The ILE Virtual Sex Thread

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Never mind the flirting, the platonicism, this thread is for ILx posters to have virtual sex with selected other ILxors. Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough, etc etc zzzz....

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 24 January 2003 09:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Take it all off. You heard me. Socks too.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:27 (twenty-three years ago)

My, that's a lovely vagina I'm currently pumping away inside of.

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Will this take long? Should I just light the cigarette now?

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:29 (twenty-three years ago)

You call *that* a vagina! Your asshole which I am currently rimming is far tastier.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:30 (twenty-three years ago)

oh, you've got a few hours [smacks ass]

is that you, Sterling? I thought it was a mosquito

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:31 (twenty-three years ago)

So you'd like me to give it to you rough then?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:35 (twenty-three years ago)

HURT ME!

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:38 (twenty-three years ago)

*gets paddle out of closet*

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Damn. I thought no one would catch me watching from in here.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:42 (twenty-three years ago)

[grits teeth, giggles like madman] oooh this is gonna hurt this is gonna hurt thisisgonnahurt thsgnhrt....

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:43 (twenty-three years ago)

It's gonna hurt you a lot more than it's gonna hurt me. *cracks knuckles*

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:44 (twenty-three years ago)

don't be too sure of that [flicks middle finger at JBR's ankle]

there I hurt you now you have to punish me huh don't you huh don't you?

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Shut up and put your hands against the wall.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 January 2003 09:47 (twenty-three years ago)

DELETE ILX NOW!!!!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 24 January 2003 10:32 (twenty-three years ago)

oh come now, it's not that bad

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 24 January 2003 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

(c'mon, this is the ~~most action I've gotten~~ best thread we've had in months!)

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 January 2003 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

(My prudishness is but a ploy.)

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 24 January 2003 10:47 (twenty-three years ago)

oh is it? [prepares lube]

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 24 January 2003 10:59 (twenty-three years ago)

*tosses Matos a surgical glove*

Want me to hold him down?

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:05 (twenty-three years ago)

We need a safe word NOW.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:06 (twenty-three years ago)

it says sex, not autopsy
*runs away*

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:14 (twenty-three years ago)

[slaps g-kit with surgical glove] thanks, Jody. now, back to work.

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Oooh... I don't think I've ever heard a human squeal like that. Go easy on him, man.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm just lying there naked, spread-eagle, murmuring fuck off.

― Gordon (Gordon), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:54 (twenty-three years ago)

(I really did not expect this to be a Marcello thread.)

STEVIE WONDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Sadly Nick I am currently suffering severe side-effects from the condition commonly known as "not having had any for eight months" and I therefore unfortunately fall into such lapses occasionally. I apologise for my lack of control.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 24 January 2003 12:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, anything that leads me to be able to type Stevie Wonder in both bold AND italics is a great thing!

I notice that it stopped the thread though. Which was kind of the point (the aforementioend pop star's name being my favourite thing to exclaim at the point of- ahem).

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 24 January 2003 13:19 (twenty-three years ago)

not having had any for eight months

Piker.

― J (Jay), Friday, 24 January 2003 14:07 (twenty-three years ago)

hardly piking. i didn't exactly have a say in the matter.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 24 January 2003 14:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I managed 18 years without! But I didn't know what I was missing, to be fair.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 24 January 2003 14:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey I just found this on the floor!

Where does it go?

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 24 January 2003 18:15 (twenty-three years ago)

You strap it on, see...

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 24 January 2003 18:18 (twenty-three years ago)

That's no way to treat Winnie the Pooh!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 24 January 2003 18:22 (twenty-three years ago)

lets cyberfuck

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 24 January 2003 18:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey don't you all live in the same city anyway? HIT THAT.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 24 January 2003 18:24 (twenty-three years ago)

*rummages through drawers* Now where did I put that rubber corset? Oh, and Tom? Is this your old handmade vibrator? *applies it where the sun don't shine*

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 24 January 2003 20:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Ahhh... Nothing like a good Friday afternoon romp.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 24 January 2003 20:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Sterling,you need some discipline. On you knees!! Now!!!*Cracks bullwhip*. .Now who else has been bad....

― whatzitzname (whatzitzname), Friday, 24 January 2003 20:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Not enough women in here - must represent!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 24 January 2003 20:39 (twenty-three years ago)

It's gettin hot in herre...

― Jen (nstop), Friday, 24 January 2003 20:43 (twenty-three years ago)

it says sex, not autopsy

We may be a twisted and perverted bunch, but we're a careful twisted and perverted bunch. Watch it with those bodily fluids!

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 24 January 2003 20:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Watch it with those bodily fluids!
What a turn-off!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 24 January 2003 20:49 (twenty-three years ago)

''I managed 18 years without!''

is that it?!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 24 January 2003 20:50 (twenty-three years ago)

OUCH! I just slipped on some body fluids!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 24 January 2003 20:51 (twenty-three years ago)

I filled the bathtub with lotion in case anyone's interested.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 24 January 2003 20:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Err... Never mind then. Forget what I said about the bathtub and carry on...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 24 January 2003 21:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah, McLusty, get my, er, "hopes" up with the lotion/bathtub talk and, er, well...

Yeah, more girls needed up in herre. Here, let me clear you a place to sit (rubs face with hands vigorously).

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 24 January 2003 21:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, I fully realize how stupid that was.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 24 January 2003 21:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Am I weird for being surprisingly unexcited by contents of this thread, Sarah's bathtub comments maybe excepted?

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 24 January 2003 21:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, but very funny.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 24 January 2003 21:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I've really got to work on posting faster. Told nickalicious he was weird but funny.
N., Thanks for saying my comment was 'maybe excepted.'

As mentioned earlier, did not enjoy glove/bodily fluids direction.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 24 January 2003 21:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, the Sarah/lotion thing was the only real turn-on here. C'mon, someone, go out on a limb and actually say something arousing.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:26 (twenty-three years ago)

NB "someone" SHOULD NOT EQUAL MARTIN SKIDMORE (sorry Martin)

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:26 (twenty-three years ago)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, Nabisco, say something arousing.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I mean, if you're not gonna shit, get off the pot...

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh. I thought that was a pube.

― Cozen (Cozen), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:31 (twenty-three years ago)

For the love of God please let it not involve shitting into a pot.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Do we think that Nabisco protests too much, and I should take it as a clear sign that he wants me?

No, me neither.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:31 (twenty-three years ago)

some rock bottoms have been hit today, people.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, I've just remembed I invented that 'rock bottom' thing. My 10000 posts were not in vain.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:35 (twenty-three years ago)

At least we've made the rocks happy!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 January 2003 22:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Getcher rocks off.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, 25 January 2003 01:01 (twenty-three years ago)

so many orifices, so many limbs!!! where do i start?

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 25 January 2003 03:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Hee hee, i was like "where's di?" ;-)

― ron (ron), Saturday, 25 January 2003 03:57 (twenty-three years ago)

yes, good, so the blindfold is secure. now for the handcuffs.

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 25 January 2003 04:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Can't we just cuddle?

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 25 January 2003 04:06 (twenty-three years ago)

*yawn* I'm so not interested in sex these days. What's on tv?

― That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 25 January 2003 04:11 (twenty-three years ago)

What do you mean, you forgot the little knit waistcoats?

― Douglas (Douglas), Saturday, 25 January 2003 05:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Damn! Honey, I'm sorry but I just cut my lip with this darn bullwhip. Mind remaining in bondage while I call the paramedics and have some stitches put it?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Saturday, 25 January 2003 05:21 (twenty-three years ago)

What's with all the bondage gear? Whatever happened to just grabbing tits and vanilla oral sex and etc.

This generation is too hypersexualized.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 25 January 2003 06:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I think it was the "grabbing tits" that turned-off the women, Sterling Clover. We decided that if there was going to be pain, it should be enjoyable for all involved.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Saturday, 25 January 2003 06:29 (twenty-three years ago)

What, men don't have tits?

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 January 2003 06:45 (twenty-three years ago)

*laughing* Good point. Just that I never think about grabbing them - I go for the male tuckus, myself, if I am going to grab something.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Saturday, 25 January 2003 06:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Man, Sterling, you're making my wang look big.

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 25 January 2003 09:03 (twenty-three years ago)

oh my

― Dave (Dave), Saturday, 25 January 2003 11:17 (twenty-three years ago)

You guys are so fucking lucky that Lord Custos doesn't post on ILE

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, 25 January 2003 13:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Mod UP Wang +7.5!!!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 25 January 2003 23:43 (twenty-three years ago)

I filled the bathtub with lotion in case anyone's interested.

It puts the lotion on its skin.

― I was never here (felicity), Sunday, 26 January 2003 02:04 (twenty-three years ago)

PuHHt dtha LOwssShinntha FawwknBaaaAAskitt!!

― ron (ron), Sunday, 26 January 2003 03:06 (twenty-three years ago)

What are random googlers gonna make of this thread?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 26 January 2003 09:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I really like this No Man record, I got it for like two dollars! Score!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 26 January 2003 11:17 (twenty-three years ago)

five years pass...

http://i8.tinypic.com/8648upz.gif

― omar little, Tuesday, 19 February 2008 06:28 (eighteen years ago)

You guys are so fucking lucky that Lord Custos doesn't post on ILE

-- Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, January 25, 2003 1:01 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

― s1ocki, Tuesday, 19 February 2008 06:31 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.archives.gov/about/history/building-an-archives/images/statue-future.gif

― omar little, Tuesday, 19 February 2008 20:16 (eighteen years ago)

Right now? Aw, c'mon ILX. I've had a long day and I'm really tired.

― kenan, Tuesday, 19 February 2008 20:20 (eighteen years ago)

Jesus christ @ this.

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 21 February 2008 01:17 (eighteen years ago)

gah

― John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 01:25 (eighteen years ago)

These were truly different times.

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 21 February 2008 01:28 (eighteen years ago)

2003 was such an innocent time.

― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 21 February 2008 01:49 (eighteen years ago)

This thread is so hott.

― Daniel, Esq., Thursday, 21 February 2008 02:25 (eighteen years ago)

oh my

― homosexual II, Thursday, 21 February 2008 02:48 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

man wtf

― forksclovetofu, Monday, 25 January 2010 05:20 (sixteen years ago)

i was just searching for a "virtual on" thread for ILG

― forksclovetofu, Monday, 25 January 2010 05:20 (sixteen years ago)

that's no excuse for reviving it

― mintox plus oral (electricsound), Monday, 25 January 2010 05:24 (sixteen years ago)

oh I couldn't possibly revive it, I'm spent.

― dyao, Monday, 25 January 2010 05:28 (sixteen years ago)

well played

― pithfork (Hurting 2), Monday, 25 January 2010 05:34 (sixteen years ago)

O_O

― awesome bapes from aflickr (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 25 January 2010 05:40 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5271e32247/let-s-get-sexy-with-craig-robinson

― arch-enemy Gay Cowboy Monster (the table is the table), Monday, 25 January 2010 05:45 (sixteen years ago)

[grits teeth, giggles like madman]

― velko, Monday, 25 January 2010 05:51 (sixteen years ago)

*dons avatar furry costume*

*sees you*

― ┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐ (Steve Shasta), Monday, 25 January 2010 05:52 (sixteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.