women and their choice of title.

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this question is for the ladies. i'm wondering how much trouble, if any, that other women have with getting people to refer to them by the title they choose. heres what i mean.

on many application forms, they have those boxes where you get to choose your title: Mr, Ms, Mrs, Miss etc. like a good little feminist, i always tick the Ms box. then i proceed to get letters addressed to "miss" smith. even from university, where they SHOULD know better. the worst was at the airport, looking at my boarding pass to find i was a MRS!!! i had this problem in a more personal way when i worked at a high school, where one of the children was so confused by the term "Ms" that he would call me Mrs Smith. uggh. is there some kind of conspiracy going on here, or are people just ignorant??!!

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:06 (twenty-three years ago)

My sister refuses to tick any box. Which is a good attitude, because titles are pretty daft anyway.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Titles are stupid, but I usually go by Ms. I haven't had much of a problem with people getting it wrong and using Miss or Mrs.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I tick Ms and have done since I was old enough to tick anything - actually, I lie, I alway use crosses, not ticks.

Anyway, Miss, Ms and Mrs all come from the same word anyway. I find it hard to believe than anyone *wants* their marital status to be indicated by their title anyway, I mean, why would you?

I'm surprised that legally they can still put Miss & Mrs on forms anyway, surely it contravenes privacy legislation as it's collecting data that is not relevant to just about anything and it probably contravenes some sort of discrimination legislation as well.

I did hear that a friend of a friend didn't get a job recently because she used Ms as a title and they didn't like that. She is a lawyer. Only lawyers could be that blantantly discriminatory. Cunts.

Anyway, when I first taught in a school I asked my supervisor how the kids would handle Ms as I'd noticed all the other female teachers used Miss or Mrs and she said not to worry about it as the kids call all female teachers Miss anyway (with no surname which is good as mine is nigh near unpronouncable for no good reason). This proved to be true. Actually, it was usually "hey miss". The next school I was at used given names, so much easier.

Anyway, I agree with Jim & his sister.

― toraneko (toraneko), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Oops, I used seven anyways in that post!

― toraneko (toraneko), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:46 (twenty-three years ago)

(I still go by "Master.")

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 16 January 2003 06:30 (twenty-three years ago)

...and servant?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 06:31 (twenty-three years ago)

The first graders where I've been subbing have taken to calling me Ms. B. I tried correcting them, but they're pretty persistent.

― Arthur (Arthur), Thursday, 16 January 2003 07:17 (twenty-three years ago)

is it b/c yr a homo?

― anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 16 January 2003 07:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I've had the Mrs thing a few times too Di. For some reason I found it worse in Germany where I got called Frau four different times in one hotel over the course of a weekend. In that instance I really would have prefered Fraulin.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 16 January 2003 08:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Frau: it's just not a nice word, is it?

Almost as 'good' is 'Madam', or the posh-shops variant 'Modom'. Anyone calling me this in a shop DIES.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 16 January 2003 08:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Exactly. Brings to mind haus frau. Horrible.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 16 January 2003 08:59 (twenty-three years ago)

i kinda like being called "fraulein" but i would

i avoid all the hassle by writing "mr" on all forms

― geeta (geeta), Thursday, 16 January 2003 09:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Are you a boy or a girl, geeta?

― toraneko (toraneko), Thursday, 16 January 2003 09:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Nobody over the age of 14 gets called "Fräulein", except waitresses in Bavaria. It's much more "Little Miss" than "Miss".

Frau Kraus-Meeder is very happy to be called that, and doesn't like "Miss", "Mrs.", or "Ms."

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 16 January 2003 09:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I've always been Ms but my bank (and others) are oblivious to this. I imagine I will remain Ms when I get married. I am a Mrs at the chemist, for some reason.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 January 2003 10:27 (twenty-three years ago)

What exactly does Ms mean though?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 16 January 2003 10:32 (twenty-three years ago)

What is the point of titles again?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 16 January 2003 10:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Lord Chancellor Lord Irving has TOO MANY titles.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 16 January 2003 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Only lawyers could be that blantantly discriminatory. Cunts.

Oy! I take offence at that. What? No I'm not a lawyer, I'm a cunt.

Ahthangyewverymuch.....

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Thursday, 16 January 2003 11:05 (twenty-three years ago)

he should be called sir lord chancellor sir lord irving

― duke duke duke duke of earl (24 hour troubleshooter), Thursday, 16 January 2003 11:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Ms Dynamite - 44,300 search results
Miss Dynamite - 4,200 search results (including rather unforgiveably Radio 1!!)
Mrs Dynamite - 110 search results

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 16 January 2003 12:25 (twenty-three years ago)

there's a nigerian musican called "sir lord warrior"

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 16 January 2003 12:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Little Miss Dynamite : 1,560 results (but they are all about Brenda Lee)

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 16 January 2003 12:29 (twenty-three years ago)

haha toraneko i am a girl!! why does no one understand...

when you're a boy, you can wear a uniform

― geeta, Thursday, 16 January 2003 13:01 (twenty-three years ago)

What exactly does Ms mean though?

What exactly does 'Miss' or 'Mrs' mean? I don't feel more accurately defined by 'Ms', but official documentation often seems scared of simple first names so...

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 January 2003 13:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Ms is an abbreviation of 'mistress', but not in a saucy way. Think Mistress Quickly from Merry Wives/Henry V - a lady who may or may not be married, but who is in a position of some authority and deserves a respectful title.

In Jane Austen terms my (elder) sister is Miss D*plyn, whereas I am Miss Elizabeth D*plyn. A hypothetical younger sister would also have her first name stated. I generally use Ms, but it's kind of arbitrary based on how I'm feeling when I fill in a form. They never take any notice anyhow.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 16 January 2003 13:37 (twenty-three years ago)

is it b/c yr a homo?

No, I think it's because they're very young and they've never had a teacher who wasn't a Ms. And they don't speak English all that well yet. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself.

― Arthur (Arthur), Thursday, 16 January 2003 14:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Ms Miss and Mrs all come from mistress.

I liked Geeta's thing of using Mr until I remembered that to be a good feminist I'm meant to be proud of being female and then I got confused.

― toraneko (toraneko), Thursday, 16 January 2003 14:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Liz? why did you blank out yr surname when it's in your e-mither addy?

― chris (chris), Thursday, 16 January 2003 15:10 (twenty-three years ago)

It is funny, but I think it's cause cockfamers can't harvest email addresses on ILE unless they register and log in.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 16 January 2003 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe it's because I am a fool. But yes, I believe that only logged-in persons can see email addresses. If you aren't registered, it is as though you have been struck in the eye with a red-hot poker. Err.

If anyone is interested enough in engaging in harassment with what is only a temporary address for me to register then fair play to them.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 16 January 2003 15:52 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22elizabeth+daply%22&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Dang! Ho hum, such is life. Previous googling just brought up a photography credit on my college JCR's crap website.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:35 (twenty-three years ago)

That's not by googling you though.

http://www.jeepster.co.uk/belleandsebastian/poetry/images/elizabethd.gif

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Aww - B&S magnetic poetry. I remember that.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:39 (twenty-three years ago)

st hilda's, eh?

― Marcello Carlin (LMH '81-'84), Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Mark S, does Sir Lord Warrior pre-date foundation Jamaican DJ Sir Lord Comic? Other Jamaicans over-lording it include Count Prince Miller.

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Lawks! That magnetic poetry is soooo ancient. Should I be scared by now?

Tim, I think ladies become 'dame' when they're knighted, rather than 'sir'. Heh heh.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:50 (twenty-three years ago)

no need. it is antbony-standard poetry.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:54 (twenty-three years ago)

n.b. that is a very high standard.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm a "miss" because "ms" feels more mature than I er... do...

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 16 January 2003 17:01 (twenty-three years ago)

I've never been clear of the point of these damn words. I remember years ago when my then-wife Jackie and I moved our joint bank account to NatWest. First cheque book comes through with "M & Mrs J Skidmore". She protests to them, quite reasonably, that the assumption that someone is male unless they have a title indicating otherwise is sexist. Can it just be M & J in future? Next one says "Mr M & Mrs J Skidmore". It took a few more calls to get the titles removed completely.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:36 (twenty-three years ago)

We live in an informal society where it is considered perfectly acceptible for strangers to use our first names. It's more acceptible and less problematic to use a first name than a title. If our Victorian ancestors could see this, they'd be turning in their graves.

It's weird because titles and clothes are the only two areas of life where women's choices are far more profuse than men's. So we should keep them. But call me anything but Ms. and you'll get punched.

― kate, Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey you! Dronelover!

(Does that work too?)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:56 (twenty-three years ago)

In the event of great service to my country, I would far rather be called Sir Isadora than Dame. Do you think they'd let me?

― isadora (isadora), Thursday, 16 January 2003 21:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Am I the only one here who hates being called Ms then?
Ms makes me think of women with very nice suits, make up, hair tied up and with very responsible high powered job.
As a T-shirt & jean wearing, pigtailed, girl with a responsible low paid job, who is generally confused by make-up, I'm very happy to remain a Miss for as people will let me.
(I hate "woman" too. I'd rather be a "girl", or "lady". Lady makes me feel squishy inside, it's lovely.)

― Celeste (Celeste), Thursday, 16 January 2003 22:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Martin, she wasn't Mrs J Skidmore though, she was Mrs M Skidmore - as in Mrs Martin Skidmore. That's how Mrs works. Even the bank should have known that.

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 17 January 2003 03:26 (twenty-three years ago)

American: "Can women become knights?"
Englishman: "They're called Dames."
American: "OK, can dames become knights?"

― B.Rad (Brad), Friday, 17 January 2003 03:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I like that joke!

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 17 January 2003 10:07 (twenty-three years ago)

ten years pass...

Didn't realize until reading this thread that there was a substantial difference between Miss and Ms!

― how's life, Friday, 27 December 2013 12:24 (twelve years ago)

My mum just got a letter from the council addressed to "Other El*****th L****r" and beginning "Dear Other L****r". She must have ticked a box on a form at some point, "Mr, Mrs, Miss, Other"...

― Scuse me while I kiss this guy correspondent (ledge), Friday, 27 December 2013 12:29 (twelve years ago)

can we make sure all future gender threads start with This question is for the ladies,

― mustread guy (schlump), Friday, 27 December 2013 12:42 (twelve years ago)

I think there should always be a tick box for "Dr." and this should be one's invariable selection.

― Aimless, Friday, 27 December 2013 17:18 (twelve years ago)

I tend to go for Wing-Commander when given the option.

― Ramnaresh Samhain (ShariVari), Friday, 27 December 2013 19:36 (twelve years ago)

The Arab guy at my corner store calls me 'Captain'. He refers to my gf as 'The Boss' implying that it's a superior title. His instinctual understanding of our interpersonal dynamic is uncanny.

― Le passé, non seulement n'est pas fugace, il reste sur place (Michael White), Friday, 27 December 2013 20:06 (twelve years ago)

i am a mz and i sometimes get a little crazy that ppl in my life willfully ignore it.
FAMILY especially. but then if we talked about all the annoying shit that family does we'd be here all day so mostly i just let it go

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 27 December 2013 21:33 (twelve years ago)

Ms Grrl

― mh, Friday, 27 December 2013 22:33 (twelve years ago)

Veg if you're nasty

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 27 December 2013 22:34 (twelve years ago)

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