Emile Heskey

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ah, what a man, I've backed him all alongas part of my positive contrarianism and it's paying off. He's been bloody marvellous in the last few games, in defence as well as up front.

Bow before him.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 30 January 2003 11:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I hate him.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 30 January 2003 11:53 (twenty-three years ago)

how did I know this would be your thread?!

― Vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 30 January 2003 11:53 (twenty-three years ago)

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Football/Pix/gallery/2002/09/20/heskers10.jpg

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 30 January 2003 11:53 (twenty-three years ago)

what's happened to Owen ? He didn't look too chuffed last night.

I still think the 'Pool were lucky to get the draw even though they started off the better side.

― Fuzzy (Fuzzy), Thursday, 30 January 2003 11:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Is that original picture "Different Strokes" ?

― Fuzzy (Fuzzy), Thursday, 30 January 2003 11:56 (twenty-three years ago)

The game swung between the teams all the way through. Owebn has turned into a one trick pony though anmd that's been realised by most decent keepers, it's always the placed shot into the right side of the goal, middle to upper, you can see him shaping up for it every time he has the ball. Push him out towards the left and you've got him. A shame really but it's clear to see.

What was up with Henry last night anyway, he may have been fast but he was pretty wasteful too.

What you talking about Abel?

― chris (chris), Thursday, 30 January 2003 11:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I've always backed him too, I remember the conversations last year. Basically it's the same old story, he can play great and get no credit cos he's been doing donkey work like winning the ball up front etc. The Man United 1-0 last year was a game in which he really showed this off, he was fantastic. Nice to see someone getting some goals, still the league feels like a write off at this stage, slim chance of a Champions League spot I suppose.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 30 January 2003 13:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Remember what happened to Gary Coleman.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 30 January 2003 13:49 (twenty-three years ago)

he had a starring role in a Simpsons episode?

― chris (chris), Thursday, 30 January 2003 13:57 (twenty-three years ago)

We could have done with Emile Heskey last night. AFCW 0 - 3 Barkingside. Sob!

― Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:18 (twenty-three years ago)

'Barkingside'? Who are they?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:27 (twenty-three years ago)

"exacccchhhhly!"

― Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:28 (twenty-three years ago)

he had a starring role in a Simpsons episode?

= he'll drop into obscurity for a while when no one will want him, then pop up as a sub for Leeds Utd (great in the early 90s, only occasionally brilliant since).

I'd be more worried about Little Mikey Owen considering Dana Plato's sad demise.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah, I didn't realise that was Michael Owen's face - I thought that really was Kimberley. Whose face is that over the housekeeper?

― Alfie (Alfie), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:40 (twenty-three years ago)

I just realised it's Phil Thompson, hahahaha.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:45 (twenty-three years ago)

N. - Barkingside

Mark - Barkingside person in bar last night: "They got only started AFC Wimbledon because the geezer behind it is fackin' minted."

Arf.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:49 (twenty-three years ago)

I was talking to an old Wimbledon season ticket holder last night and he has simply given up, and now does other things on a Saturday afternoon. I think it's kinda sad.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Love that photo!!
AFCW sitch is madness. Friend of mine is a former season ticket holder. I attended a few matches last season ... he's gutted.
Also feel sorry for some of the players who have no say in the matter.

Anyone care to name a best starting XI for Liverpool?

― Android (Android Elvis), Thursday, 30 January 2003 15:40 (twenty-three years ago)

It doesn't have either Smicer or Diouf in it, that's for sure.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 30 January 2003 15:45 (twenty-three years ago)

right now:

Dudek (only due to Kirkland's injury)

Henchoz Hyppia Carragher

Diao Hamann Riise

Murphy Gerrard

Owen Heskey

Controversial? yes, but I'd like to see how they got on playing this formation

― chris (chris), Thursday, 30 January 2003 15:51 (twenty-three years ago)

blooming formatting

― chris (chris), Thursday, 30 January 2003 15:51 (twenty-three years ago)

a 3-3-2-1? despite the whole problem being lack of width?

i like diao a lot but fitting him in is a problem

solution = play litmanen!! oh wait

― zemko (bob), Thursday, 30 January 2003 16:53 (twenty-three years ago)

It was more of a 3-5-2 butmy formatting went to pot.

If you're at the FAP tonight I will expound my theory using beermats and ashtrays.

Please do not taunt me with your talk of Litmanen, I miss him so much.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 30 January 2003 17:11 (twenty-three years ago)

It's been all downhill for Heskey since he left Leicester.

Chris, will LITTLE RABBIT and THE OTHER ONE get a look in now Van Gaal's gone? (I think I've found that cava bar.)

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Thursday, 30 January 2003 21:30 (twenty-three years ago)

chris, yr team has *four* central midfielders. houllier seems to be to central midfielders now what george graham was to centre halves in the late 80s/early 90s. something to do with his safety first mindset. most of our defenders are naturally central too. it's nigh on impossible to pick a best eleven with the squad of players we have as there are too many square pegs in round holes. heskey, though, would certainly be in there.

― michael wells (michael w.), Friday, 31 January 2003 15:31 (twenty-three years ago)

though houliier will never ever play 3 at tha back i think diao might make a fine right wing back

― zemko (bob), Friday, 31 January 2003 15:48 (twenty-three years ago)

five months pass...

He scored a goal!

― the pinefox, Thursday, 17 July 2003 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

Please Emile, don't leave.

― chris (chris), Friday, 16 January 2004 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

When Heskey was underperforming GH kept going on about how good he was. Now that Heskey is man of the match for every game, GH has bought a new striker and is thinking of selling the big man. Now, I ask you... It wasn't like this when Roy Evans was in charge!

― run it off (run it off), Friday, 16 January 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

every pundit and every opposing manager always says how good he is, but the general public always say how crap he is. He's a puzzle wrapped in an enigma. Which is why I think he's so great.

― chris (chris), Friday, 16 January 2004 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

You have a hugely injury-prone strike force and are bringing in an admittedly great player untested in the Premiership. In order to do so, you are selling the one attacking player who will be fit for every game. Gerard, you are a mentaliste.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 16 January 2004 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

You don't win trophies in football for mystery, though, do you!

― run it off (run it off), Friday, 16 January 2004 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Gerard, you are a mentaliste!

Give the job to Phil Thompson so we can get rid of the superfluous 'e'

― run it off (run it off), Friday, 16 January 2004 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

(sorry, who else have they bought? have they finally got hold of cisse?)

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 16 January 2004 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, but not til the summer

― chris (chris), Friday, 16 January 2004 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

with Cisse on his way, the rumour is that Heskey will be sold to make room for him in the team and to cover the costs (wages etc) and all that.

― run it off (run it off), Friday, 16 January 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Why don't they sell El Nadge Chuff instead?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 16 January 2004 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

nobody wants him

― run it off (run it off), Friday, 16 January 2004 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe we can palm off Diouff to West Ham or Leeds (swap for Smith and a couple of quid)?

― run it off (run it off), Friday, 16 January 2004 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

throw in a satsuma and it's a deal

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 16 January 2004 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Surely his star hasn't faded that much outside the Premiership? Is a move to the French league that out of the question?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 16 January 2004 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

meanwhile perhaps Mr Okocha should get in touch with that nice Nigerian businessman who keeps e-mailing me

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 16 January 2004 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Is Cisse's move the most protracted in history? And also, despite everything and all the stories, no-one still knows how to pronounce his firstname.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 16 January 2004 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

jib-rill

it's not that hard

― chris (chris), Friday, 16 January 2004 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

is is jib-reel or jib-rhyll?

― run it off (run it off), Friday, 16 January 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

rhyll

my French correspondent has confirmed it.

and it's more of a soft J sound though on the first syllable

― chris (chris), Friday, 16 January 2004 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

presumably the emphasis is on the second syllable

― run it off (run it off), Friday, 16 January 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Ludo gives them equal emphasis

― chris (chris), Friday, 16 January 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

the Kop will still call him D'Breeeeeeel

― run it off (run it off), Friday, 16 January 2004 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Come ed Djibril lad...

― Koppite (daveb), Friday, 16 January 2004 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

four months pass...

Liverpool have parted company with club record signing Emile Heskey who has signed for Premiership side Birmingham City on Tuesday morning.

Heskey was signed by Gerard Houllier for a club record £11 million from Leicester City in February 2000 and in his first full season at the club scored 22 goals as Liverpool celebrated the treble.

He scored a goal in the 3-2 victory over Bayern Munich in Monaco as Liverpool won the Super Cup the following season, then had one of his best games in a red shirt as he scored in a 2-0 win over Roma in the Champions League on a famous night at Anfield.

Heskey has signed a five-year contract with Birmingham.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 18 May 2004 08:22 (twenty-two years ago)

just don't alright, I'm gutted enough

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 18 May 2004 08:26 (twenty-two years ago)

it's terrible.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 18 May 2004 08:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Birmingham are going for Muzzy Izzett as well. Is Steve Bruce consciously trying to turn them into Leicester City circa 1999?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 18 May 2004 08:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Here's to Emile Mk II!

http://www.djibrilcisse.net/djibril.jpg

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 18 May 2004 08:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Djibril's a wonderful player, but he hasn't got that certain something that Mr Em has. it's really really sad. If I won the lottery I'd buy Emile.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 18 May 2004 08:36 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.lfchistory.net/images/profiles/player_heskey.jpg

And once more

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39088000/jpg/_39088195_heskgoalpa.jpg

I hope he has a great European Championships.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 18 May 2004 08:37 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...

first goal for emile at birmingham, he seems to be bedding in nicely.

elevated to status that he didn't have the quality to live up to (not good enough for title-chasing team and england) - folks acted like he possessed *no* qualities *at all* - which was unfair.

now back at a level more suited to his abilities (mid table uefa chaser) his qualities will be better appreciated. he is a good premiership player. i am pleased for him - the level of criticism was unwarranted, perhaps now a sensible balance can be restored?

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I miss him

― Porkpie (porkpie), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 07:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate him, mainly due to him costing us the game last night.

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 07:50 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/internationals/england/4366795.stm

discuss

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Sunday, 20 March 2005 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

dioufy is a better player

― charltonlido (gareth), Monday, 21 March 2005 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think this is a good thing for England.

― M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 21 March 2005 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't think it is true, about Diouf

with Owen, Rooney and Defoe all vaguely in form, plus Johnson, i can't see Heskey actually getting on the pitch in any case

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Monday, 21 March 2005 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

just to hijack this thread a bit, but im curious: does any one here think johsnon actually is good enough to be in the england lineup?

hes very fast, opportunist, and a ecent penalty taker, which are all great attributes for a struggling team that cant really afford to play anyone up front with him, and who needs any goals they can get.
but this is obviously a very different situation with the england team. as a palace fan, i have grave doubts that he i suited to playing for england in his current state, and that the surrounding hype is in danger of engulfing him and ruining palaces chances of survival, however slim they are.

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 21 March 2005 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

he's not really proven at international level yet but certainly deserves his chance based on stats

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Monday, 21 March 2005 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

AJ is the new Michael Ricketts. One prolific season with newly promoted team, gets England call-up, fades into distance next season. Happens every year seemingly. Look how Phillips disappeared also(admittedly he may yet re-surface, but not if the Sun have anything to do with it after their little expose today)

― ceebee, Monday, 21 March 2005 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

When you've got a relative glut of world-class forwards, it seems a waste of space to drag a below-par chap along as well. For all means give him some international experience in friendlies, but when the nitty gritty starts don't even bother putting him on the coach.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Monday, 21 March 2005 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I agree with Chris re: Johnson but considering he's on form NOW he might still have a minor part to play. Can't imagine wanting him on the pitch in a competitive game ahead of Owen, Rooney and Defoe although I certainly wouldn't want Heskey on there either.

I'd still go for Owen-Rooney-Defoe-Smith as the first choice strikers.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 21 March 2005 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Elsewhere on ILE: Deconstruction, Post-Structuralism & Emile Heskey

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 21 March 2005 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

do you really think smith is a better striker than johnson?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 21 March 2005 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I would quite like to see Peter Crouch in the squad!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 21 March 2005 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

james beattie is not in the running anymore is he?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 21 March 2005 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with Jerry the Nipper!

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Monday, 21 March 2005 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Crouch is playing really well at the moment. Johnson has scored a lot of goals in a poor team, which is a strong recommendation of his talents - if Owen got injured in a game, I think Johnson would be a decent sub. Though I'd send Defoe on first, ahead of him, to be honest. Crouch is a very different player, and I can see him causing an opposition defence set up for Rooney and Owen some new problems. Smith's a good second or third striker, but his goalscoring record isn't so great. What's happened to Vassell?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 21 March 2005 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

once again people, how many of johnsons goals were penalties?

― charltonlido (gareth), Monday, 21 March 2005 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

He was injured, Vassell. I don't think he is now, but it's hard to tell.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Monday, 21 March 2005 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd say about a third of AJs goals were pens, I know he got a brace of them a couple of games ago.

Crouch for England??? erm, no.

Emile for EnglaND - always. He has his confidence back now, and Liverpool shopuld never have sold him.

― ceebee, Monday, 21 March 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i think 7 out of 15 are penalties. not sure about that tho

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 21 March 2005 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Smudger's record for Man Utd at the start of the season, when they were forced to play him in every game, was pretty impressive.

Since then he's been blighted by both injury and dropping down the pecking order after the Rooney signing and so just hasn't had the opportunity to impress. His lob from the halfway line on Saturday was great, and Van De Sar did bloody well to save it.

Johnson has had one good season but we see that happen time and time again to strikers who are generally unable to follow that up (see also Beattie, Phillips, Ricketts).

So yes, I think Smith is better than Johnson. And Heskey.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 21 March 2005 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I would have Crouch on the bench purely for last ten minute belt it up to the big lad scenarios.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 21 March 2005 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i like crouch. he is the prem's most improved plater. he has a deft touch, and is not the gangly donkey i once thought him to be.

johnson is overrated. a big rep built on penalties, mainly.

smith is also overrated. he holds the ball up well, and his touch has improved, but his goal record is poor. i don't think he is more than a good scrapper, really - skill and creativity are limited.

i like heskey. he deserves a squad place because he offers an alternative style of play, as opposed to (say) vassell, who is a less talented version of other good english strikers.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 21 March 2005 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

but Vassell's form for England was better than most other strikers. this is all a bit moot anyway because the top four strikers now seem pretty established ahead of the next World Cup.

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Monday, 21 March 2005 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tshirts365.com/store/thumbNail.asp?size=200&image=/store/catalog/Crouch2_detail.gif

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 21 March 2005 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Johnson has had more than one good season though surely.. wasn't he the top scorer of last season's divsion one?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 21 March 2005 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"wasn't he the top scorer of last season's divsion one?"

thats the crucial bit innit!

hes a good relegation type player, and a very good div 1 striker (our whole team, apart from maybe routledge, sorondo and er...kiraly? are a decent div 1 team). but england quality?

im just worried cos generally when this sort of shit goes down then he will want to leave, his form will be affected, and we will be fucked.

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 21 March 2005 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I was going to say, have you seen the defences in the Championship Ken? This is the league where Marlon Harewood can get best part of 20 goals a season......I think Kiraly may be Palaces best player, also from WEST Brom - Zoltan Gera is blooming marvellous. Hungary seems to be where it's at.

― ceebee, Monday, 21 March 2005 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

but kiraly is hopeless

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 21 March 2005 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

is Crouch a 'mouthbreather' then?

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Monday, 21 March 2005 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"but kiraly is hopeless"

does not compute. i would be interested to see what you based this on. apparently he made some mistake in that arsenal game. but as far as i can remember he has made almost no errors of any significance all the time hs played this season. if we didnt have him, we would be severly buggered. johnson might have got a lot of goals, but they would have ben useless if we hadnt been able to keep at least some clean sheets and kept scores down in some games.

kiraly is a bleedin legend!

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 21 March 2005 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe i've been watching the wrong games, but the times i saw kiraly he made some horriffic blunders. one example: he made two horrendous cock-ups against wales, playing for hungary. of course, this did not affect palace in any way, so it's a poor example.

i will cheerily admit that i haven't seen many full palace games this season, so my opinion is not that well-informed.

i think he may have been at fault for at least one of the goals when manyoo beat them 4-2.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Kiraly did a fullon Massimo Taibi against Chelsea at the weekend, through his hands and then through his legs. I felt sorry for him.

Johnson's a good relegation type player, and a very good div 1 striker... but england quality?

Bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy? I don't especially want Johnson to leave Palace but you won't know for sure how good he is until he plays for England in his proper position.

Its a bit like when people go "oh, McLaren/Allardyce/Curbishley have done brilliantly with limited resources but they wouldn't hack it at one of the top clubs". To which the reponse is, "well, we won't bloody know until one of them takes a chance on them".

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 10:48 (twenty-one years ago)

yeh its true, but im not really interested in furthering johnsons career after palace hahaha! i just dont want to see us get relegated and have to witness jordans final blustering diatribe against agents, the FA, hansen, everythign else, where he sponteaneously combusts in self righteous indignation.

wel;l actually im worried about the opposite effect, whereby young players who arent quite ready to move to a big club, get sort of pushed there by the media and then end up on the sidelines and playing for chesterfield in a couple of years. Im thinking mark kennedy here. I think johnson is also a prime candidate for such a scenario, and it would be a shame.

― ambrose (ambrose), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Chesterfield have never had former wonder kids playing for them, we've only just started to get decent clubs to loan us their upcoming players for sobbing out loud, all thanks to Mr MacFarland.

though apparently Marten Fulop from Tottenham didn't cover himself with glory at the weekend.

― ceebee, Tuesday, 22 March 2005 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

whereby young players who arent quite ready to move to a big club, get sort of pushed there by the media and then end up on the sidelines and playing for chesterfield in a couple of years. Im thinking mark kennedy here. I think johnson is also a prime candidate for such a scenario, and it would be a shame.

SCOTT PARKER TO THREAD!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Although Chesterfield might be pushing it...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

we'd take a chance on him.

Our best loan signing so far = Thomas Schnitzelsperger - played for us a couple of seasons ago and was class

― ceebee, Tuesday, 22 March 2005 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

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