another self indulgent god rant.

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I met with the lds bishop on Tuesday, and then the stake president on Wednesday.
After meeting with the bishop I got loaded, and I stormed out of the meeting with the stake president, calling his religion bullshit, and telling him to fuck it.

Glenys had friends over when I called her, and she asked if they remembered me, and they replied the gay catholic in the pink shirt.

On the day of Our Lady of Guadeloupe, they prayed for “unborn children” rather then those born and hungry, and the fathers and mothers and communities that work towards feeding those who are hungry.

That quiz I took with twenty-five results and each of them not much different from the last.

I was told that I could not receive the gifts of the Holy Ghost, and I am in awe of this world.

God is cruel, and Christ was not the pleasant man we like to imagine and the dependence on both of them as opposed to any other person, as opposed to family and friends suggests he is less then confident.

I am taking a Christian scripture course in the winter, and everyone is so sure of the glories of their god, of their view of god, and me-well I am not even sure I want god around, I am not even sure god exists.

I’m over my nostalgia for the lds church.
I’m tired of the internecine fighting of protestant denominations.
I don’t want to think about catholic churches history and misery.
I don’t want to part of a world where stoning someone for adultery is a good idea, or excommunicating them, shunning them, shaming them.

I have begun to think that religion causes nothing but discord and sorrow.
I want to reject god.

I find myself angry at the cruelty and capriciousness of the lord, or those who call in the lord’s name, and what mailer said about the Shoah and God has come to my head

He told that b/c of the Shoah, b/c of the horrors of man, that there were tow options, either that god was not omnipotent or if he was, then he didn’t care.

It seems such a cliché to be an atheist b/c you cannot reconcile suffering, but I have become exhausted from seeing suffering as a good thing, as a spiritual exercise.

I want the soul to reside in the belly, and not in the head.
There are people who think that all of their blessings come from god and all there curses come from Satan, I don’t want to believe that.

I want to believe that we conquer our animal natures out of necessity
I want to believe that to be human is to conquer our desire towards hatred and anger and violence not because god thinks it’s a good idea, but b/c it is the only thing that makes us human.

I want to tell god, if he exists, if he is alive, to fuck off.
But I cannot seem to do that; he haunts me, like a bad habit, like a craving, like a compulsion,

The Holy Ghost as a specter found in English manors, the guardian angel as stalker.

Leave me alone.
My lord, my god, forsakes me.

And the followers of the lord let my lie.

anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 19 December 2002 23:31 (twenty-three years ago)

What you say!!

, Thursday, 19 December 2002 23:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Apart from the stuff about believing in god, I'm with you all the way on a lot of this, especially this:

I want to believe that we conquer our animal natures out of necessity. I want to believe that to be human is to conquer our desire towards hatred and anger and violence not because god thinks it’s a good idea, but b/c it is the only thing that makes us human.

It's the bad thing about religion, ignoring for a moment any questions of truth. It credits someone else with the good things. It allows us to put dumb labels like 'sent to test us' or 'work of the devil' on trouble or evil, stepping aside from thinking about it properly, let alone doing anything. It stops some from even aspiring too highly as a human. I recommend Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials for lots more good stuff on this theme.

I know we're a long way apart, but you know my email any time you want to talk.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 19 December 2002 23:52 (twenty-three years ago)

don't confuse god with the lds church

try to set aside everything you think you know about god for an open mind and a new experience

i don't think we're that far apart at all and you're welcome to write anytime

dan (dan), Friday, 20 December 2002 00:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I think that Christianity's insistence that we focus maniacally on God leads to a lot of overthinking: it sounds like what you might want to do is live your life as you see fit, and see if God invites Himself back in or not.

I'd investigate non-Christian religions, but that's just me & I don't want to preach or nothin'

J0hn Darni3ll3 (J0hn Darni3ll3), Friday, 20 December 2002 01:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Religion is made by man. Ergo, it is bullshit. I cannot personally fathom believing in a religion that, using the example you gave Anthony, would maniacally focus on the unborn while foresaking the born.

Just step back. They're in it for the money anyway. Take a break from it all and eventually you will work out what is right for you. DON'T try to live by their rules because they AREN'T god's rules.

Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 20 December 2002 01:16 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...
Even assuming that basic tenets of Christianity/LDS are true, they were expressed by humans and therefore by definition suspect in their current form. Don't assume that any church has all the answers; anyone trying to sell that to you doesn't understand their own faith and is hiding behind the certainty as a shield against thinking about it.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:07 (twenty-three years ago)

For me much of the original post is true, but also it is not what Christianity really is. I'm under the belief that much of the so-called Christians are much farther from being true Chrisitans then the whores, murderers, etc. When "Religion is made by man ... it is bullshit." Real Christianity is not man made.

"try to set aside everything you think you know about god for an open mind and a new experience"

This is good advice for the people who "want to tell god, if he exists, if he is alive, to fuck off."


"It credits someone else with the good things. It allows us to put dumb labels like 'sent to test us' or 'work of the devil' on trouble or evil, stepping aside from thinking about it properly, let alone doing anything. It stops some from even aspiring too highly as a human."

I would ask you what good is credit to you? How can you think about trouble/evil properly with no set moral standards provided by Christianity. Similarly how can you do something with out knowing what is good to do?
How could Chistianity stop you from aspiring too highly? It does the exact opposite.

Again it sounds like you are discribing non-Christians who pose as Christians.

A Nairn (moretap), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 06:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I believe in an entity that you may refer to as "God", and that every physical molecule of Universe exists like a cell in It's body, every lifeform's will like the actions of cells in a great Being.

Of course, I also believe time is a cycle and not linear, who's gonna listen to a kook like me?

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 20:35 (twenty-three years ago)

once again, its some kind of 'God' that gets the blame and not just PEOPLE...i can't stand that attitude. Your problem is with these bogus Christians, and not the God THEY worship or the God you're questioning the existence of...

of course if everyone decided to prioritise the positive elements of EVERY religion (tolerance, respect, understanding, love) out there instead of focussing on the dubious, negative elements (everything else) then we'd be a lot better off. I suppose that would be more of a philosophy and code of social conduct rather than a 'religion' - but thats partly what religion is supposed to be/mean.

stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 20:48 (twenty-three years ago)


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