THE BUSTED WINDOW OF CONTENTION WON'T STAY OPEN: THE NHL 2023-2024 SEASON THRED (INC KNIGHTS HANGOVER & PANIC MOVES. HOCKEY IS THE BEST)

Salary caps suck

lol

We have placed defenseman Tony DeAngelo on unconditional waivers.

— Philadelphia Flyers (@NHLFlyers) July 14, 2023

happy retirement to Thomas Greiss

did not expect Jarry to sign with the Pens long term - he was not good the few times I saw him play this year

my understanding is that they had limited options and considered him the least-bad one. certainly the fans aren’t thrilled about it

Oppenheimer is the 2nd consecutive Christopher Nolan movie to feature a prominent cameo by former New York Rangers forward Sean Avery. this is very strange and important to me.

— david ehrlich (@davidehrlich) July 18, 2023

Loled at this

Can confirm Phil Kessel's day with the Stanley Cup was today.

And once again, he had it in Toronto.

What a legend.

— Nick Alberga (@thegoldenmuzzy) July 19, 2023

VGK Phil Kessel keeps it relatively quiet (except for the birthday party 🙂) after his 3rd Cup victory. BTW, there were no hot dogs. (Toronto, ON). #StanleyCup @GoldenKnights @NHL @HockeyHallFame pic.twitter.com/DBNBkgfOOu

— Philip Pritchard (@keeperofthecup) July 19, 2023

3 cups since 2016, wonder if that's the most in the time period

pat maroon won three in a row from 2019-2021 with the blues and lightning

https://theathletic.com/4716841/2023/07/25/patrice-bergeron-retirement-bruins/

Bergeron, done

RIP Perfection

Not to drag you into this cesspool, but there's now a hockey Immaculate Grid:

https://www.immaculategrid.com/hockey

I got 6/9 on today's Original Six-only grid...which was kind of a miracle.

Start flinging Sutters in there and see what happens

wanna see how many days in a row i can use jagr

today's grid really points out the ridiculousness of ~winnipeg jets franchise history~

no one cares about the sanctity of coyotes/thrashers records! give the old jets back to the new jets

seems like a lot of money/term for tom wilson, but when you find a guy who can score some goals *and* injure opponents you need to lock that down

Last week I looked at the 10 worst contracts in hockey.
Tom Wilson's new deal would've ranked fifth.https://t.co/2e7gUHw28i pic.twitter.com/B3qUxsfzr3

— dom 📈 (@domluszczyszyn) August 4, 2023

*points at thread title like Buck Turgidson*

https://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/hellseethebigboard_drstrangelove1.png

I think only a caps fan could love tom wilson so probably all for the better for us lowercase folks

pretty pleased by this trade for the penguins

- brought in a 100-point right-handed defenseman
- dumped two of hextall’s worst acquisitions (granlund, petry)
- gained $3m in cap space?!?!

incredible for the habs too

so i guess that means the sharks lose? :(

Good trade on the books for PIT, but they are still incredibly old and top heavy (as befitting a 3-time champion refusing to tear it down).

oh, absolutely. but if you're gonna go for one last ride there's no point in doing it halfheartedly

btw sid turns 36 today ffs

Rip Rick Jeanneret

https://theathletic.com/4786304/2023/08/17/rick-jeanneret-nhl-obituary/

aww

MAY DAY

Ah, that sucks, always kinda felt like the Sabres were my second team

classic babcock

loooooool babcock out

do kind of hate bissonette being proved right tho

Biz is a major league chode, but this was one helluva scoop by him. CBJ is a super young team, Babs thought he could pull his old stunts with them, and instantly lost their trust. The team will be better off without him, and I don't think he'll ever coach in the NHL again. He's a bully.

Babcock departs with the fourth-best win percentage in Blue Jackets franchise history.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F6Zif8JW4AAO8ph.jpg:small

Sheesh.

TIL modano never busted 100 pts in a season

haha same

it's a great day for hockey

He is so smol

secondary assist for his first point, just like he'd always dreamed

off to a great start

I don't know that I hate ESPN showing a little graphic with the puck carrier's name, but it's very video game-y. Were they doing this last season?

this is not how I expected the first Canucks game to go

guys the sharks are 0-10-1

they have scored 12 goals and allowed 55

Shorks

Back where they belong

20 goals against in the last two games

what if they never win a game

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/second-former-blackhawks-player-makes-210303411.html

Absolute fucking garbage organization. In a just world they'd have their 2010 Cup vacated, Bedard removed from the team and sent to Anaheim and lost their right to playoffs and Top 10 draft picks for the next decade. Hell, even better if the organization was dissolved entirely, right down to their racist ass logo, but I know that's not going to happen.

jvc otm

oilers in disarray

at least they made it nearly as painful as possible

Sigh. That was a beautiful goal, and also kind of fluky to get such a perfect carom. But the announcer called it a hometown goal, that the puck was intentionally placed to get exactly that carom, so I'll defer to him. Sorry to all the Leafs fans here. I was all set to send a gloating email to those guys I bowl with.

That was 100% a set play

MAPLE LEAFS
MODEL OF
CONSISTENCY

i'm gonna need the rangers to lose a fucking game

(not that i don't appreciate pittsburgh's own vincent trocheck)

End of bos/fla game 2 is tiresome

good luck vancouver

xp yeah it's absurd but also those are two teams i don't mind getting punched

this Canucks team is unbelievable

god bless them

wow, bruins didn't even bother cheap-shotting ppl much in the third tonight

symsy how are you doing

(fwiw i wrote that before the goal, sorry)

that was another intense one. canucks are not capable of playing a normal playoff game

the McD breakaway goal was a beauty. too bad he's allowed to high stick canucks with impunity.

oilers are such a one-line team, but their best line can still dominate half the game. hard to see it working against colorado or dallas.

was having steve nash flashbacks when quinn hughes was sent to the bench for bleeding from the uncalled high stick

From the glory days:

https://toronto.ctvnews.ca/ron-ellis-who-played-over-1-000-games-with-maple-leafs-dead-at-79-1.6883241

well at least the fucking rangers finally lost a game

after multiple slow motion/freeze-frame looks at that hit the other night, a new angle shows sam bennett absolutely sucker-punched brad marchand

🚨 New angle just dropped of Sam Bennett punching Marchand in the face 🚨 pic.twitter.com/fL8dNXWeR7

— Spittin' Chiclets (@spittinchiclets) May 12, 2024

otoh, marchand punches people an awful lot (if mostly after the whistle), so i can't say i feel too bad

at any rate this whole thing barely fired up the bruins for one period before they got completely outclassed

also

BROCK BOESER

― mookieproof, Sunday, April 28, 2024 8:03 PM (two weeks ago)

fuuuuck marchand forevs

this sort of stuff needs to be run out of the game. HOWEVER maybe marchand's nose will be straight after that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2eZiRrqes8

canucks still incapable of playing a normal game

intersting article on goalie positioning (athletic/nyt; sorry, not sure how to make an athletic gift link):

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5493020/2024/05/15/nhl-goalies-lundqvist-rvh

actually, maybe try this https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5493020/2024/05/15/nhl-goalies-lundqvist-rvh/?source=emp_shared_article

disappointing

Canes really got all our hopes up for a second

no one should so badly blow a 3-1 third-period lead (leafs excluded) at home but carolina is a team explicitly built to *not* do that

oh yeah they’ll be thinking about that for awhile during the offseason

omg

picked a pretty good game to go to!

Canucks overcame some truly atrocious reffing

good luck sym

pucks to the net, boys

rip

those last few minutes...

what a fun team. I hope all the Oilers die in a fire

possible cup winners ranked:

preferred: edmonton
manageable: dallas
if we must: florida
never in this life or any other: rangers

agree

no time, no space

let's gooooooo

i'm tired

you can sleep now

i did!

boo

lafreniere's second goal today was a beauty

and then trouba (shocking, i know) threw a flying elbow to the head and only got two for it. that guy is a menace

kreider and zibinejad finally on the scoresheet, but alas, to no avail ;_;

took a while but lafreniere has become a beast

Both series could go either way. Come on Panthers.