Joe Millionaire: subtitled BJ?

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what WAS going on in the bushes on that first date? a lot of "slurp" and female moaning, and then when JM dropped the blonde off at her door, he just sorta pecked her, which sorta implied that maybe there was something that had been in her mouth that he didn't germs from in his mouth

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Dammit! I missed what sounds like the best episode. Fox sez they're re-airing it on Thursday. Must remember to watch.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I heard she was tossing his salad.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:19 (twenty-three years ago)

All acts of fellatio/cunnilingus should always be subtitled.

The "gulp" caption was the one that tipped me off something MORE was going on in them woods.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:22 (twenty-three years ago)

So, she's like guaranteed to win, huh?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:32 (twenty-three years ago)

What about when she says, "Would it be easier if I lay down?"

HUH??? WHat about THEM APPLES???

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I only watched part of that show last night - I had never seen it before - and it was f'in hilarious. Afterwards, I role-played with my bf a wee bit where I pretended to be the other blonde reading him my special poem about our love and us getting married and him continuously cutting away to the confessional mode, "When she said that line about getting married, it totally freaked me out..."

ha ha

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:34 (twenty-three years ago)

have we talked about whether this is somehow related to 'rape'? I mean it's the network and the guy misrepresenting themselves in and then there's actual sex involved?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I agree, Spencer. But also it's like all those other reality tv shows where a guy has to pick his favorite. Of COURSE sex is involved. It's like - Put out or get out, sweetie pie.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Also, when one of the ladies last night asked him what he was planning to do with his money, he cut away to confessional with, "When she started asking me about my money, it really freaked me out because it makes me think she only cares about the money and not about me. So I decided she was ready for me to kiss her..."

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I think the editors of that show are taking hella-liberties with that stuff. I didn't actually hear anything that sounded like a "slurp" or a "gulp" or a "chortle" or nothing, they just flash those words on the screen and we're all like "Oh my God!" Totally all about the editing.

Like when Evan & Zora were out on their date and he said something about her being straight out of a Disney movie and they just showed a whole pastiche of cute cuddly animals in slow-mo set to touching music. For nearly 5 minutes straight. HULLO!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Didnt they tell the girls there was something up with him just not what?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I wonder if he had on an 8-Ball jacket and nothing else.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Like Puddy?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you think maybe that during his construction worker days he didn't wear his hardhat?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Didnt they tell the girls there was something up with him just not what?

They told the girls he only has one ball.

(This may not be true.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:39 (twenty-three years ago)

yup like the Puddy. High Five!

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:40 (twenty-three years ago)

They told the girls he only has one ball.

And its on the back of his multi colored leather coat.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:40 (twenty-three years ago)

That lead dude is so totally unconvincing. I guess he's got the big-jaw thing going which some ladies like but yech. They could have found someone easily just a cute but just a little brighter at least? Or maybe they wanted someone too dumb to be able to keep the show's secret?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:43 (twenty-three years ago)

He keeps going on about how he's trying to figure out which girls are just in it for the cash, and then he keeps the ones that SO obviously are.
Also, if Zora's so "pure of heart", what the hell is she doing on such a slimy show in the first place?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I wonder if he had on an 8-Ball jacket and nothing else.

"all signs point to yes"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Did you see the part where the curly-haired one said that she was a "mercenary" at heart?

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:50 (twenty-three years ago)

The twist will be that he's a rich guy pretending to be a poor guy pretending to be a rich guy. That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:51 (twenty-three years ago)

re: mercenary at heart
AND NOBODY (on the show) BLINKED

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Curly Sue also said she wanted to go to Africe to "bathe the children" I dunno, maybe there shoulda been subtitles for that too

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:53 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed she said "mercenary at heart" when I think she was aiming for "missionary". I had previously attributed that wrongly to the fact I was hellahigh.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe she's the Mole. No wait, wrong show.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Did you see the part where the curly-haired one said that she was a "mercenary" at heart?

This was not only hysterical but probably also (unintentionally)truthful.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:22 (twenty-three years ago)

That's why it was so funny, Nicole.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 15:18 (twenty-three years ago)

It's called IRONY

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 15:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Irony is dead. The pundits said so!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 15:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Irony is dead! LONG LIVE PLASTICKY!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:14 (twenty-three years ago)

The Fox Network has singlehandedly done more for irony than Janeane Garofalo (sp???) could if she was prez of the USA.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Check this out

― Kerry (dymaxia), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 20:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Good work, Kerry!

I thought I recognized her... ha ha

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 20:38 (twenty-three years ago)

YES! Kerry delivers! Best link evah!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 20:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Dang! TSG rules, I always neglect it, but it always pays off.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 20:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Dear lord.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 21:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Well we see she's a foot fetishist and bondage freak....whats next Evan unveils that he is really a Bukakke fan.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 30 January 2003 15:32 (twenty-three years ago)

All of these matchmaker reality shows should include at least one bondage/fetish film star, like a "Where's Waldo?" for the TV sleeze set.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 30 January 2003 16:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Wow I got to see this episode last night... Oh my god. Mojo's puzzle and poem were the most hilarous things ever! I CHOOSE YOU. Brilliant that she could manage to creep out Putty (although he still made out with him, what a tart he is!).

"I guess he couldn't handle the Mojo."

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 31 January 2003 19:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Please don't say that again.

― jm (jtm), Friday, 31 January 2003 21:01 (twenty-three years ago)

That.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 January 2003 21:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I just realized I said "he still made out with him" instead of "her." Dammit. But you already knew he's not gay.

http://www.acidlogic.com/graphics/mojo.jpg
MOJO

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 31 January 2003 21:10 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.junkyville.com/content/information/pets/mojo.gif
MOJO

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 31 January 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.ijamming.net/NewFiles/Moon/Mojo.jpg
MOJO

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 31 January 2003 21:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Can somebody post the obvious one now, please?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 January 2003 21:14 (twenty-three years ago)

(Austin Powers or the Powerpuff Girls villian?)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 January 2003 21:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Either.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 January 2003 21:15 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.hojoocala.com/images/hjinn.jpg

― gygax!, Friday, 31 January 2003 21:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 61 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Sorry we got distracted with the Mojo et. al. pics (pretty cool huh?). Man what a great episode. I think Zora's got it wrapped up cuz there's obviously something there and she's way more pure of heart than Miss Non-Nude-Bondage-Films.

My favorite part was when he said, "Maybe she's a psychic or something." PUTTY! Oh and when he said, "Did you get that *breast* in Paris?"

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 14:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Did you get that *breast* in Paris?
He's so classy! HA!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 14:32 (twenty-three years ago)

The funny thing is, he kept going on about how he's a Leg Man, but he's so obviously a Breast Man. He doesn't even have that much self-awareness.
Of course, when I pointed this out to my GF, she countered with the obvious, "so which are you?" Damn smart women.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 15:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I loved when he was on the beach with Melissa watching the sun set and talking to her about some guy getting an infection and getting an appendage amputated or something. Totally smooth, dude, totally smooth.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

He also needs help sculpting his eyebrows. They're freaky, yo.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 15:22 (twenty-three years ago)

and melissa was saying how romantic it was on the beach with him! ha!

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 18:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Zora's got it in the bag--that weirdo Sarah is a freak. But I guess they all are. And I feel sorry for Zora if she gets picked because Evan is a tard.

― Mandee, Tuesday, 4 February 2003 19:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Is Evan his real name? It would be funnier if it was John Smith. As you'll remember:

"I had a dream last night that it turned out your name wasn't Evan... It was John something or other..."

"John Smith? Was it John Smith??"

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 20:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I think she was trying to say John Corbett, like the dude from Northern Exposure and My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but he was oddly fixated on John Smith. Maybe that's the name he uses when he rents nudity-free bondage videos.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 20:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I love the part where Melissa said "And then the sun setted...".

Also, the "Maybe she's PSYCHIC or somethin!" was pretty hilarious too.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 23:33 (twenty-three years ago)

She is a mercenary after all.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 00:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I command thee:

REVIVE!

― jm (jtm), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 03:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Looks as though the rumour about him actually being rich could be true. 2 hours next week to get to that, though?

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 04:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Last night's episode was SO uninteresting. It was basically a clips show. And then you didn't even get to know who he picked.

So, who's it gonna be?

He seems much more into Sarah than Zora, but he might pick Zora because she seems less interested in money. Plus, she hasn't put out so he'd have something to look forward to...?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 14:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Argh I hate recap episodes. My guess about the twist is that they give him a bunch of money.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 14:30 (twenty-three years ago)

If he does pick Zora, it'll be for all the wrong reasons. Poetic Justice needs him to pick Sarah, and to stay poor.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 14:45 (twenty-three years ago)

It would def be more interesting if he picked Sarah since she's in it for the money fo' sho'. I bet she'd totally blow up at him when he told her the truth.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 14:55 (twenty-three years ago)

1) Some or all of the characters are acting

Joe Millionaire in interview : "some of these girls should get Emmys"
2) At least one of the women (Zora?) has at least a million bucks. The joke is on poor Joe.

Zora in recaps, "why try to be someone that I'm not? That would be too much work
3) It is quite possible that the Sarah "bondage" photos are fake.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 14:59 (twenty-three years ago)

4) It is no accident that Melissa said she was a "mercenary".

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Joe keeps talking about how he'll have to break it to them. Doesn't he only have to tell the woman he chooses? This makes me think that he's going to tell both of them at the same time as some sort of cop-out on picking one. Like, Here's the truth, now who wants me?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, cuz when they show him "revealing" himself (heh heh) sometimes he's looking left, sometimes right.
But he has to pick Sarah, because he got a hummer frummer. And that (and the promise of future bjs) is better than gold.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:14 (twenty-three years ago)

The surprise is that Evan is looking for a mommy, not a wife. His dad is the butler.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:14 (twenty-three years ago)

The Butler actually owns the chateau maybe?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:15 (twenty-three years ago)

The butler is Australian.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Point being?

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Austrailians just like to hang out in the wilderness with crocodiles and live peacefully poor, right?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought he was/is a kiwi.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, there was that one tramp who was always talking to him in French, and I think by FOX Network logic, anyone with an accent = high class, but the Aus (or NZ, as it may be) accent is more commonly identified by people outside the USA with ruggedness
I'm just saying, they're trying to sell him as the snooty Brit, when I suspect HE's the one who just inherited $50 Million, probably from his uncle Rupert.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Who isn't dead (far as I know), so how could he inherit? Rules of the Outback, Sheila!

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think his woman of choice will necessarily be rich, b/c how would FOX know who he would pick?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Muah-hah-hah-hah....

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:54 (twenty-three years ago)

FOX knows all. Isn't their logo an all-seeing eye?
http://www.howardweinberg.net/priority/CBS%20Eye.jpg

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe the surprise is that Joe has an STD and has given it to most women on the show?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Uh, that's the CBS logo. Or was that a joke?

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 16:11 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, I likes the jokes.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 16:13 (twenty-three years ago)

More gossip that I've heard:

Zora's last name (so we're told) is And-RICH. Her mom is an astrologer. The Joe Millionaire site has lots of astrology on it. I also heard that you're supposed to watch the ads for clues, but that's probably to get people to pay more attention to the ads.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 16:20 (twenty-three years ago)

watch the ads for clues, yeah, clues that you're a grade A sucker!

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 16:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh no Illuminati oh no!!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 16:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Last night most of the ads were for wedding rings and Sweet HOme Alabama on video/dvd.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 17:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I haven't seen SHA, but some of the Valentine's themed ads seem a little wonky. Like they show how her NYC beau is all romantic, but doesn't the story hinge on her falling back in love with her hillbilly husband? I mean, hence the damn title?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 18:11 (twenty-three years ago)

it's pretty obvious that the twist is joe millionaire picking the butler

― jack (sweatypalms1234), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 18:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Horace-
Got bilked into seeing SHA by gfriend and her family. It's one of those lame romantic comedies (like Sleepless in Seattle) where the fiancee gets dumped despite being perfect in every way (handsome, rich, understanding, kind, etc.) because he is not the "true love." This irks me beyond all reason. Somehow it is still supposed to be "romantic," because we all know that being dependable and reliable is not romantic, being quirky and irresponsible is romantic.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:05 (twenty-three years ago)

stealin' back to my same old used to be...SMO MO!
http://www.no-nic.com/images/Smoking_Monkey-small.jpg

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:13 (twenty-three years ago)

hahahaha... Fox TOTALLY mislead me shockah!

Viewers Vent Over 'Joe Millionaire'
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Filed at 9:50 a.m. ET

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Viewers were fuming and David Letterman was cracking wise about Fox promotions for ``Joe Millionaire'' that seemed to promise more than the show delivered.

Evan Marriott didn't make the final choice between would-be loves Sarah and Zora Monday night, although network hints seemed to indicate that he would. Instead, the episode was mostly a recap.

``We got duped. We totally got duped,'' viewer Cynthia Wiggin of San Carlos said Wednesday. She dismissed the episode as ``Total filler. A whole filler night.''

CBS' ``Late Show'' with Letterman showed a familiar video clip Tuesday of Osama bin Laden speaking in a cave -- but this time, he supposedly was fuming about Fox.

``The treachery of the infidels has reached a new height,'' said a voiceover offering a mock translation. ``We had been led to believe that last night would be the finale of 'Joe Millionaire.'''

Fox said it didn't intend to suggest Marriott was going to make his decision.

``The payoff was always going to be on Feb. 17,'' spokesman Scott Grogin said Tuesday. ``It's possible we were a little over the top with our promos and we're sorry if people felt misled.''

A chat board on Fox's official ``Joe Millionaire'' Web site was smoking with comments from angry fans.

``I really don't know if I am going to watch the last show or not,'' one person wrote. ``At this point I am soooo mad I don't care who wins. Anyone else feel this way?''

``No, I will not watch the finale,'' read a subsequent posting. ``Fox has lied to us, and I feel that they should be punished for that. ... Bad move, guys. It will be a while before I put my trust back into Fox.''

Grogin said the network hopes any upset viewers would reconsider.

``We would hope that our audience will tune in. If they do they will not be disappointed,'' said Grogin, who promised that next Monday's two-hour finale would contain surprises.

Even the pros found Fox's approach misleading. The entertainment news magazine ``Access Hollywood'' had reported Monday that Marriott's decision would be revealed that night.

``It just shows how low it can go,'' said ``Access Hollywood'' executive producer Rob Silverstein. ``I thought it was pretty blatant and I think it upset quite a number of people. It upset us.''

In return, Silverstein said, the newsmagazine's Pat O'Brien ``ripped 'em twice'' in reports Tuesday.

``Joe Millionaire'' itself is built on a lie. The women vying for Marriott's affections think he's worth $50 million when, according to Fox, he's really making $19,000 a year as a construction worker.

``I think that when people get involved in these unscripted shows these days, they know they're in for a ride,'' Gail Berman, Fox's entertainment president, said last month in defending the concept.

^------

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I can't believe anyone would trust Fox!

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:22 (twenty-three years ago)

"TV lied to me! I feel so.... violated! Now I know how Zora must feel. [sniff]"

(mislead -> misled)

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Ha!
Those FOX fans' lives must be pretty easy going if something like this makes them FUME.

"God damn you, FOX! You are a fucking liar! A LIAR! YOU LIE!!!!"

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:27 (twenty-three years ago)

The whole thing is going to turn out to be a hoax anyway. Besides, I thought people who watch the show knew that this week wasn't the week?

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Possibly Cynthia Wiggin needs a life.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 13 February 2003 16:09 (twenty-three years ago)

possibly? seriously

EM was on regis and kelly yesterday. he seemed really uncomfortable. don't they give these people media training?

― maura (maura), Thursday, 13 February 2003 16:14 (twenty-three years ago)

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