Have you ever wanked to Teletext?

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When your team was scoring loads of goals or something?

How low do you stoop if you have no other material available?

RJG does it to Columbo.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:27 (twenty-three years ago)

can't you freaks just use your own imagination? sometimes i despair...

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:30 (twenty-three years ago)

''RJG does it to Columbo.''

b-but what's wrong with his wife?!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I've winked at it.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, I didn't know Columbo was married. Julio, who are you to enforce YOUR preferences on OTHERS?

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:32 (twenty-three years ago)

julio, you never see mrs. columbo.

and nick is generalising--it depends on the guest murderer.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:32 (twenty-three years ago)

You never see Mrs Columbo, except in her own TV series of course where she is played by Captain Janeway out of Voyager.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:38 (twenty-three years ago)

his dog is in it a few times.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:39 (twenty-three years ago)

''julio, you never see mrs. columbo.''

er...I know.

''Hey, I didn't know Columbo was married. Julio, who are you to enforce YOUR preferences on OTHERS?''

do u watch it or what? everyone knows that he has a wife.

The fact that you can't see her maximises wanking potential. oh yes.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, there's this chick that hangs around and they call her Mrs Columbo but is she his *wife*?

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:41 (twenty-three years ago)

the one time i saw him hanging around with a woman was that copper...she was a lovely looking ginger-haired copper.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:44 (twenty-three years ago)

> Yeah, there's this chick that hangs around and they call her Mrs Columbo but is she his *wife*?

Or just a pathetic wank fantasy of his?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:45 (twenty-three years ago)

cop this, copper-haired copper

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:46 (twenty-three years ago)

said columbo

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:46 (twenty-three years ago)

And then he copped off with her.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Or by 'cop this' did you mean 'Columbo opened his raincoat to reveal his withered truncheon'?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:50 (twenty-three years ago)

I seem to have stumbled into making Columbo fan fic.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:51 (twenty-three years ago)

keep...going.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Ahah... Ahah...

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry I've already come and now find the whole concept repugnant.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:53 (twenty-three years ago)

same old story.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Three minutes? Your 'concentration' must have waned at some point.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I must mention that there was in fact an "adult" section of ITV (or possibly Channel 4) Teletext in 1993, called "After Dark". It was broadcast between 11pm and 6am, and ran for about 3 months before being taken off air for a "rethink" - but it never came back. I seem to remember it being mostly agony aunt pages, features on sex toys and once there was this article about a man who wasn't bothered about finding a girlfriend as he claimed that "my right hand and I are happily married".

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 23:22 (twenty-three years ago)

That was N.

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 23:24 (twenty-three years ago)

It's sex with someone I love.

― Ally C (Ally C), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 23:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Ally C is not my right hand, in case anyone was wondering.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 23:55 (twenty-three years ago)

six years pass...

RIP

― DavidM, Saturday, 18 July 2009 08:54 (sixteen years ago)

No more Planet Sound from January! That's been part of my morning ritual for 15-odd years.

― nate woolls, Saturday, 18 July 2009 09:04 (sixteen years ago)

Have you ever wanked to Oracle?

― jed_, Saturday, 18 July 2009 09:30 (sixteen years ago)

what a disaster for masturbators.

― easily-led zeppelin (haitch), Saturday, 18 July 2009 09:50 (sixteen years ago)

No link to Teletext Babez on this thread? http://drx.a-blast.org/~drx/projects/teletext/index.en.html

― StanM, Saturday, 18 July 2009 10:04 (sixteen years ago)

Have you ever climaxed to Ceefax?

― grocery groin (snoball), Saturday, 18 July 2009 10:05 (sixteen years ago)

(xpost) I didn't think that anything could be sadder than Babestation, but teletext pr0n manages it.

― grocery groin (snoball), Saturday, 18 July 2009 10:08 (sixteen years ago)

Bodenstandig 2000, there's a name from the vaults!

― Pissed Jenas (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 18 July 2009 10:23 (sixteen years ago)

what a disaster for masturbators.

what a master for disasturbators

― grocery groin (snoball), Saturday, 18 July 2009 10:40 (sixteen years ago)

four months pass...

We knew Teletext was set to suffer an early demise, but owner Daily Mail and General Trust just pulled the plug even earlier than expected. Hope you said your fond farewells, as the service switches off from tomorrow.

http://www.electricpig.co.uk/2009/12/14/teletext-killed-off-early/

― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 15 December 2009 13:27 (sixteen years ago)

mine has already disappeared, as has my Ceefax (which I don't think was supposed to happen yet? The late night pages from Ceefax thing is still on. I've been screwed over). Now I have to get all my old-fashioned TV text kicks from UK Gold subtitling. It's not the same. :'(

― FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 15 December 2009 13:31 (sixteen years ago)

Is the BBC version Ceefax? It's rubbish in comparison.

― Sonny Uplands (Tom D.), Tuesday, 15 December 2009 13:32 (sixteen years ago)

What a choker.

― We should have called Suzie and Bobby (NickB), Tuesday, 15 December 2009 13:34 (sixteen years ago)

going to have to give it a one gun salute

― HUH? not appropriate (snoball), Tuesday, 15 December 2009 13:47 (sixteen years ago)

moc-moc-a-moc

― zappi, Tuesday, 15 December 2009 13:56 (sixteen years ago)

In a parting message, Manic Street Preachers' Nicky Wire paid tribute to Planet Sound by saying: "I love the feel of books and records, and I loved the feel of the remote control to give me information." Elsewhere, the Beautiful South's Paul Heaton voiced his support: "I refuse to accept that Teletext won't be with us any more. I'm going to carry on pressing the text button on my TV, like a dog who can't understand that his owner's dead."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2009/dec/15/teletext-planet-sound

― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 16 December 2009 12:31 (sixteen years ago)

Like that Paul Heaton quote, top marks there

― Sonny Uplands (Tom D.), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 13:00 (sixteen years ago)

pour one out on a blocky kerb-like graphic

― no mate bruce springsteen is the american jimmy barnes (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 13:04 (sixteen years ago)

thrrrss rsss rrrr frrrggnn trrrvsssttyy

― poster x (ledge), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 13:11 (sixteen years ago)

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