"I have an uncle in Uzbekistan who will make me very rich."

On July, 1998, a British Oil consultant/contractor with the Uzbekistani National Petroleum Corporation, Mr. Truman Hopkins made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$25,000,000.00 (Twenty-five Million Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the Uzbekistani National
Petroleum Corporation that Mr. Truman Hopkins died from an automobile accident. On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a WILL, and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless. I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr. Truman Hopkins did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$25,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank
and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one has ever come forward to claim it.

According to Uzbekistani Law, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the Uzbekistani Government if nobody applies to claim the fund. Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you to stand in as the nephew to Mr. Truman Hopkins so that the fruits of this man's labour will not get into the hands of some corrupt government officials. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the Attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the services of two Attorney for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favour for the transfer. A bank account in any part of the world which you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 65% for me and 30% for you and 5% be used in settling taxation and all local and foreign expenses.

There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the Attorney and my position as the Branch Manager guarantees the successful execution of this transaction. If you are interested, please reply immediately via the private email address below. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction.

Please observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.

I do urgently await your response.

Best regards,

MR. ABDULKHAFIZ JALALOV
TERMIZ BANK (UZB.) LTD.
URGANCH BRANCH
TASHKENT. - UZBEKISTAN.

(When I saw the subject line I thought Nigerian letters had migrated to the former Soviet Union.)

not even his nephew, Tim.

Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0

idly googling, just found out that my uncle left a will of €70m last year. dad fell out with him years ago.

0_o

He probably fell out with him because he was an insufferable prick, money or no money.

nah, he worked for him and they were too alike from what i can gather.

fuck ingratiating yrself w/ wealthy relatives imo

love this more than words can say

1 year passes...

Bosko Balaban Stats For Season

Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0

― bosko, Monday, 14 June 2004 03:37 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

6 years pass...

Thought this revive was going to be about ethnic cleansing.

fuck ingratiating yrself w/ wealthy relatives

^^^. NOT worth it

Yeah, it's a deeply weird thing to do. The kind of thing that mainly happens in films.

i knew a girl who was apparently srs abt it but i got the sense her family weren't the semtimental type

rich ppl generally aren't

heh i dunno guys he was still my uncle, not just 'a rich person', although tbf i get on better with other, poorer cousins

suppose i was being a bit 'so, what was it that endeared you to your hugely wealthy estranged relative?'

he was only estranged with the auld fella, really. and we've all been estranged from him every now and again. irish family, whatyagonnado?

yeah my gran had siblings she didn't see for probably 70+yrs of simultaneous existence

my grandfather used to own a cotton field in oklahoma. i was like "holy shit!!" when i found out, it's the kind of thing i never expected anyone in my family to have done. and it felt... well, it felt creepy. the way the words "cotton" and "oklahoma" in the same sentence will.

then i wondered what it brought in. about $70/year apparently.

that's in 2002 dollars.

i'd imagine that labour costs have kind of eaten into margins in the past ~200 year alright

rich uzbekistani ppl are great btw (except for alisher usmanov)

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/05/nyregion/05forest.html

rich irish people are all not rich any more tbh

fuck ingratiating yrself w/ wealthy relatives imo

the irish thing, tbh, (aprticularly rural) is to ingratiate yrself with elderly neighbours without conspicuous beneficiaries. lol community.