stupuid neighbours

seriously, i feel for you - white trash neighbours - DUD. but still middle class neighbours plagued you with bad chatter and then get quiet bitchy.

one time i dropped an ashtray out of the window. he taped a cigarette end, to a note, using his fu manchu logic, worked out that it must have been me. that was our introduction.

we hear them having bad sex in our hallway.

Nicole is, I think, being tested with this plague of horrid coworkers and horrid neighbors. She should build an ivory tower and make her enemies grovel.

I'm literally trembling with rage. We live in an upstairs flat above an italian restaurant and next door to a fairly rough pub. The landlady of said pub is a vicious old bag with an absolutely bullheaded attitude. She claims she is married to a copper and threatens to get him onto us if we so much step out of line with what she wants.

Anyway, this all started a couple of months ago. We put our bins out on Thursday nights and at the request of the pub, we have to put these out after the pub shuts. Fair enough, she's got a business to run. It's still awkward having to put the bins out at 1am, but pffff, anything for a quiet life. Suddenly she's decided that because the small alcove next to our front door is adjacent to her pub, she wants all the rubbish literally right in front of our door. She only told us this new request a couple of months ago after we'd put the bins out as normal, neatly in the alcove to be picked up the next morning. She starts slamming on the door, yelling and screaming with a big bald brute of a man in tow. I don't know exactly what her qualm with the rubbish being in the alcove is.

Anyway, we made a mistake. Because of the Bank holiday, the bins are picked up a day later this week. We put our bins out and left them in the alcove as close to our side of the door as possible. That very night, she got her stuff to not only move all the bin bags, but empty the entire bin onto our doorstep, so that when we left the house this morning, we couldn't even open the door. This is our only real fire exit and it's the only place we can put the bins. So our rubbish is all over the street, flies buzzing round and pestering the italian restaurant, all because we put our rubbish a foot in the wrong direction.

Our landlady doesn't give two shits and says we ought to just inform the police. But this would only antagonise this woman (who is clearly off her trap).

I'm not in the mood for thiskind of abuse though, so what should I do? CAB isn't open till Tuesday morning :-(

I think yr landlady is OTM. What else can you do?

My next door neighbours woke us up yesterday by getting the fire service out (2 fire engines, about 12 firemen) because they could smell solvents in their cellar. Had firemen hammering on the door at 6am demanding to know if we'd been doing something dodgy in our cellar. Went down there and couldn't smell a thing. Turned out they reckoned someone poured some paint down their drain or something. I suppose that's not that stupid because maybe it could have been something worse, I dunno.

My landlord is selling my flat, 3 months after I moved in.

For heaven's sake, call the police. She's clearly nuts, and you'll probably find yr not the only one she's tormenting. Just take the approach that, "Well, I didn't really want to say anything, but..." and let her craziness be apparent to all.

Def. call the police. And maybe visit her with your own thugs.

I won't start on my neighbors right now. It would be a novel.

Call the council as well and complain that she tipped rubbish all over your doorstep, which is illegal dumping. Then move, because that sounds like too much fucking hassle to deal with, and waiting for her to move or die doesn't sound like an option (honestly, this is actually what I would do).

I've called the constabulary and they're getting back to me.

"i gave up work at the start of this year, and all i've done since then is collect packages for you."

no, you've also left messages saying don't ring on the doorbell after six now that you have a baby.

Q. "i gave up work at the start of this year, and all i've done since then is collect packages for you."

A. "you need to do more"

it's really important that she mollycoddles the shit out of her firstborn.

someone up our street stopped me today and complained that my immediate neighbour, who i like, was seen 'picking an unripe citrus fruit that wasn't hers, she probably thought it was a lemon but it was--um--some other fruit, a citrus, not ripe', apparently she is going to get told off next time the curtain twitchers see her, hopefully she will reenact it for me afterwards.

That's too bad.

I think Robert Johnson wrote a song about that.