"It was great to have Joe Strummer back, even if he sold 'London Calling' to Jaguar. Now he's gone, reminding us that rock doesn't matter anymore"

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Further proof that contemporary rock criticism renders parody redundant.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:16 (twenty-two years ago) link

Six months after "rock is back," rock is dead again! You heard it here first.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ha! I'm starting to become convinced that Salon uses some Mad Libs-stylee template to write these by-the-numbers music borefests. "Insert comment about how nothing really 'matters' anymore!" "Insert tired quote from Lester Bangs!" "Random G Marcus quote!" "Oh yeah fit in Billy Bragg in there somewhere!"

― geeta (geeta), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:37 (twenty-two years ago) link

"The difference between rock and pop is that rock keeps dying and coming back, while pop goes on forever" — thus spake one of the pretty kids in Westlife, almost exactly 12 months ago.

Or was it Boyzone? Either way, I love it.

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:38 (twenty-two years ago) link

he is correct, excellent quote

― gareth (gareth), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago) link

But doesn't that make rock a reheated zombie, becoming more decripid with each faux ressurection?

WHilst Pop is Ursula Andress in She!!!

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:43 (twenty-two years ago) link

omg mark is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs*

― geeta (geeta), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:43 (twenty-two years ago) link

Reheated zombie is good but there must be other analogies out there!!

s trife: "the only thing punk rock did was make more bad punk rock!!"

― geeta (geeta), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:45 (twenty-two years ago) link

I <3 Ethan

― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago) link

You are less than Ethan's boobs?

― Whazzit (amateurist), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:48 (twenty-two years ago) link

I am less than any part of his body

― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 3 January 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago) link

"The difference between rock and pop is that rock keeps dying and coming back, while pop goes on forever" --> ergo, rock is a DEFECTIVE version of pop.

I'm mystified by the reference to "the band's love of Situationist slogans."

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 3 January 2003 12:02 (twenty-two years ago) link

"watching the defectives" = why punk matters

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 3 January 2003 12:11 (twenty-two years ago) link

well, he is right that Strummer's death was one of the worst things that could have happened to music. Music writing, that is. It means that for God knows how long, the public will continue to be subjected to rants like that one

― geeta (geeta), Friday, 3 January 2003 12:12 (twenty-two years ago) link

Rock writing died when I began reading that piece and was reborn when I ended it.

― Momus (Momus), Friday, 3 January 2003 12:22 (twenty-two years ago) link

s trife: "the only thing punk rock did was make more bad punk rock!!"

What about the Cold Crush Brothers' "Punk Rock Rap"?!?!

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Friday, 3 January 2003 12:25 (twenty-two years ago) link

As the music industry collapses under the weight of its own avarice and mediocrity -- not just the suits, but the artists and patrons as well -- the drums of war pound ominously, homeland security reads like Orwell, and the environment is once again available at discount rates. The time is ripe for an artist or group to emerge that actually matters.

Good to see this guy's priorities are in order. "I have recieved a massive head wound. The time is ripe for a new hat."

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 3 January 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago) link

Daddino that was priceless.

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Friday, 3 January 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago) link

s trife: "the only thing punk rock did was make more bad punk rock!!"

Punk rock is over! I'm gonna go to business school and fuck things up from the inside!

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 January 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago) link

however all you reheated zombie haytaz be forgettin' one thing: freshly heated, reheated, or freezing cold, zombies are way cool.

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Friday, 3 January 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago) link

Zombies = not satisfied until they've eaten your brains = not cool

― Amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 3 January 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago) link

i already have a half-constructed theory abt cowboy vampires which links the body on the front of GEER to "the magnificent seven" etc

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 3 January 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago) link

zombies = still not satisfied even after they've eaten your brains = way, way cool.

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Friday, 3 January 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago) link

Best thread of the year. Already! :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 January 2003 15:50 (twenty-two years ago) link

http://www.dvdhouseofhorror.com/dawnzombies.jpg..http://www.greatmodernpictures.com/clash-strummerpointing.jpg

Two roads diverge in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

When took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggghhh Zombies noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Robert Frost (amateurist), Friday, 3 January 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago) link

To prove that language is only a system of pure values, it is enough to consider the three elements involved in its functioning: ideas, sounds, and the zombies who are presently eating my face. Psychologically, our thought — apart from its expression in words — is only a shapeless and indistinct mass, like my face. Philosophers and linguists have always agreed in recognizing that without the help of signs we would be unable to make a clear-cut, consistent distiction between two ideas. Having had one's lips bitten off in mid-sentence complicates matters almost irreparablyEEAHIiatytaheioaa8OIOHkn

― Ferdinand de Saussure (J0hn Darn13ll3), Friday, 3 January 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago) link

The influence of HP Lovecraft on twentieth century writing proven.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 January 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago) link

All your slams are making me want to find SOMETHING to defend in here, and I've found it:

The band's biggest hit, "Rock the Casbah," decried the oil-sponsored madness in the Middle East -- yet wound up as the theme song for American troops smart-bombing overmatched Iraqis during Desert Storm.

This is great stuff here! Whether it's true or not - it's impossible to tell; on headphones? on the bridge? did he conduct interviews with pilots? read an article by someone who did? etc? - doesn't matter, because it's too perfect. But I don't think it's quite the ironic exception to some iron law of punk that it is to our writer; might it be what made the Clash so great, or at least, what allowed them to be so popular, years after breaking up?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 3 January 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago) link

SNARg mmumph crackle rip, munch munch

― ZZZZombie (tracerhand), Friday, 3 January 2003 16:31 (twenty-two years ago) link

Everyone over to the shopping mall thread!

― Amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 3 January 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago) link

One of the steps to Enlightenment: having to meditate in cemeteries on rotting rock criticism in various stages of decomposition.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 3 January 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago) link

Zen, you see.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 3 January 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago) link

Well, it was the first song that was played when our troops were in the Mideast. Wouldn't the theme songs really be "Proud to be an American" (or whatever that song was called)?

Agreed that the piece is a dud. I recently read the essay to accompany the Clash's enshrinement into the Rock Hall of Fame, which was extraordinarily good.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 3 January 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago) link

The band's biggest hit, "Rock the Casbah," decried the oil-sponsored madness in the Middle East

I thought it just lampooned fundamentalism, which yes would make it very ironic considering those fighter planes were taking off from Saudi Arabia.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 3 January 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago) link

Rock never went away or came back; it only did/does in media circles.

What makes rock "matter" anyway, and why does it have to? Rock has never changed anything, and we shouldn't expect it to.

― David Allen, Saturday, 4 January 2003 00:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

bah, yes! *eats grapenuts*

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 4 January 2003 01:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

GOD I miss out on all the fun! now to read the actual article...

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 4 January 2003 06:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

oy.

1. re: headline: when did the law become an aneurysm on your living room couch?
2. this could use a new opening sentence.
3. define "matters," please.
4. "In fact, during their heyday in the late '70s and early '80s, the Clash was often billed as 'the only band that matters.'" which therefore makes it true! (nb I love the Clash)
5. "Strummer...was the heart, conscience and primary lyricist." in that order.
6. nice use of issued public statements like Bragg's to fill in for reporting you didn't bother doing
7. "and/or Terry Chimes"? when the fuck did the Clash have double drummers?
8. "Hammersmith Palais" isn't on the debut album proper. ("But it was Beatles VI that hinted at the group's newfound maturity....")
9. "Even the staid Rolling Stone...." Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, pot.
10. that's it, young man--you are banned from quoting at length.
11. what Tracer said.
12. what Momus said.
13. what Daddino said.
14. oh, what every one of you said (including S Trife; I disagree with it, but in this context it's muy perfecto)

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 4 January 2003 06:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yanc3y, can you link us to the hall of fame piece? (or — how can this be? — maybe it's not on the net)

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 4 January 2003 12:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

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