So...are you scared?

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Because I am. I still am.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 18:54 (twenty-three years ago)

You're not alone, my friend. This whole week is going to be...something.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 18:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I am so angry and frustrated, and then I'm angry again on top of the previous anger because secretly I am a little afraid, and I'm going to Hawaii in a couple of days and will be away from boyfriend, source of all goodness. Pah.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think I'm beginning to have a panic attack, actually.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah Mike, I feel the same way. I suffer from panic disorder and to hear all this news is exactly what I don't need. I try to keep myself away from news/article about anything terrorism related. But then I think to myself, this is exactly what the "terrorists" want. To inflict terror to the masses. Even without doing anything they are accomplishing their goal.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:07 (twenty-three years ago)

So...I should stockpile food and water and prepare to spend 3 days locked in my bathroom?

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I live in Ormskirk. Do you know where that is? Neither do Ally Q.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not afraid of terrorism Michael. What can I do except live my life? On and after Sep 11th I've seen and felt so many ways that human beings can be excellent to each othe, even in this most swivel-headed city of them all. If you end up in some situation no one expects I know that the people around you will do every single thing they can - and then a few more - to help one another be safe and sound. Until that happens worrying about your personal safety just doesn't accomplish anything.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I completely agree with Tracer. I'm not afraid either. I just trust my instincts and those of the people around me to react accordingly in a bad situation. My advice: Ignore these messages (like I have been doing) until something specific comes along. Maybe try to have a decent amount of cash on you at all times. Other than that, just live your life!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Tracer is OTM. I mean today we get the news that troops are going to be patrolling Heathrow, just in case, nothing specific...I think this is the way it's going to be for a while, and we have to try and just get on with our lives.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:19 (twenty-three years ago)

question though - are there people for whom these new precautions make "just living their lives" more difficult? i mean certainly if you're prone to panic attacks the constant "ALERT" on every single fucking TV channel doesn't help AT ALL in ANY WAY

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I try to avoid TV mostly, which has certainly helped. But unfortunately, I'm sensitive enough such that these alerts do my head on a semi-regular basis. :(

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:31 (twenty-three years ago)

And I don't even live in NY. :(

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:32 (twenty-three years ago)

What are you all referring to? That link didn't work for me.

― chris sallis, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 21:30 (twenty-three years ago)

We are afraid of phe4r.

And I take back everything I said; the only thing I'm a little afraid of is the STUPID US GOVERNMENT. But mostly I'm just realllly peeved.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:23 (twenty-three years ago)

to be honest...i am

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I would not be at all surprised if the world were to end today, given the state of things.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I may be scared, but I don't think the world will end anytime soon.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Should we all just lez up while we still can?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:40 (twenty-three years ago)

I saw a poll on CNN earlier today - wish I could remember just what the stats were (who polled, when etc.), but it was international. The question was something along the lines of "Which Country is to be Most Feared?" (Sorry, that is a paraphrase - if anyone knows the right phrasing, please correct.)

The answers? (Again, approximated from memory)

23% Iraq
23% North Korea
32% The United States

(the last number is correct, the first two are approximations - sorry).

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:40 (twenty-three years ago)

I may be scared, but I don't think the world will end anytime soon.

I have watched too much Buffy obv.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Horrible things may happen, and I may be stupidly naive, but the amount of people in this world who would want things to remain peaeceful outweight those who don't, and I would think the former would prevent things from completely going to hell.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Tracer is OTM. At this point, I am all for lezzing up as much as humanly possible.

― Douglas (Douglas), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:42 (twenty-three years ago)

America *needs* to be feared. Why else would it have all those nuclear missiles?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:43 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not scared. Life is too damn short and too damn precious to waste fretting over something that is out of my control. They (the terrorists and the government) are not going to make me spend my days looking over my shoulder and panicking with every foreign sound or smell. Life goes on. If they attack, they attack. I am not in a position to stop their actions. So, Que sera, sera, as trite as that sounds. I'm gonna go hug my Glenn and then take my dogs for walkies and after that I'll make some split-pea soup and cornbread and then curl-up with a book and a cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows on top.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, it was a panic attack. Shortly after I posted my last message, I headed straight to Penn Station and took a train to my parent's place in Bay Shore. I'm feeling very mentally unkempt right now. And I feel like shit because my co-worker, who I love very dearly, was going to go on leave for a month next week and I don't know how this is going to affect that.

If you've read my blogs amd some of my other writings on the 'net, you'll know I have a history of very bad panic attacks and as you can imagine...well, I don't think I need to complete this thought.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 23:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Hmph. Today was supposed to be a HAPPY day, too re: Village Voice and all.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 23:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I am so not scared. In fact, beyond being socially aware of the concerns on a very impersonal level, I could not give a damn.

Does anyone else share my apathy?

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 23:24 (twenty-three years ago)

in a way.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 23:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Other than the brief mentions of alert colors & yadda yadda I've read / heard from various sources, I am blissfully unaware of the "impending danger" because I've made a semi-conscious decision to avoid any & all terra-related coverage, as the majority of said coverage strikes me as trumped-up pro-war propaganda I'm not interested in listening to / reading about. If shit happens, it happens - otherwise, I'd be worried about getting run over by cars & getting stabbed by random man X & having my car stolen & getting bit by a poisonous spider while taking a dump & lord knows what other types of shitty semi-randomness.

In other words, what all the pro-lezzies have said.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 00:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I have watched too much Buffy obv.

But Nicole, the prospect of the world ending is never all that scary on Buffy- "we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party" and all that.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 00:53 (twenty-three years ago)

David so is OTM there. Unplugging for awhile is not only necessary right now for continued health and well-being, it should be mandatory. If there is something *really* important, you'll find out about it soon enough, you don't need the constant media drum beating to amplify your anxiety.

Mike, have a beer and a chili dog on me.

― Chris Barrus (xibalba), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 00:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm afraid the damage to my well-being is already done. Tomorrow morning I'm going to see if my psychiatrist can put me back on anti-depressants.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 01:33 (twenty-three years ago)

take it easy Mike, hopefully you can just try and live your life the way many people around the world do - in spite of the myriad of ways we could die (hit by car, carcrash, bomb, extreme weather, electrocution etc.) you can only shrug and take it as a sign that life has to be lived to the full however best you can do that

take care of yourself, and each other...

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 01:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I mean, I know myself, I know my limits, and I know that I cannot just shut my brain down and chill out. Even before 9/11, I obsessed about terrorism on the homeland, so I don't need the nagging reminders by my government that ANNIHILATING DEATH IS IMMINENT (especially if you live in New York City) (but noooo, there's no need to panic) (trust us) (even though we cannot help you) in order to agonize.

If you want to know, I feel 'better' now, meaning I have that sluggish trapped-in-amber feeling I'll likely feel for weeks afterwards -- save for more panic attacks, which are also likely.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 01:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry if I sound bitter. It's not directed towards any of you.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 01:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Michael - do try to get back on the anti-depressants. I know that they're not a cure-all, but they might take off enough of the edge of the attacks to allow you to function. I know I have to take them before certain situations that otherwise I'd be curled into a ball over.

Hang in there. Don't listen to the news - they're running stories that haven't even been verified by reputable sources, most of the time. Think about the good in the world, and hold onto those thoughts (kittens and puppies and really big hugs and love and such) when the hard thoughts come. It won't banish them, but they can be a bit of a buffer.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 02:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Living in an unimportant market town has never seemed so ace.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 02:51 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm afraid of the long-term ramifications of what's going on right now with terrorism and the "War on Terror." I don't feel any real immediate sense of fear for my own person (or anyone I'm particularly close to). If my life brought me into more places I thought would be likely terror targets, I might be more fearful. On the other hand, as I mentioned elsewhere, I haven't been following the new very closely in the past two or three weeks. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but I periodically seem to have to impose my own personal media black-out. Overall, though, since I started using the internet, I follow the news much more than I had for a long time.

I just hope that if I end up in the line of fire, I die relatively quickly, rather than surviving in some awful mangled condition.

― Rockist Scientist, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 03:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Mike: See your psychiatrist as soon as possible about the antidepressants. Also, if you haven't already ask him/her about other ways to help cope with a panic attack. When I find myself spazzing out I make a point of breathing deeply and trying to figure out to rationally cope with the issue at hand.

In the meantime, I'm going to come up to NYC for the 4th of July FAP. At that time I'm going to buy you a beer and a chili dog (or whatever you prefer), and we'll toast survival. AND we'll say (in explicit terms) where the terrorists can put their WMD.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 03:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Just so you know, I'm now on Paxil, a Celexa analogue whose name escapes me, and Xanax (the last one on a very temporary basis). I feel very tired and stupid right now. If I wasn't bored out of my mind, I wouldn't be on here.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Good deal, Michael *smile* I hope the meds kick-in soon - I know that Xanax can mellow me out, when needed. Of course, it also puts me to sleep, too.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Welcome to club Xanax Mike. I take it as well.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Xanax ALREADY sounds like a club. And it is a palindrome, too.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:37 (twenty-three years ago)

There should be a club called The Palindrome, and every Sat. should be called XANAX, and they should play the soundtracks to 'Logan's Run' and 'Flash Gordon'.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Very suddenly this week I became worried. The tanks in London thing mainly.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 13 February 2003 14:55 (twenty-three years ago)

>I'm more scared of this - in which Jackie Ashley neatly condenses some random thoughts I'd not worked into a coherent whole.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 13 February 2003 14:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm now on Paxil
I took that in high school and I called it my Pink Power. But now my sister takes it and it's blue-green I think.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 13 February 2003 14:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I think I'm most scared of the stuff in that article too - the prospect of a terrorist attack doesn't worry me at any gut level even though I'm sure attempts will be made. It's the nasty feeling that nothing's going to get any better that brings me down.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

more anxious than scared but I am getting that sort of feeling, yes

― chris (chris), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah - the palpable fear (well, it's palpable to me anyway) will lead to a backlash, and the stirling work of the Daily Mail in making immigrant = asylum seeker = terrorist = muslim = kill em will lead to some really nasty things taking place.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:07 (twenty-three years ago)

michael- just got to this thread now. take care of yourself and I hope you get well soon.

''Should we all just lez up while we still can?''

something to do.

but anyway: I don't i have been following the news for a year I think (either in print or on TV): partly to do with the fact that I enjoy the interactive discussion on abt these issues on ILXOR a lot more, partly to do with work which makes me very tired and partly because I've been reading books and listening to music quie a bit, which i consider to be more important than listening to the news to 'keep up'.

I'm not that worried abt a terrorist threat or whether things will get better.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:23 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not scared, but then I don't live in Baghdad.

If you look at 'our' fears (presuming most people above are in the UK/US) compared to the justifiable fears of your average Iraqi citizen at this moment in time, it puts into a little perspective.

Then there are all the random elements mentioned by Dave R above. I'm convinced you've got a better chance of dying in a road accident than in any sort of terrorist incident, and I believe stats for road deaths in, say, Belfast over the last 30-odd years would back that up.

― James Ball (James Ball), Thursday, 13 February 2003 16:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I know for a fact that throughout the Troubles more people in NI died in workplace accidents than through political violence.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 13 February 2003 16:32 (twenty-three years ago)

in fairness to people who are AFRAID, the 11-9 thing would be pretty scary if it were to happen in your town. so if I thought something like it might be about to happen in mine, I would be a bit perturbed. but yes, you could be more legitimately afraid of being violently killed in the near future if you lived in Iraq. Or Palestine. Or the Ivory Coast. Or many other places.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 13 February 2003 16:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Paxil is pink or blue or other colors depending on the dosage. Antidepressants are so pretty!

Michael: I'm sorry to hear about the way you are feeling. If you can make it out next Tues. I'd like to buy you drink as well, though alcohol doesn't mix so well with the meds:(

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 16 February 2003 03:23 (twenty-three years ago)

my prozac are a delightful orange-red/navy blue

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 16 February 2003 03:29 (twenty-three years ago)

sounds manly!

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 16 February 2003 03:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Zolofts are just pale yellow. Lexapros are white. how boring.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Sunday, 16 February 2003 03:49 (twenty-three years ago)

That's bc they're anti-anxiety--they don't want to overstimulate anyone with unneccesary colors.

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 16 February 2003 05:08 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

This seems to happen like clockwork.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 3 February 2005 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Christ, what a obnoxiously vague thing for me to say. Anyway...

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 3 February 2005 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Should I ask?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 February 2005 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Different (if kinda similar) reason this time around. But...I am sick and tired of feeling hopeless and parasitical for a span of weeks every year.

I've got my therapist but that only helps so much.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 3 February 2005 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there some simple, inexpensive, inconsequential thing that you can fixate on for a little while do distract yourself from your hopelessness?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 February 2005 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Like maybe World of Warcraft?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 February 2005 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

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