Getting felt up by your LPs: is this normal?

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Every time I walk past my record collection something happens. At first, it was just my copies of Paranoid and Murmur whistling at me, but it's gotten worse. Last night, I caught Subterranean Modern putting its hand on my rear end, and shortly afterwards Songs About Fucking grabbed my left breast. What should I do?

Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 02:57 (twenty-three years ago)

switch to decaf.

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 02:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Introduce them to your 12"'s

fractal (fractal), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 03:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Tell them no means no.

Vinnie (vprabhu), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 03:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Place offending record on turnatble platter. Lift record off platter 1". Rest record back on platter. Repeat vigorously until record is fully satisfied.

Aaron A., Tuesday, 28 January 2003 04:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Music has the right to children.

Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 05:16 (twenty-three years ago)

so not a vinyl fetishist then?

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 05:18 (twenty-three years ago)

just be glad you don't have any Momus albums.

DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 15:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I was already.

Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 15:16 (twenty-three years ago)

swap the horny viny for well-behaving cd's and cassettes, of course

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 15:24 (twenty-three years ago)

i would not object to being felt up by my sleater-kinney and t rex LPs.

di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Tell them no means no.

But I'll have to get some Nomeansno LPs first, won't I?

Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:13 (twenty-three years ago)

and throw out the Yes LPs

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:18 (twenty-three years ago)

(insert joke about getting felt up by Felt LPs)

(insert joke about getting felt up by The Bee Gee's Odessa, with its felt cover)

Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:23 (twenty-three years ago)

(insert joke about inserting a butt plug up your anus)

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:42 (twenty-three years ago)

not for any good reason

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:43 (twenty-three years ago)

your humour is starting to get a little esoteric

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't know where else to go!

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Was that an insult?

Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:54 (twenty-three years ago)

which one?

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Send me your records. The Dorothy Parker LP will distract them by reciting her poems.

j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 05:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Dude just get a Television LP, they will only pretend to like the poetry for so long.

Aaron A., Wednesday, 29 January 2003 06:01 (twenty-three years ago)

the Nick Drake LPs will just sit in the corner and mumble occasionally, nothing to worry about there

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 06:02 (twenty-three years ago)

watch the double LPs

gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 06:04 (twenty-three years ago)

and don't get me started on the box sets

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 06:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Can you believe 7" is considered small, that is crazy

Aaron A., Wednesday, 29 January 2003 06:10 (twenty-three years ago)

replace 'em all with tapes and CDs

M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 06:31 (twenty-three years ago)

or better yet, do the MP3 thing that's so popular with all the kids these days

M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 06:32 (twenty-three years ago)

But I like it when it gives me a pop (and hiss).

Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 15:02 (twenty-three years ago)


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