mentally able to make decisions' from hospital https://t.co/vDLFghBZbV

— Sky News Politics (@SkyNewsPolitics) April 9, 2020

I mean that’s a change too - you have to be really sick to reach the stage where it has to be stated you’re “mentally capable” of making decisions.

What if he's discharged but then just has a heart attack on the toilet next day.

Look we're all trying to stay optimistic

Though he will likely not be ready to work if/when he emerges.

He'll just do what he's done his entire life, get someone else to do the work for him.

Big fan of Dominic Raab completely destroying the government's PR cause he's too dumb to lie properly https://t.co/03DyCLFs3F

— Loki (@Lokinash06) April 9, 2020

ya that stuck out like a sore thumb to me in the guardian liveblog too - that does not... seem good

define "not good"

I'm torn between yay he's toast! and grr! drag that malingering posh cunt out of that bed by his fucking ear.

Boris at his return to work interview pic.twitter.com/iYhgCkJUCG

— Guybrush Tweetgood (@Gordopolitz) April 9, 2020

Dig deep, friends.

Even worse than the proposed ‘whip round’ for Dominic Grieve pic.twitter.com/ZCpYVQDu7s

— Sophia (@final__girl) April 9, 2020

yes now more than ever what we must do is spend four figures on some fucking cufflinks

Starting a rival one to see if we can raise six grand for Dignitas.

irl lol

same

He dead yet?

Apparently he was engaging positively with his scrotum yesterday whilst gargling blood and shitting his kecks

Either he's much worse than is being claimed OR he thinks that Dominic Raab is too stupid and unreliable to be running the country properly in his absence and therefore the less he knows the better.

He is now out of ICU and will almost certainly live to tell the tale.

"get up yer bastard, there's nowt wrong with thee!"

RIP

UPDATE: British PM Johnson has been moved out of ICU.

"The Prime Minister has been moved this evening from intensive care back to the ward, where he will receive close monitoring during the early phase of his recovery,” Downing Street says.

— NBC News (@NBCNews) April 9, 2020

You win some, you lose some.

can’t believe they misspelled ‘morgue’ as ‘ward’ ffs

There's still tomorrow, you never know.

great revive

ffs

I suspect the enforced mourning will be prolonged indefinitely regardless

These threads never work I blame shakey

nothing good comes from putting the death cart before the horse. When will you ppl learn!

shakey is a psy op

Was he actually ill or was it aristocratic japes and tomfoolery?

i don’t believe shakey was ill, no

Ey I cannae believe that they put him in some brandy barrels. He must really be worse Dan I say . https://t.co/fOwMQOdVL2

— RobertoPesto (@PestoRoberto) April 9, 2020

Johnson never had the rona
merely 5g morgellons

hoping for a reverse Jesus this weekend

Was he actually ill or was it aristocratic japes and tomfoolery?

I don't believe it's the case at all, but it would really be something if he ducked out of the spotlight for a week or so to avoid scrutiny, ended up being taken to hospital and having to play along, then had to spend several days surrounded by poor bastards dying on ventilators while inevitably picking up the virus for real himself.

I mean he looked pretty fucking ill before they hauled him in, not that he doesn't usually mind. Still time for a relapse by the way folks #fatchance

‘It Was, For, Uh, Medical Reasons,’ Says Doctor To Boris Johnson, Explaining Why They Had To Give Him Haircut https://t.co/WzKHHwqENf pic.twitter.com/DIj9lAkN6q

— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 9, 2020

The fat fuck is not only not dead he is out and posting video messages.

At least his forthcoming child will get to know his father, unusually