Sexual Ethics Dilemma

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There's this woman I kind of want to have sex with & I think she might be up for it (we did discuss filming homemade porn the other night), but I'm not obsessing over it or anything. Problem is, there's a mutual friend of ours who's in LURVE with her big style & has been moaning about it for over a year now, without doing anything about it. The guy won't even phone her up, whenever I suggest it he goes all shakey batshit like "Uh-uh-uh...I d-d-don't want to spoil our friendship, uh, er, not the right time" etc, and I've been hinting that if he doesn't make a move soon I will, but that makes him go right over the edge! I said semi-jokingly "Well how about if I just have a torrid one-nighter with her and then you can moon over her all you like after", and he says "Naw man, please, hands off, don't, that would really upset me", and I'd rather not upset anyone cuz he's a nice guy but this is getting stupid. What should I do?

― A. Nonimus, Friday, 17 January 2003 11:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Your friend is suffering from an idealisation complex so deep that he is incapable of having a relationship. He needs to shit or get off the pot, metaphorically speaking.

What does the WOMAN in question feel about the matter? She's hardly an inanimate piece of meat to be dissected and devoured between you two.

Maybe instead of talking to random strangers on the internet, maybe you should be asking HER what HER preferences are. Suggest to her that your friend has a crush, and see what her reaction is. If she's interested in him, maybe *she'll* have the guts that he doesn't, and make the first move. If she's not interested in him, go ahead, pounce.

Human beings are not pieces of furniture that you can bagsy like that.

I mean, hey, maybe he'll get upset about you "telling" but what a fucking putz. If this really has been going on this long, he needs a metaphorical boot to the head.

― kate, Friday, 17 January 2003 11:42 (twenty-three years ago)

(blimey kate: advice = good but total metaphor carcrash = bettah)

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 17 January 2003 11:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Threesome?

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 17 January 2003 11:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Kate is pretty much OTM. But you can also rephrase your query as "There's this thing I want to do that a friend of mine would see as a total betrayal, but I think it would be kind of fun. Should I do it?"

― Douglas (Douglas), Friday, 17 January 2003 12:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Rumble her! Sod your mate, he's obviously a wimp.

Or, um, actually, Kate's OTM.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 17 January 2003 12:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Threesome?

i think it's the only way to go.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 17 January 2003 13:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, as long as the third person isn't your neurotic friend, who would probably spend the whole time writing sonnets about the small of her back.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 17 January 2003 14:26 (twenty-three years ago)

ask dr freud.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 17 January 2003 14:27 (twenty-three years ago)

There's this thing I want to do that a friend of mine would see as a total betrayal, but I think it would be kind of fun. Should I do it?"
If she says yes, go for it!! You could also see if she's got a friend for your friend so everyones happy....

― brg30 (brg30), Friday, 17 January 2003 20:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Sigh. Why am I so good at giving other people advice about their love lives, but so shit at my own?

― kate, Friday, 17 January 2003 21:00 (twenty-three years ago)

five years pass...

what happened then?

― mr x, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:43 (eighteen years ago)

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