To all the girls I loved before

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what do you think of your old boy/girl friends? as in, do you think they are a shower of two-timing wasters you should never have lowered yourself into associate with? or do you think they're all kind of nice in their own way and while you're glad you aren't involved with them anymore they were right for you at the time?

Or do you pathetically wish you could get back together with them?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 30 December 2002 11:11 (twenty-three years ago)

None of the above actually.

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 30 December 2002 11:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I still pathetically want my first boyfriend to see me in the street and think "Oh God! I let her go and now she'll never be mine!" We only broke up eight years ago, so I imagine I will grow out of this phase in time.
I see another ex around with his new girlfriend and think that going out with her is suitable punishment for being mean to me.

― Madeleine (Madeleine), Monday, 30 December 2002 11:37 (twenty-three years ago)

i still like all of them.

― minna (minna), Monday, 30 December 2002 12:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Quite a dangerous thread for some people, this. My ex (who will almost certainly read this) is a complete star whose friendship I hugely enjoy. It was right for us to break up, and right for us to stay friends. Hurrah!

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 30 December 2002 12:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I hate them all!!!!! Not true, I've seen old high school girlfriends every year around the holidays at various bars and what not. We talk and I don't hate them. Haven't seen any of my girlfriends from college, and if I did i doubt I would be civil to the one bitch that broke my heart. For some reason I still harbor an enormous amount of hate for something that happened 9 years ago.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 30 December 2002 12:58 (twenty-three years ago)

i still like all of them

me too. which means all two of them.

― erik, Monday, 30 December 2002 13:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Kind of depends on which ex, doesn't it? Most of them are perfectly nice people who just didn't work out for one reason or other, but then there are a couple of people who should be condemned to being locked in a room watching Pauly Shore movies.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 30 December 2002 13:07 (twenty-three years ago)

I wish they'd do a Where Are they Now? episode on all my ex-boyfriends. Uh, not that I got around alot... just curious. I have gone out with some real jerks, but also I was alot younger then and I was immature too... But I never see any exes at all, so I'm never really confronted with how I feel about them.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 30 December 2002 13:27 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm still on good terms with everyone I've dated for more than like a week. They are almost all among my absolute favorite people.

― Douglas (Douglas), Monday, 30 December 2002 14:49 (twenty-three years ago)

That's cool. I've never been able to stay friends with an ex, which always annoyed me.

But I never see my exes at all. I share that curiosity about what they're doing now...

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 30 December 2002 15:36 (twenty-three years ago)

i am friends with some of my exes. there is one who can fuck off, die, etc, but most of them are fine.

― maura (maura), Monday, 30 December 2002 15:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I want them all back. At once. Like the harem sequence from 8 1/2. But everything looks worse in black & white.

― jm (jtm), Monday, 30 December 2002 15:59 (twenty-three years ago)

All my previous relationships were very brief, and I either don't see the girls in question, or am not on speaking terms with them, sadly. My girlfriend is actually an ex of sorts. We had a sort of semi-official, two-week relationship a few months before we actually started going out properly. We stayed on good terms after that, and subsequently started going out again, hooray!

One ex of mine recently told a mutual friend of ours that I was the only of her exes that she liked, which was very flattering. Contact with her has been minimal, having said this.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 30 December 2002 16:59 (twenty-three years ago)

There was only one that mattered, and despite breaking up a year and a half ago, I think about him all the time. Here I go again. Despite us being really good friends, after the breakup I couldn't just pal around with him, it was too painful. He moved to New York and I'm sure I'll never hear from him again. I wish we had never broken up but I don't wish we could get back together.

― Sean (Sean), Monday, 30 December 2002 17:29 (twenty-three years ago)

range from mild 'wouldn't cross the road 2 spit on him' to 'would walk across town in the pouring rain 2 punch him.' most produce sulks at the very mention. only 2 i am anything approaching friendly with - one because i'm still half in love with, and we didn't date 4 very long, so i still idolise him. other we were always more like friends.

don't really understand how people can friend after. but my relationships tend 2 be as much based on hatred as love. curious.

― masonicboom, Monday, 30 December 2002 17:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Im on good terms with all of them except the one who dumped me for Jesus. Even the one who screwed me over endlessly, now she is no where near my friends and seems to be drinking less is alright.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 30 December 2002 18:28 (twenty-three years ago)

One of my close friends is near-obsessive about staying on good terms with all his exes - I suppose it's healthy practice, but I've yet to emerge from a relationship where it makes sense to pursue a friendship.

I rarely speak to/see any of the girls whom I casually dated or had a passing (re: six weeks or less) relationship with. After that, there are really only two long-term ones left to speak of. The one from high school (close to two years) calls me on occasion, and we've met up a few times, but I don't have much desire to see her anymore. The other one (close to three years, very serious) was a more recent breakup. We often make overtures to friendship, but it's very difficult to be around her on those terms, so I can't imagine we'll stay close either...

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 30 December 2002 18:41 (twenty-three years ago)

The woman I was married to for 23 years behaved appallingly to me in our final months, so it's hard to like her now. Otherwise, only good feelings and memories.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 30 December 2002 18:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Like them all quite a bit although the most recent one is too soon gone to make a judgment. Considering how things went at the end though I doubt he'll end up on my "fond memories and warm feelings" list.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 30 December 2002 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I recently got back in touch with first girlfriend who is doing very well (we broke up at the same time that she developed severe bipolar disorder... fun!). Second serious girlfriend has become famous and even though we broke up 4 years ago it's hard to forget her when she's mentioned in the NME. The funny thing is, you'd think I'd be all like, "yeaaaaah I hit that," or whatever, but really the whole situation still makes me a bit sick. Maybe it's a guy thing. Girlfriend after that moved to New York but I just tracked her down a couple days ago and got a brief email. Most of the other girls I've been involved with live far away or I cringe when I see them in public.

― Aaron W, Monday, 30 December 2002 19:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Never had a really bad falling out and I still really like/fancy (the ones I still see)/think fondly of (the one's I don't) them all.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Monday, 30 December 2002 20:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I like them all, the ones that are alive. I only hang out with one of them regularly, though. I don't want to get back together with any of them. At least not the ones that are still alive.

― McBummer! (Arthur), Monday, 30 December 2002 21:38 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm dating my ex. which i guess makes him no longer an ex.

― Melissa Maerz (Melissa Maerz), Monday, 30 December 2002 22:58 (twenty-three years ago)

2 of my best friends are exes
friendly acquaintances with another
still playing the Long Game with another
on speaking terms with a couple others
and one whom I'm cleaning out of my closet of useless relationships.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 00:29 (twenty-three years ago)

One ex-serious girlfriend I have a fair amount of hate for, but have a hunch this might just be reflexive. Although really, if I later realized that we having nothing in common and that I want nothing to do with her, why am I still angry at her for leaving me?

With another, we broke up a couple of times and remained friends because we liked each other so much and are now back together and doing great. I am still very dubious of my ability to remain friends with an ex (and have them stay an ex).

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 00:51 (twenty-three years ago)

I kind of wish I could get back together with another ex, one with whom I didn't have much in common and didn't even get along with that well (he was always falling into depressions and acting out, I actually got along with him fine) simply because I'm so lonely and need someone around to go to dinner with, see a movie with, cuddle with, etc. Oh yeah, etc. I know this is a bad idea though.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 01:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't see any of them around very much really. I'd say hello and have a chat with all of them, see how they are doing and stuff, even the one that used to knock me around coz I have no hate for him. There is only one I don't speak to and we had a good friendship for years after we broke up then sudenly last year he went major psycho, so I smile and then cross the road when I see him!

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 03:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Generally nonexistent relationships with past boyfriends.

There's one guy who I could probably hang out with him if I asked him to. There's another guy who, after we broke up, I had a very vexed relationship even before he found out he was HIV+. (I'm fine, thanks.) And there is one guy I'd like to see again. We were seeing each other this summer and I thought we were really simpatico but he just flat-out *stopped* recognizing my existence and I have no idea why. He's a blogger and he's posted pics of himself lately -- he's lost a little weight and grown odd facial hair and it's driving. me. NUTS!

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 03:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Most of mine are insane, to be honest. Between the one who ate my lipstick, the one who tried to drink himself to death, and the one who threatened to kill me, I basically got a big huge galleria of losers. Some people I've slept with are perfectly nice and normal though. Honestly.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 03:56 (twenty-three years ago)

with the exception of one mine are harmless. perhaps on some other board they are saying I am insane. . .

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 03:58 (twenty-three years ago)

My exes collectively...mostly harmless. Most of them have dropped out of my life (with one big exception), which is definitely sad but convenient for me. (That big exception calls me every few years and asks if I'd consider being friends again, but that rupture hurt so much that I really don't want anything to do with him.)

The men who I would like to see disappear are the ones on whom I had big crushes that didn't lead to anything...especially in the cases where I worked with the man in question. In those days I went through some psychotic phases. I suppose I ought to be grateful that I never did anything that would have caused the Feds to throw me into St. Elizabeth's next to John Hinckley.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 04:09 (twenty-three years ago)

no longer in contact with many of them, due mostly to circumstance beyond my control. the most recent is absolutely one of my closest friends. I'm in touch with one in Seattle; we talk every couple months. I saw the last woman I dated in Minneapolis when I was back there recently (she still works at the same place, where I also worked for a time) and we talked for a few minutes, which was nice. since she and I had the worst breakup (full disclosure: this was 100% my fault, I was very callow at 23), that probably bodes well for any of the others I might run into along the way.

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 1 January 2003 05:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Most boys of my life have dropped out of my life, and that's okay with me. Mind you, there are a few that I wouldn't mind beating up.

― rosemary@ Mary's (Mary), Wednesday, 1 January 2003 05:19 (twenty-three years ago)

i only have one ex that i was involved with for long enough to care about. and since his gf reads this borad, i can't really say anything. suffice it to say that it didn't work out, and i wish them the best.

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 1 January 2003 10:21 (twenty-three years ago)

nah everyone i went out with sux. of course they fucking do! no-one is perfect, so how could they be with me?

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 1 January 2003 10:48 (twenty-three years ago)

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