Do pee-yoos (that's Parental Units) inherently deserve respect from their children?

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Assuming that some certain set of parents meet arbitrarily defined parameters that qualify them as proper parents (as opposed to horrible monsters), are their children obliged to give them respect as one would give to a like authority figure (again assuming that said offspring are not going through the mandatory rebellion phase in which they bristle at any patriarchal figure)? Or compare: in "Lisa's Substitute" (7F19), the titular character participates in verbal donnybrook with simian-inflected father, and though he never (re?)gains her respect, they manage a reconciliation that avoids the vocabulary revolving around respect, replaced instead with a different (deeper?) bond free from hierarchical power struggles?

Simply put, is it "good"/ideal for a child/parent relationship to not be based on the respect that you'd give to a peer?

― Leee, Tuesday, 31 December 2002 09:50 (twenty-three years ago)

simply put, no. but i'm rather peeved at my parents right now...

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 17:29 (twenty-three years ago)

This seems like a somewhat confused question. For me, respect attaches to a person by virtue of their actions.

Parental units do not act as "proper parents" because they have some little motor inside them that starts up when a child is born and drives a 'proper parenting' crank. They perform all those feats of parenting through working at it, through willing themselves to make it happen, often through sacrifice. For that reason, it makes sense to me to credit them according to the merits of their actions, exactly the same as you would credit a stranger who did the same toward you.

By the same token, they do not deserve added respect when their actions are thoughtless, unfair, lazy, hurtful or petty. Just weigh the benefits they have given you against the harm they have done, and give them their due. That's only just.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 31 December 2002 19:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I would think not. But I've never been fond of those "everyone is great on some level" statements. Getting knocked up/knocking someone up does not seem to me an action worthy of any special sort of respect. I'd tend to judge my parents by the same standards as any other person when deciding who is deserving of some form of respect, beyond that of being recognized as a human being.

― , Tuesday, 31 December 2002 20:20 (twenty-three years ago)

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