Do you have a mortal enemy?

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In college I did (a guy who wore a beret and wrote bad poetry), but now I don't. I think I need one.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 16 January 2003 18:37 (twenty-three years ago)

i do! he's this swarthy indie guy who looks like a hobbit a-and worships the nme, and goes on about 'good' music

(are mortal enemies fundamnetally based on knowing you could fuck them up if it came down to it i wonder? otherwise it's just 'sparring partners')

― zemko (bob), Thursday, 16 January 2003 18:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I have an arch enemy.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 16 January 2003 18:51 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a nemesis. He wouldn't let me backstage at Primal Scream a couple years ago and he knows he was wrong. I will have my revenge eventually. It's just a matter of time. Cockfarmer.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 16 January 2003 18:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I've got a shitlist longer than your arm, but whenever I refer to it I've usually forgotten what the person did, or even who they are. Either I'm one of those incredible and forgiving people who move too fast to dwell on grudges, or it's the marijuana.

― dave q, Thursday, 16 January 2003 19:30 (twenty-three years ago)

i keep thinking i'd like to take up kickboxing to deal with mine.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Too many to keep track of. The bizzare thing is, that with unnerving regularity, my best friends become my mortal enemies, but only twice have my mortal enemies become my good friends.

Then again, the term "mortal enemy" implies death. Most people, I don't wish death on them, I just wish they'd go somewere else There's only really one person that if it were in my power to erase them from the face of the earth I would do it But he's not really worth going to jail over, so he lives.

― kate, Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Good friends becoming mortal enemies is pretty common, I think. Generally I find that the people who piss me off most are like me, only the traits I dislike the most in myself are more prominent in them. So it's like seeing what you could have turned out like. Maybe that's just me, I dunno.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I wish voodoo dolls worked, because right now that's the only hope I have of escaping someone who is making my life miserable. Unfortunately, it's driving me to an early grave because every time this person pisses me off, I take another smoking break. So, it's either him or me.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Yance, yer right. Also it takes someone who knows you really well to hurt you the worst.

― kate, Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:34 (twenty-three years ago)

mortal enemy is such a harsh term, i prefer 'arch-nemesis'

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Iain Lee is my mortal enemy, but I think he's doing panto now so I am the victor.

― Al_Ewing, Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:37 (twenty-three years ago)

You have to at least like someone before you can properly hate them -- otherwise, there's no emotional investment. And if that's the case, why even bother?

― lavina, Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I had a mortal enemy in college, she was this über-hipster radical-chic girl who would say things like "By any means necessary!" in French history class. She was, on occasion, my friend as well.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 16 January 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't you have to have superpowers to get one of these?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 16 January 2003 21:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Everyone should have a nemesis.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 16 January 2003 21:22 (twenty-three years ago)

My superpower was rolling my eyes condescendingly at people who made stupid comments in history class.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 16 January 2003 21:28 (twenty-three years ago)

My nemesis since 1998 or so: JEREMY PIVEN.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 16 January 2003 21:30 (twenty-three years ago)

http://movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/contrib_pix/j/e/hds/jeremy_piven.jpg

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 16 January 2003 21:32 (twenty-three years ago)

i have two, possibly three.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 16 January 2003 21:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Jeremy Piven's forehead looks like it could be used to deflect meteorites.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 16 January 2003 21:52 (twenty-three years ago)

(ha. jeremy piven went to my high school and then made a movie based on my university. he won't leave me alone.)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 16 January 2003 21:57 (twenty-three years ago)

i guess i have about 5 enemies a week, really, but only two are permanent. so much hate in one so young.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 16 January 2003 22:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Amateurist: if PCU was meant to = NU, it failed pretty miserably -- I'd have never guessed that in a million years.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 16 January 2003 23:30 (twenty-three years ago)

no, PCU = Wesleyan

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 16 January 2003 23:33 (twenty-three years ago)

(accurate only in some details but screenwriters went there)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 16 January 2003 23:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I have no idea why, but that picture of Jeremy Piven just cracked me up. At least you can take consolation in the catastrophe that was Cupid.

I can't think of any in real life, I have stupid people that annoy me but they're not really enemies per se. There have been a couple of people online that have made my enemies list (like Harry Knowles for example, who wrote me this psycho email a few years back and is just a massive tool, both figuratively and literally).

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 17 January 2003 02:04 (twenty-three years ago)

What has Piven done wrong since '98 that I don't know about?

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Friday, 17 January 2003 02:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a story about Jeremy Piven that you just wouldn't believe, but...how libellous are we allowed to be on ILX? I swear it's true, though.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 17 January 2003 07:19 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm so kind that I promote my enemies. It adds glamour to my life. When I talk about my enemies I feverishly exaggerate their physical beauty, their intelligence and wit, and their spiritual purpose. In fact, it gives me great pleasure to humiliate myself in this way. I like to think of myself as a flea crushed under the strong feet of my enemies, when I'm unlucky enough to be hated. Of course, I'm far too weak to hate anyone myself, except obvious racists or sexists, which barely counts. I do apply my weak poetic skills as well as I can to the rendering of those who hate me. I don't know why they deserve this kind of adoration, it's a sort of spiritual joke. Perhaps I'm secretly delighted at their recognition of my repulsiveness, the thing about myself that gives me nice disgust.

My Hungarian friend's father rang me once and shouted down the phone at me for a long time that I was corrupting his son and concluded, 'I will be your NEMESIS.' I couldn't reply because it was difficult not to laugh so he asked if I understood what he meant.

― madeleine c, Friday, 17 January 2003 07:46 (twenty-three years ago)

One of my friends has in his high school yearbook written in red ink next to people's names things like "asshole" and "okay". He says it's in case he something happens to him and he can't remember.

― Joe (Joe), Friday, 17 January 2003 09:16 (twenty-three years ago)

i can't think of anyone right now who i'd say is a mortal enemy. but there are quite a few people i hate with a passion.

― sand.y, Saturday, 18 January 2003 00:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't really dislike anyone that I know personally (I think some people are grossly misguided, or dorks, or have shitty taste), but my wife's grandfather pisses me off when he gives her a kitten (that no doubtedly will shit and shed in my apartment) while she's home on vacation. But then the 18 years of living at home with a cat comes back to me and I turn into a marshmallow when I see the little thing.

Nevermind.

― Helltime Producto (Pavlik), Saturday, 18 January 2003 00:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine is the guy with the one eyebrow.

― Leee (Leee), Saturday, 18 January 2003 01:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Duh, Osama Bin Laden - he's totally got a huge price on his head, who wouldn't fuck him up?

Also several people from college who ran the student government and belonged to the secret society. But that's the special kind of hate I reserve for people who represent an abstract concept in my mind.

― Tom Millar (Millar), Saturday, 18 January 2003 17:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Nate Patrin.

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 18 January 2003 19:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I used to have a mortal enemy, his name was Pete. He was rich and was bitter because of his undying passion for my girlfriend, who had dumped him (2 years earlier, though). He took an immediate dislike to me and unfortunately was good friends with another friend of mine, so we frequently saw one another and almost always ended up within inches of coming to blows. One day I saw him at a bar and spilled a drink on him, not on purpose, and didn't feel a bit sorry or apologize. That was the last time I ever saw him.

― webcrack (music=crack), Saturday, 18 January 2003 21:44 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.geocities.com/crimemonkey/archives/uni.jpg

― That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 18 January 2003 22:39 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm too wimpy to have a mortal enemy now but in elementary school i had two (one of them knew it, the other didn't). one was a kid who wrote "i'm glad she's gone" on the chalkboard the day my third grade best friend moved to virginia, so i swore undying eternal hatred of him, which i forgot about in seventh grade. the other was this girl who just annoyed me, she didn't know it though.

― Maria (Maria), Saturday, 18 January 2003 22:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Everyone I work with is my mortal enemy.

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 19 January 2003 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Post urinary dribble.

― OCP (OCP), Sunday, 19 January 2003 01:31 (twenty-three years ago)

nine months pass...

someone on Slashdot has decided to mark me down as a Foe, I have no idea what I have done to deserve such a slight, I don't think that makes them a mortal enemy but as the only recognition beyond moderation I shall treasure him in my Freaks Folder.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 14 November 2003 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...

i wood tack him but i'm 11

― hailey mrie rogers, Tuesday, 1 June 2004 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

My mortal enemy, who until this point stuck to sending begging e-mails encouraging ex-girlfriends' of mine to report me for rape, has upped his speed quite drastically, and has now started trying to fuck his way through my Myspace top 8. We need another Vietnam.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Monday, 30 October 2006 15:42 (nineteen years ago)

i could do with a mortal enemy, it would give my life a little more focus.

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Monday, 30 October 2006 15:50 (nineteen years ago)

We need another Vietnam.

That's not the way to get ahead on The Guardian!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 30 October 2006 15:52 (nineteen years ago)

Kick the guy's fucking ass, Dom!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 30 October 2006 15:53 (nineteen years ago)

I *really* really want to, but he's currently dating one of my best friends, and I'm trying to co-ordinate fucking him up w/ him dumping her. :(

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Monday, 30 October 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

I feel like Adam eventually shared the Jeremy Piven story, but I can't remember it now.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:03 (nineteen years ago)

I think it was actually Nabisco who had a Piven story!

― I have outjaymc'd jaymc (nickalicious), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, read upthread, nickalicious

― rats, foiled again (nickalicious), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

all my enemies are immortal, that Zeus is a such a douche.

― timmy tannin (pompous), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

am not a little disappointed in jaymc.

― benrique (Enrique), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

I really don't think so anymore. I've been slowly making amends with "enemies" thankfully. unless you count that girl on the bus who sneakily tried to recruit to join her "online salesforce." hate it when I get on the bus now and she's there.

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

MYSELF ARGH

― emsk ( emsk), Monday, 30 October 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

my oily skin

― latebloomer: none of th movies make scence but they r good. (latebloomer), Monday, 30 October 2006 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

I'm sorry but the urge has overwhelmed my better sense...

MOOOOOORTAAAAAAL KOOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAT!!!!!

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Monday, 30 October 2006 17:48 (nineteen years ago)

and sometimes i think, if i killed off my mind
then my heart and i would be free
but somehow it knows what i am thinking about
and it's always that one step ahead of me

― Going Through The Motions (kate), Monday, 30 October 2006 17:50 (nineteen years ago)

I'd actually quite like one, it'd be fun to hate someone provided they really deserved it. Sadly no one has really fucked me over for ages.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 30 October 2006 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

took me a couple of minutes to figure out what that was from!

― emsk ( emsk), Monday, 30 October 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

Ha ha, especially considering I think I got that album from you!

― Going Through The Motions (kate), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:04 (nineteen years ago)

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