Wondering what thee phunny smell is in thee kitchen, then discovering that it is a sLUG which has crawled into thee oven that is roasting in its own juices. C/D?

(watch out for the hairy man)

I feel very sorry for it.

It was on b/c we were about to cook up some dinner. The slug must have found its way into thee oven before it was switched on. We didn't bother w/cooking dinner, and bought a chinese takeaway instead. How do yuo get rid of these fux0rz anyway? We are tired of them leaving trails across teh floor every night.

in dunedin there are terrifiying human flesh eating slugs that are 6 inches long all white and slimy with teeth

but 6 feet long, rather than 6 inches. I don't fancy that much. I don't fancy my terrible grammar skillz0rz as seen in thee thread title either.

I am confuddled! How wide was the straw? How did you manage to suck it through the straw (I hope you're still tired Dan)? Didn't it get stuck? How did it get into the straw in the first place?

Repeat until they're gone, or until watching them turn inside out stops being hilarous.

xpost!

Holy shit at finding this thread.

Anyway, not asking about slugs, asking about phunny smells in the kitchen. We of course have a hood over the cooktop/oven, and said hood is good for sucking out smoke and, one presumes, lingering toxins. However, my wife is convinced it is effective at sucking out smells, and that is where I disagree. Yesterday I roasted Brussels sprouts, and when my kid walked in the door she grunted and declared "the whole house smells like farts!" In this case, I had made the sprouts in the small toaster oven, but regardless, my wife insists running the hood/exhaust fan would have reduced the house-pervasive sprout/fart stank. But I argue it wouldn't have made a significant different, based mostly on my first hand experience of cooking sprouts, cabbage, fish and other things that make their presence known throughout the entire house. Maaaaaaybe if the hood were running at its highest power, but that entails a cost/benefit calculation of possibly fewer smells throughout the house vs. cooking to the soundtrack of a small jet taking off. And even then I don't think it would make a difference with the most stubborn and/or disagreeable smells.

So: thoughts on the effectiveness of oven hoods for reducing smells in real time?

Speaking of funny smells, a few years ago our car was getting stinky and we could not figure out what was going on. I have a busted sniffer so everyone else in the house is wailing about how bad the car smells and I can sorta smell something....

We hadn't had the car for that long and wife insisted that we bring it back to the dealership, that something is wrong with it. But it doesn't smell like a car smell, it smells like something rotten. I kinda looked under the seats and stuff but I couldn't locate it. The people with the good noses are upset. I encourage them to use their noses to locate this smell and they don't want to because it smells bad and it needs to go back to the dealership. I am not taking the car back to the dealership for this. Eventually I say fuck it and start taking everything out of the car and really getting into it.

A package of mozzarella had fallen out of a grocery bag and slid under a storage bin that we keep in the back of the car. At some point in the heat the packaging burst and the cheese had dried and affixed itself to the carpeting in the back of the car. Middle of summer, and it was rank. By that point I could smell it pretty well.

for reducing smells in real time, buy an air purifier – we bought one since we live in a very small apartment with an open kitchen, a cat and pot smoke coming from the neighbours

we have this one and it's amazing, the smart function detects most things: https://cowaymega.com/products/airmega-230

anything we used to cook with more aromatics/sauteeing (garlic, onion, spices, cumin...) would linger over our bedroom for hours. with the air purifier, it's not an issue anymore

Interesting. We have air purifiers running in the bedrooms, but never noticed them making a dent in cooking smells.

Further digressing my own thread revive (still want opinions on oven vent effectiveness!), we lost many a sippy cup of milk in the car only to sense its curdled presence later, but here's my fave car smell story. We were driving in New Zealand, home to many winding roads. My daughter had just devoured half a huge slice of lemon meringue pie, and maybe 20 minutes into the drive barfed it all over the back seat. We did the best we could with what we had to clean up, but it was only mildly effective. Even with the windows down the car smelled terrible, but there was little we could do about it at the time. We get to our next destination and find a small store where we pick up whatever cleaning products we could find, then headed back to the motel to get to work. We sprayed and scrubbed everything we could see, with the exception of the floor mats, which must have born the brunt of the barf, because they were pretty much beyond help; we hosed and washed them before giving up and leaving them behind. The rest of the trip we shared with the lingering smell of vomit.

Fast forward a few days and it's time to return the car. The place we rented from had a driver picking up the car from us at our motel, then dropping us off at the airport. We dreaded what he would say, but he said nothing for the entire drive. "Maybe it's not that bad" we said to ourselves later.

Fast forward another few weeks and we get an angry letter from the rental company complaining about the car's vomit smell, and that we hadn't disclosed it. We felt terrible, and wrote back that we would be happy to pay any cleaning fees, but that the driver was with us for 30 minutes and hadn't said a word, so we assumed it wasn't that bad. We never heard back after that, so ... who knows.

Anyway, I assume we are banned from New Zealand now.

So: thoughts on the effectiveness of oven hoods for reducing smells in real time?

Works for me ... if we don't run the hood vent in our house, cooking smells tend to linger in odd corners, like by the front door

I'm also a big fan (ha) of opening windows often, at least for short periods when weather and air quality permit ... the air handler for our furnace/AC doesn't turn over the air in the house very rapidly, and it isn't always running, so old-fashioned ventilation once in a while makes a perceptible difference

Ohohoho I don't even want to tell you all about the time I put a piece of living coral (I know, this is wrong to do, I was a little kid) in my dad's trunk and then left it there dying and rotting in the trunk for a whole Florida day in full sun. I don't think that smell ever completely went away for the life of the car which was like another 10 years bc it was a Volvo.

Re the kitchen exhaust fan, they have different rates of displacing air, and depending on the power and also the placement of the fans, some of them are better than others at moving air from places other than directly underneath themselves. If there's air trapped in corners of the room or there's no other movement, I don't think it will necessarily pull all the scented volume of air out of the room.

[My brain]: You saw the title, what possessed you to click on the thread you dipshit?

I clicked on the thread because I always assumed the habit of writing "thee" was a Joanna Newsom thing. An internet fad sparked off by the success of Ys. But the thread predates The Milk-Eyed Mender by a year. You learn something every day.

"Anyway, I assume we are banned from New Zealand now."

What with you being from the United States, perhaps the driver thought that you'd just eaten a Hershey bar, and that was why the car smelled of vomit. Either from your breath or from the Hershey bar's satanic oils exuding from your pores. Or from the melted chocolate on your fingers.

Or from the week-old, partially-melted bag of Hershey bars that you carried around with you. In his mind you were like Christopher Walken on the set of The King of New York, ruining take after take because you couldn't stop digging into your bag of hot dogs, except with Hershey bars.

I always assumed the habit of writing "thee" was a Joanna Newsom thing

nope, goes back to Psychic TV/Throbbing Gristle at least!

https://forums.stevehoffman.tv/threads/what-it-the-provenance-of-thee-in-garage-rock-band-names.300955/

Re the kitchen exhaust fan, they have different rates of displacing air, and depending on the power and also the placement of the fans, some of them are better than others at moving air from places other than directly underneath themselves. If there's air trapped in corners of the room or there's no other movement, I don't think it will necessarily pull all the scented volume of air out of the room.

― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Wednesday, 2 July 2025 17:45 (four hours ago)

Over-the-stove exhaust fans fall into two distinct categories. The first really is an exhaust fan and they work well at reducing cooking (and other) odors. Some work better than others - they're rated by CFM (cubic feet per minute) or the metric equivalent, and even the cheap ones move 300 CFM out of the room; good ones move 1000 CFM. Stand-alone ventilation hoods usually work better than the ones built into microwave ovens.

The second category isn't an exhaust fan at all. There's a fan, and it sucks air through the underside of the stove hood, but simply runs the air through a charcoal filter and recirulates the air back into your kitchen. You will feel air blowing outward from the hood somewhere. These are barely better than nothing at all in my experience, and do little to reduce smells and smoke and nothing to reduce heat. If you have one of these and have any way of installing a proper outdoor exhaust from the kitchen, it's worth the cost and effort.

I'm going to experiment that next time I cook something stinky and see what difference it really makes.

xxp thank you!

io your coral story is incredible, thank you