Predicitions for 2003

Women become more like mice

People forget how to samba

Turns out it's made of lego.

I think Dick Cheney is going to be the puppet leader installed in Iraq.

I am also looking forward to the headline "New York Hipsters Run Out Of Retro!" I am not complaining about retro or hipsters, I just think this is funny.

- The promised referendum on the Euro gets buried.

- The US and UK go to war against Iraq (doh!)

Also, a number of shitty bands will reunite. Maybe some good ones, too.

After the Trafalgar Square terrorist attack, Tony Blair is named in a class action by the families of the bereaved.

There are quite a few lawsuits that McDonalds has faced. I think it won one against an 'I got fat' claimant the other day. You can read about some of them here.

Jel, that's not a prediction....but a certainty.

Other predictions?

-Doctors begin to clone breast implants for mice
-J. Lo finally explodes when she is pushed into sharp needles.
-Someone finally tosses Louis Waterman and Simon Cowell off a cliff.
-The monarchy disintegrates at the moment of Queen Elizabeth's demise.
-Originality becomes a worthy commodity, once again.
-

hmmm... Lee Harvey??

Possibly.

this made me have a dream last night that 50 cent was white and patriotic

All I can think of are dire and probable personal predictions, and dire and probable mass death war type ones.

momus, you will win the Nobel.

A Sleater-Kinney side project (a Spells full-length? the Heavens to Betsy reunion record?) will make every whiteboyrockcrit's top 10, thus absolving the rockcrit world from accusations of sexism for the eighth straight year.

AOL Time Warner will sell the Atlanta Braves to Ted Turner, who will go into hospital once the team fails to beat the Phillies in the NLDS.

The Donnas will release an EP called "The Donnas Want To Fuck You." It won't sell, either.

A game for Playstation called "Club XXXTreme" will be released. The player is the manager of a strip club, and can beat up his dancers, get them hooked on blow, and finagle "afterhours fun" for them for points. The 15-CD box set of the soundtrack, thanks to an exclusive single by Snoop Dogg featuring Christina Aguilera, will go platinum.

The unemployment benefits in the US will not be extended after corporate interests successfully lobby Bush that doing so would be akin to a "tax on companies." Taxes on those making under $12K will be raised while the Bush tax cut will pass.

The US will continue to blunder its way through foreign policy on all sides of the globe, although news reports will continue to lead with the latest gossip about how much the "Friends" characters are making.

Odds on a repeat performance of a Bush puking on a Japanese foreign minister are unavailable at this time.

Limp Bizkit releases an even more dumbed-down version of their already dumbed-down sound, and many American youths stop speaking English altogether in favor of a new language made up entirely of the words "fuck", "shit", and "bitch", interspersed with grunts and heavy fat-person breathing.

Bin Laden stays in hiding. He won't strike again 'til right before the '04 elections, I guaranfuckintee.

The first-cloned human dies before her first birthday of kidney failure, and the Raelians are made to look like the fools they are. However, due to the media's spin on words, they take the Raelians failure and turn it into an oft-repeated propaghanda slogan versus the humans-might-be-of-extra-terrestrial-origins theory, even though many people who have helped to form this theory were very sane and intelligent.

Designers are showing miniskirts for spring/summer 2003, but they will be a commercial flop because of continuing economic uncertainty and the increasing number of older and/or plus-size women, whom the garment industry continues to underserve.

Britney will release a new album, but it will be a flop compared to her previous releases. Interviews in which she hints at having a yen for Pink or Xtina will become only joke/masturbation fodder.

obv you missed all the discussions over whether or not there would be an '03'-04 season. or maybe i'm just unlucky.