Bloody hell, *I* fancy you!!!

This chap obviously likes you but doesn't *like* you. He is probably looking for ego-stroking and reassurance but that doesn't make him bad. Sounds like you are both experiencing similar emotions that are complicated by the fact that your feelings are for him. I would advise to STEER WELL CLEAR. you'll only end up looking like a fool or getting upset.

Perhaps I am too proud though?

1. Make a serious pass at him?
2. Get on the Internet and ask some people if they think he might fancy you?

He: I have such terrible luck with girls!
She: I really don't understand men!
He: Do I scare them off by being too intimidating?
She: So do I! I scare them off by being too honest!
He: But girls *hate* honesty! They like to play games!
She: I hate playing games. Why can't we just be free from social convention?
He: Why is it so difficult to just say "I *LIKE* you!!!"
::silence as possibly potentially meaningful looks are exchanged::
She: Perfect Prescription is over, shall we put on Playing With Fire next?
He: It's so unfair, girls never fancy me!

However, in the movie, he pounced on her and she beat him off with a stick. I've had this scenario end with disasterous results if I actually attempt to pounce. Sigh. I don't fancy him in a threatening scary way, I just want to make beautiful free jazz with him. I just want him to know how groovy I think he is.

Oh, this is the confusing, sickening, fun, wonderful, nailbiting awful part of the crush. Where it's all wonderful potential and no hurt or disappointment of non-reciprocation, or the awkwardness of actually trying to blossom into A Thing. Why can't we just stay this way forever?

He: Free jazz! jazz is innocent!
She: Do not free jazz. Put jazz back in jail, 'tis evil!

1. Make a serious pass at him?
2. Get on the Internet and ask some people if they think he might fancy you?

3. Knowing that he reads Freaky Trigger and sometimes lurks on ILM, post thinly veiled dilemmas which make reference to his immense shaggability in the hopes that it will boost his self esteem?

Bear in mind that I'm not entirely sure that the desired end result is us getting it on. The last thing I want right now is a relationship. Maybe I just want to let him know that he's lovely in a way he can't discount. :-)

OK, I'll stop being so obvious.

Oh fuck it, who cares? He's lovely! And if he doesn't realise that I think he's amazing, then he's stupid.

That's always the problem, isn't it?

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

N.B. I am not sympathising with jot eff pe's weird hyperdefensive post - it just reminded me of reading this drivel today.

I didn't deny this.

I just hate that men always say "Oh, it's so easy for you girls, you can get laid/find a guy any time."

It's not true. The reason guys say this is because they conveniently exclude a large portion of the female population when they think of "women".

I think women are more honest about having standards, whereas guys seem to like to perpetuate the myth that they'll fuck just about anything.

If they do, it's dull because it's a cliche.

If they don't, it's dull because it's sexism.

(Grrr... this would be so much easier if I knew the English word for Schubladendenker.)

I hardly think that what Melissa said was a cliche; pointing out a general weakness that is present in many men or women (more due to social conditioning than due to their gender itself) might alert some of 'em to this weakness and give them the possibility to work on it, so it's useful even if it is dull. Sure, we are all individuals, and what Melissa said doesn't apply to *all* men, but she's hardly putting us all in one schublade (so to speak) by pointing out a weakness that many men might have. There's a difference between saying "men tend to..." and saying "ALL MEN tend to...", you know.

OK, my mistake. Saying "MOST MEN I KNOW OR HEARD OF tend to etc." every time would be really fucking PC but let's try to think it, please. At least once in a while. Thank you.

...it's still not what "men always say", for christ's s... oh wait, I'm getting into a loop here.

(Don't argue, kids, you're both wrong.)

Melissa, I think that most any woman can get laid most any time. Just go into any bar. I am not saying that she would necessarily want to have sex with any of the men there, but it is highly likely that at least some of the men would be more than willing to have sex with her. (After all, why are there so few male prostitutes who serve women? There just isn't that much of a market when it comes to women wanting to get their rocks off. And yes, there are male escort services, but those tend to cater toward women who actually want an escort/companion for some stated reason - sex may be involved, but it's usually after attending some function where he poses as her date.) BUT there is a big difference between someone finding a sexual partner for a one-night stand or for a fuck-friend and finding someone you want to spend your life with.

For either gender, the search for a mate can be a long and tedious and frustrating and lonely process. It is not easier for one gender or the other, I don't imagine, to find someone with whom they are compatible in things other than sexual interests.

I do believe that men can be sexually manipulated easier than women, but that is a generalization and varies depending on age/sex drive at a given time. (I've seen some older women do some really stupid shit because of their sex drive.)

Okay, that's my piece.

Oh, Kate, get over it. Pounce on the boy. If he's an amazing guy but somehow not interested in you, he'll brush you off and it won't destroy the friendship. Worst case scenario, you have a few awkward weeks and then get over it. (Well, OK, the worst case scenario probably involves a white picket fence and the pitterpatter of little feet, but you see what I mean.)

Gah, that was horrible. I mean, god forbid a man actually care about his appearance! That instantly makes him a gurl.

What other reason is there to have sex? Cause it feels good? Most of the time, a decent wank is just as good. The only reason to have sex with someone else is to see your own validity reflected in their eyes. I'll be your mirror, reflect what you are, in case you don't know.

Yeah, I'm aware of how sick and fucked up that is. It sure explains a lot of my attitudes, doesn't it? Maybe things would feel different if I was in love. But that's even scarier than being in bed with a near stranger...

So what is bad sex, under those conditions?

Anyway...

Anyway yeah. The other less flattering take is that I wouldn't really care about their feelings, it's just that I wouldn't want myself moaned about as another man who just fucked and went.

And what Dan said.

Which is exactly what I was doing on Saturday night, thank you...

Are you curious or wanting?

uh, no.

there's one by the motorway in glasgow but I've never been inside. there's one at the end of byre's road...earlier this month, as the last resort, we went in there for a drink and it was very expensive and they had on tori amos the whole time. it was nice, though.

[...thinks...]

IT'S NOT A BINARY QUESTION.

Is that better?

001100?

010101?

And why have I only found ONE photo of him on the internet, and that one is totally shite and you can barely see him for psychedelic stuff?

OK, so I just got back from my first tour. What went wrong?

Or rather, what am I doing right? I couldn't get laid in a meat market if I wasn't in a band. But when we're on tour, I have to beat off boys with sticks. I wouldn't stay in a band otherwise!

"And Hilton is a total dick for not noticing how much you fancy him, and not appreciating your loyal affection."

I'm trying to have perspective here, but it's hard when you're bored and manic and can't sleep. I've blown this whole thing way out of proportion. Why? Because it's fun.

OK, last post about Hilton and now I will make an attempt to control my mania and not get this way about some boy. Even though I REMEMBERED THE SONG!!! I REMEMBERED THE SONG!!! I'm so proud. I wrote a song about him yesterday morning, but then in all the excitement about my job, forgot to write it down. And when I went to play it in the evening, it was wiped from my memory. But I woke up with it stuck in my head this morning. Complete. Arranged. Middle 8 and everything. Beautiful! Just like him!

ENOUGH! Slap me if you catch me perving on Hilton. This is to stop.

I originally read this as "Middle 8 Mile", so I thought Kate had started doing rap!