To someone in here (You know who you are)

To this person,
When I was typing a search in Yahoo search about having sex with a slim bloke I came upon a thread that belonged to this site, it was titled roundish vs skinny men and It did not answer my question,So I thought I would join this site, post my question and gather my replies the next day,The reason why I posted my question was because I am engaged to be married to a slim man, and because of the way I was brought up, am not able to be intimate with him until my wedding night, so I asked people on here who would have an experience such as my question described, to tell me, and then perhaps I would have felt a bit more at ease with my situation, when all of a sudden you began hurting my feelings, I was already at a vulnerable state,I was not taking care of myself, being depressed,my hair was a mess and I posted a question about hair, and then my update, what you didnt know was all the time you were attacking me and hurting me, I was trying to defend myself without falling even more apart than I already was,But you didn't stop and your abuse kept coming and I was in even more pain than before, I didn't come here to be abused, and although this is just the net, I guess some people do not bother to think who could be the person on the other side reading what you were putting up, I began cutting myself again because of the things you said, and I had become more depressed and more thoughts of just ending it all came to mind, I was already hurt enough in the past 2 years, and having lost people due to death, which just caused me to become even more depressed and I then the worst thing of all that ever happened to me, was being raped, I did not expect it and I just wanted to give up then and there, I only kept living because I didnt want to hurt my family, and I didn't expect the massive ammounts of verbal abuse coming here and after my hair problem was fixed i thought it would be nice to generally let the people know the ones who gave me advice, my thanks and appreciation , but you ruined that as well, and my day, and i have a 3 inch gash upon my arm because as I was weak you went ahead and hurt me yet again and it was the only way i knew how to end the pain at that moment, Yes, I blame you for causing the scars that day and the other days i had to encounter your abuse.
like i said many times on here, i was ready to prove to you or anyone who doubted my gender by speaking over the mic, and that was the only way i knew how-but nobody took me on my offer, and you of course kept hurting me and abusing me, I don't know why I took your abuse, and kept coming back, perhaps its because i once had an abusive boyfriend, who used to hit me and practically made me take his abuse, and i guess the way your words appeared on my screen just told me to keep taking it, I was worthless, I was nothing but a joke, and the more i took, the more it hurt, the more it reminded me of what edward did to me and what i took from him, i cut myself some more,then i realized perhaps if i took a day off from reading your awful posts, i would stop cutting myself, and well for the while i did, but i felt like a victim again, because it was exactly what you wanted to do to me,was to make me run away, i thought well being nice didnt work, being rational didnt work, why not try being sarcastic and just rude whenever someone said something to hurt me, and it brought me nowhere,that just caused more trouble and more people hated me, when all i wanted was to be happy and friendly and welcomed.you made it possible for my attempt, my feeble, pathetic attempt at being happy and welcomed to be ruined before i even had a chance, like you wanted to,I hope it was worth it to you, and I hope that you got your pleasure out of doing what you did to me, because then at least the blood that spilt from my arms was not in vain.you are a monster.