cringe examples of companies attempting to act 'hip' - a compendium

my company still overuses the word "swag" to describe any company merchandise, like it's 12 years ago.

then there's this: https://www.thedailybeast.com/matt-damons-viral-crypto-ad-is-an-embarrassing-cash-grab

https://www.giantartists.com/images/pics/vanschelven-commercial-smirnoff-hipster-2021-004.jpg

I sometimes wonder if any Jimmy John's employee has ever felt like a rockstar simply because their employer refers to them as such.

I'm sure he feels like a rockstar every time he kills an endangered animal then takes a picture of it

https://twitter.com/brandssayingbae

A friend of a friend works for the social media department of a concert ticketing company, and she told me they’ve sent out a list of fandom nicknames ("little monsters", etc.) for the agents to use when interacting with fans on Twitter to make them seem more “with-it”.

Harsh realm, lamestain.

when Disney released its Disney Adventures magazine, it had a 'slang' section in each issue.

I was a complete nerd at the time and being bullied, so I'd read that section and try to use the vocab, only to get made fun of as it was slang nobody in their right mind used, cos the Disney writers were all over-the-hill dorks getting played by kids.

they did list "cool beans" which was and still is a saying, but they also had nonsense like "stupid large" which I never heard in the wild and even googling today just find references to products that are "stupid large" in size, which wasn't the definition.

so thanks Disney you got me beat up.

because you were large stupid

I just listened to a podcast about the Katie Holmes film Disturbing Behavior (1998) and I guess they invented a whole cringe slang: 'microgeeks,' 'binny' and anything cool is 'razor'.. "Oh my god, that's so razor..."

Was imagining a writers' round table where they came up with this shit

xp haven't thought about Disney Adventures in a loooong time. I do remember buying it for the first time at the supermarket checkout counter, Rick Moranis was on the cover. I suppose if I could go back and look at an issue it would be, what, 90% just marketing Disney properties? 95%?

they ran 8pp of Jeff Smith's Bone at least four issues in a row once, that might have been more than 5% those months.

Wonder no more! Archive.org has a number of ’90s issues.

well there goes the rest of my afternoon