This is from the TV review written by Charlie Courtauld in today's Independent On Sunday, talking about the Poliakoff two-parter on at present. I have not removed anything from the paragraph, nor is there anything before or after, bar a later weak crack about visits to the dentist, to extend the chocolate simile:
"Put that way, The Lost Prince sounds like a worthy overlong harangue, or pleasurable but forgettable - a sort of TV Sherbet Fountain. In fact, it is anything but. This is a TV Curly Wurly; a rare treat - haunting, memorable, delicate, satisfying."
1. How can something sound as if it is "a worthy overlong harangue, or pleasurable but forgettable"?
2. Is the Sherbet Fountain supposed to be both of those, or is it satisfied with the "pleasurable but forgettable" part?
3. How is a Curly Wurly ever haunting, of all things, even if you were to believe it to possess the other qualities?
4. Is there any explanation for this drivel other than someone betting him that he couldn't compare this show to some old sweets?
5. What are the most useless similes you've ever seen?
― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 26 January 2003 16:59 (twenty-three years ago)
"this album sucks and it doesn't even swallow"-one reviewer I hope I never get a blowjob off.
― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 26 January 2003 17:04 (twenty-three years ago)
Have you ever had a Sherbet Fountain and thought "mm, that was very like a worthy overlong harangue"?
― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 26 January 2003 18:10 (twenty-three years ago)
No, but I regularly wonder whether there used to be more sherbet in them or whether it's just my imagination.
― Lara (Lara), Sunday, 26 January 2003 18:15 (twenty-three years ago)
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly as a bowling ball wouldn't.
― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:36 (twenty-three years ago)
How is a Curly Wurly 'delicate'? It's not. It's chewy as fuck. It needs
knawing. Your man was on a bet, pure and simple.
― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:44 (twenty-three years ago)
And topically:
The beleaguered ballerina rose gracefully ‘en pointe’ and extended one slender leg behind her like a dog at a fire hydrant.
― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:51 (twenty-three years ago)
You got that email about things wot kids put in GCSE exam papers too, huh?
― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:51 (twenty-three years ago)
Yup. But it's not GCSE - too many Americanisms. I don't think we have 'fire-hydrants' in Europe do we? Or do we?
― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 January 2003 16:53 (twenty-three years ago)