ILE = Mutual Solipsism or Popularity Contest?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Is everybody here being Alone Together, indulging in mental masturbation with a (perceived) audience?

Is it an exercise in mutual backslapping and namechecking?

Or is it a very real and neccessary and good support system?

I am having a lot of trouble being able to distinguish right now.

(I am not trolling or taking the piss. I'm just unsure of its role in my life right now, and it if it actually a good thing or a negative and destructive thing.)

― I Don't Exist, Saturday, 25 January 2003 11:13 (twenty-three years ago)

its a combination. i think its different for different people, i think different people use it differently. the community/false community thing is something that isnt even an issue for some of the posters, who use it purely as a discussion/ideas board (more like ILM i suppose)

as for the support vs solipsism thing, well i would say it can be both, depending on you. its you who makes the best or worst of something. its you who chooses how something works in your life.

for me, i only have good things in my life because i, unfortunately, have very little spare time:( but i can see why it could be considered destructive, if its 3 in the afternoon on a saturday and you havent gone out, you havent done anything with the day, but youve been on ILE i would say that is destructive (for me, at least).

but if you like to learn lots of things, get new perspective and talk with people you like, then i would say that is positive. its really down to you, use it so its a good thing, dont overuse it...dont read all the threads, do what feels right

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 25 January 2003 11:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I agree with Gareth. I've never seen much of a down side to this at all.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 25 January 2003 12:41 (twenty-three years ago)

(for insightful deconstruction of the virtues and evils of communities real, virtual, willed and inadvertant, cf the buffy musical)

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 25 January 2003 12:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I like to think of it as a mutual contest and popularity solipsism.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Saturday, 25 January 2003 13:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Is anyone else troubled by the term 'mutual solipsism'?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 25 January 2003 14:00 (twenty-three years ago)

insofar that I had to go to the ditionary and look it up and that I was troubled that I'd never heard the word before then yes, Martin. But now I've sorted this and to save anyone else the trouble:

solipsism = metaphysical term for the view that the self is the only knowable, or only existant thing.

hmmm, given that I'm unsure whether this is ever a tenable poisition to take and that we discuss all sorts of subjects and given that I've never heard of anyone becoming dependent on ILE for the sum total of their social interaction, then no.

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 25 January 2003 14:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I knew what the words meant. The only way I can make sense of the term is that I'll accept your independent existence if you accept mine, and we'll consider everything else to be in our imaginations. This seems not quite to be solipsism anyway. Duoipsism, perhaps.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 25 January 2003 14:16 (twenty-three years ago)

you do sometimes meet mutual solipsists: viz ppl who were love-at-first-sight childhood sweethearts, married as teens, and have had only had childless eyes for one another for 70 years... they are generally very boring company indeed, seeing as they are completed by one another and no one outside the duoipsism has any role to play

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 25 January 2003 14:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you see ILX that way?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 25 January 2003 14:50 (twenty-three years ago)

no (ilx involves more than two people)

(it involves all seven of us)

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 25 January 2003 14:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I use this to get diff perspectives on things, to learn a bit. The meeting ppl through FAPs was a pleasant surprise. something that I didn't know abt for a long time (since i never even looked at ILE and most FAP threads are on ILE) but it is still an ideas board first.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 25 January 2003 15:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Seven of us? I thought there were 12. I think I'm getting it confused with the lizards again.

― rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 25 January 2003 16:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I've never heard of anyone becoming dependent on ILE for the sum total of their social interaction

*sob*

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Saturday, 25 January 2003 16:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I was just about to ask this question.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 25 January 2003 16:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I do get a little annoyed by the TOP TEN GREATEST POSTERS EVER type threads, but I try not to complain, for fear that people will think I am merely JEALOUS. So, I try to just stay away from those types of threads. (Though I do read them, to stay aware of whose ASS i should be kissing.)

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 25 January 2003 17:08 (twenty-three years ago)

top ten greatest posters ever aka top 12 12 foot lizards

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 25 January 2003 17:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Backslapping and belongingness slang suck but the life-support thing is OK I guess. Mutual masturbation is good but not in a figurative sense.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 25 January 2003 17:35 (twenty-three years ago)

All that said, can we please have more big intense snippy arguments about matters of great import? (I am completely serious.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 25 January 2003 18:20 (twenty-three years ago)

That's your problem.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 25 January 2003 18:21 (twenty-three years ago)

But is it really, Nick? After all, studies on the function of non-traditional "communities" such as online message boards have repeatedly demonstrated that

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 25 January 2003 18:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I think an important thing about ILX, is that people do show a display of emotions and the tone can change.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 25 January 2003 18:26 (twenty-three years ago)

ILE saved my life.

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 25 January 2003 19:06 (twenty-three years ago)

It's one big circle jerk.

― , Saturday, 25 January 2003 19:33 (twenty-three years ago)

. . . that saved my life.

It's what you want to make of it. ILE was an important community for me when I was geographically and socially isolated and now that I've moved back to a bigger city the people I've met through here are better friends for me than many of the tunnel-vision folks I know from past lives.

em@il, I liked what you posted to the Fashion Advice thread but sometimes you can be a bit, well, hard to know.

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 25 January 2003 19:51 (twenty-three years ago)

i can see why it could be considered destructive, if its 3 in the afternoon on a saturday and you havent gone out, you havent done anything with the day, but youve been on ILE

oh no! off to work...

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 25 January 2003 20:02 (twenty-three years ago)

I meant you're problem is that you're completely serious.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 25 January 2003 20:09 (twenty-three years ago)

'You're" indeed!

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 25 January 2003 20:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah Nick, I realized that after I posted but then I realized that my joke worked either way!

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 25 January 2003 23:28 (twenty-three years ago)

So shut it, bitch.

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 25 January 2003 23:28 (twenty-three years ago)

i think if you're one of the popular in-crowd types here, OF COURSE you wouldn't see it as a bad thing. try to remember that this is the internet, and that some of us would probably hate each other in real life. and um just keep posting, whoever you are. there've been times i've been fucking down as and the communication really helps.

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 26 January 2003 00:03 (twenty-three years ago)

i think if you're one of the popular in-crowd types here, OF COURSE you wouldn't see it as a bad thing.

I strongly disagree with this (assuming I'm one of these types).

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 26 January 2003 01:25 (twenty-three years ago)

perhaps i should have said "as a wholly bad thing"?

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 26 January 2003 01:30 (twenty-three years ago)

i think i am one of the unpopular in-crowd

― duane (24 hour troubleshooter), Sunday, 26 January 2003 03:08 (twenty-three years ago)

a crowd of one

― duane (24 hour troubleshooter), Sunday, 26 January 2003 03:08 (twenty-three years ago)

the one wolf

― ron (ron), Sunday, 26 January 2003 03:24 (twenty-three years ago)

in some ways I feel less tied to the boards now that I've made some really good friends from it. so while I feel the way Mary does about the "greatest posters" threads, generally I don't worry about it too much.

― M Matos (M Matos), Sunday, 26 January 2003 03:30 (twenty-three years ago)

(Mary is one of my greatest posters of all time ever. Especially in the categories of books I've never heard of and Gilmore Girls.)

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 26 January 2003 04:17 (twenty-three years ago)

If this thread manages to make it through the weekend without Dan or Ned posting, I think we'll know the answer for sure

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 26 January 2003 04:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't mind the solipsism that occasionally creeps into this forum, because I know so many of you in real life and/or interact with you regularly outside of ILE. You need a place to vent, and so do I.

These days I prefer ILE to ILM because my scope of interests is greater than music and I get bored engaging in the same tedious "only pick one Pavement song" bullshit all the time and even though I appreciate the more cultstuddy music threads and try to participate as much as I can, sometimes I'm preoccupied with real-life problems and I'd rather talk about something innocuous, like what sort of donuts I enjoy.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 26 January 2003 06:42 (twenty-three years ago)

I only know one regular poster on ILX personally, and there's maybe one lurker (post already!) that I know, and so I guess what attracts me to this forum is testing out to see if strangers find me interesting or not (I already know Sean finds me painfully dull!). So far the results have been disappointing, but not so bad that I'm really discouraged (not a hint!). There's a certain freedom, however sad, in knowing that if you left a place you wouldn't be missed. Perhaps attending a FAP would change that; we'll see. Seems like cheating in a way, though. I am a sorry fucker, eh?

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 26 January 2003 06:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Smart and funny people are a dime a dozen. Nice wins every time.

-- felicity ([email protected]), January 5th, 2003 2:33 PM.

― ron (ron), Sunday, 26 January 2003 07:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I know it's only mutual solipism...but I like it.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 26 January 2003 23:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Yay us. In whatever sense.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 27 January 2003 03:21 (twenty-three years ago)

"We've done this."

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 27 January 2003 05:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Every "community" also has its share of people who are tied to it and thrive off its dynamics in a supa-serious way.

This is both sad and happy I was thinking about while watching High School Reunion -- I mean I'll be glad that someone organized my 10 year reunion but god forbid I should turn into the type of person who would organize such a thing!

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 27 January 2003 05:47 (twenty-three years ago)

i got no idea what you're saying, i just likes reading it, yo.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 27 January 2003 11:17 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.stadiumguide.com/cravencottage1.jpg

― Tim (Tim), Monday, 27 January 2003 12:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Tim, whither the picture of Craven Cottage?

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 27 January 2003 12:53 (twenty-three years ago)

ILE is whatever you want it to be. It helped me through a really difficult time, it amuses me greatly and makes my working day go quicker but sometimes it upsets me or pisses me off. I think the main thing is you can take it or leave it. It’s like a whole circle of friends that you don’t have to talk to if you don’t want to, if it pisses you off you can just f*ck off for a while - if you do that with real life folk they don’t stick around long.

― smee (smee), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:03 (twenty-three years ago)

I really don't take ILE or ILM very seriously (the odd music discussion aside). I'm sure this comes as a shock to everyone.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:12 (twenty-three years ago)

But we take you seriously. You are our noble philosopher.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:23 (twenty-three years ago)

No-balls philosopher more like.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Poor guy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:26 (twenty-three years ago)

It's one big circle jerk.

I think that most friendships are set up as support systems, so in that sense they could all be seen as circle jerks.

Personally, I really enjoy ILE. I get very lonely at work sitting in my office alone and it's a nice distraction. There are lots of really nice and funny people on ILE. Of course, I get the occasional bad feeling from posters as I can be v sensitive sometimes. And what's with all this anti-kitten-photo-posting as of late? Hope it's nothing against me.

I think of fellow ILE posters as friends to the extent that they can be never have met most of you.

Also, I don't think the name-checking is that bad. I'm not a huge fan of popularity threads only b/c I tend to not be mentioned, but a lot of time I direct comments to one specific person or refer to other threads, I'm only trying to increase the community aspect of the board and promote conversation. Obv, if one hasn't been on here for very long, one might not get all the references and think they are private jokes. But doesn't that happen to any newbie in any group of friends?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

man i love the kittens!

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 27 January 2003 17:06 (twenty-three years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.