Kissing techniques

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Inspired by the "don't moan about men with small willies" thread, or whatever it's called.

What makes a good kisser? Or a bad one?

A common problem, I've found, is that some people have stiff, dry tongues. I don't like this much.

Also some people treat the whole thing as a head wrestle.

I've kissed two Americans. Both of them didn't open their mouths for a full minute. It was like kid kissing - lips aimlessly pressed together. Not even the "mwa" of aunties. Is this an American thing, or should I kiss some more?

Other people, from other countries, have had their tongues ready before the kissing even commenced. If I forgot to open my mouth beforehand, I would get licked in the face.

I haven't kissed many men. But those I have, though relatively beardless, had sufficent stubble to bug me. If you're lucky enough to be a girl, how do you like this? Wouldn't it be better to lez up?

This kind of thing.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Friday, 14 February 2003 01:46 (twenty-three years ago)

please don't slobber all over my lower face, plz

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 February 2003 01:49 (twenty-three years ago)

also, don't have dead-mouse-in-yr-automobile-air-vent-for-two-weeks breath, like my college girlfriend

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 February 2003 01:51 (twenty-three years ago)

What makes a bad kisser: stinky breath.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 February 2003 01:51 (twenty-three years ago)

hstencil and jess agree again! shocker!

― hstencil, Friday, 14 February 2003 01:51 (twenty-three years ago)

kiss me:
i like lots of tongue (yet not too wet)
i like lots of teasing and playfulness
i like lips touching, but if it's good i guarantee my mouth will be open in less than a minute

stubble:
i try to shave every other day but sometimes i forget?

― gygax!, Friday, 14 February 2003 01:52 (twenty-three years ago)

bad breath brings everyone together, to run away

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 February 2003 01:53 (twenty-three years ago)

No scraping.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 14 February 2003 01:54 (twenty-three years ago)

your stubble didn't bother me, gygax. it was the vietnamese food on your breath.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 February 2003 01:55 (twenty-three years ago)

i was involved in tonsil tag after indian food two nights ago and my breath i'm absolutely positive was strong and odorous yet it didn't damper any enthusiasm on her part.

― gygax!, Friday, 14 February 2003 01:56 (twenty-three years ago)

did we kiss? i thought we just FUCKED

― gygax!, Friday, 14 February 2003 01:56 (twenty-three years ago)

discussed this yesterday at work with a couple of women and i was surprised to find that "equal space for both kissers tongues" was considered important. It seemed too symmetrical, no room for personality, contrived or something. They rolled their eyes at me and said "Ah well, men, they just stick it in wherever anyway..."

― gaz (gaz), Friday, 14 February 2003 01:56 (twenty-three years ago)

kissing boys with stubble = OUCH!
kissing boys with over-agressive tongues = OUCH!

― phil-two, Friday, 14 February 2003 01:59 (twenty-three years ago)

did we kiss? i thought we just FUCKED

but then what was it we did in the cab with Robin afterwards?

When teeth bump unexpectedly, that's another romance killah.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 February 2003 01:59 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, teeth are not good in many sexual contexts

a little nibbling about the head and neck can be nice, but for the luvva god i'm not a side of ribs

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:01 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't like kissing necks, though I like my neck kissed. I do like kissing ears, but too many ppl seem to not like this.

― Aaron A., Friday, 14 February 2003 02:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Too much tongue is as bad as none at all -- you don't want to feel like you're getting a tonsilectomy. Droolers are kind of gross too.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:03 (twenty-three years ago)

if it's the right person it will feel perfect

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:03 (twenty-three years ago)

but then what was it we did in the cab with Robin afterwards?

bang taxi

When teeth bump unexpectedly, that's another romance killah.

when genitalia bump unexpectedly, that's another romance spark.

i made this one young lady (AGNES P) orgasm via ear kisses.

― gygax!, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:03 (twenty-three years ago)

you know, i just realized i don't like kissing. this depresses me and it doesnt at the same time.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:05 (twenty-three years ago)

how jess got his groove back

― gygax!, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Bang tango? Last tango in paris? gygax, real gentlemen (esp. the Southern variety) don't name names.

jess, you don't like kissing? That's it, we've nothing in common now!

― hstencil, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:07 (twenty-three years ago)

There's always nose rubbing Jess...

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:07 (twenty-three years ago)

i guess i can just blame the anti-depressants

(like everything)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:08 (twenty-three years ago)

hmm, antis haven't affected my love life, hmmm.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:09 (twenty-three years ago)

you're lucky!

(for real. actually they didnt for about a year, but have in the last 6 mos or so.)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I only like kissing with people I really like, it sounds like something I'd say to sound like a nice young man but it's actually true.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Just let the moment happen and find the right balance. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:17 (twenty-three years ago)

hstencil,
now i feel like a right jerk. she broke up with me to go out with the lazy-eyed son of a 60s TV star... that was the worst thing that could ever happen to a 19 year gygax!. but i stand by my actions! she also had a weird sparse tangle of hair in her lower back. am i still bitter? no. but this is ILE. okay, i'll shut up. go find the ILX Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball thread now and sign up cutie.

awww, at least we have the memories of each other h.

― gygax!, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Stubble = dud
Bad breath = dud (esp. rancid-coffee breath)

lips slightly parted = classic
playing tag w/ the tips of our tongues = classic
bodies drawn in really close = CLASSIC

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Antis have never affected anything, to my knowledge. Also shaving's pretty easy, really. Being made to do it before bed is funny.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Not for the better, I mean

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I sort of like a little lip-biting but I am mostly offended by Total Misrepresentation of the Sexual Performance Thread!!!

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:22 (twenty-three years ago)

whoops, sorry gygax, didn't mean to make you feel bad. I will always treasure our night together in the Mission. Are you gonna come out to NYC anytime soon?

JBR now, wow, like really. I should really just leave this thread before I start thinking of my dateless Valentine's Day.

Andrew, I s'pose you're talkin' about antis from your pov? My doc warned me, but on the lovin' front, uh, things haven't been better since I started on the meds. And I feel really great today too!

― hstencil, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:23 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, teeth are not good in many sexual contexts

A reason to look forward to becoming a senior.

I like long, sustained tongue kisses with slow movement, so that subtle little sensations can be enjoyed. Teeth out of the way, somehow.

I don't like a tongue roughly thrust into my mouth. Go for sensuality, not athleticism.

Kisses that are "too wet" don't really bother me. Maybe I've just been lucky not to experience any really unpleasantly wet kisses, but I think I just have a high tolerance for it.

― Rockist Scientist, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:25 (twenty-three years ago)

My first kiss ever from a boy, I thought i was a lesbian for a complete week. I couldn't understand why the teeth banging, saliva dripping down my shirt, and jaw locked for 30 minutes in a position that would make your dentist proud wasn't turning me on. And then another boy kissed me a week later and I realized I wasn't gay.

Now I just prefer to get drunk and kiss, otherwise I concentrate too much and stare at the guy, trying to get them to open their eyes and catch me staring at them like I'm dead. But other than that I'm a fun date.

― Carey (Carey), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:25 (twenty-three years ago)

anyone who wants a valentine's day kissing date with me:
southwest airlines flight #133 oakland to nashville taking off @ 2pm
i have a book of drink coupons come and get it

― gygax!, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:27 (twenty-three years ago)

jess, what is it with you and dead mice! are you sure you haven't been dating bundles of housing insulation batts animated by resident nests of mice?

― minna (minna), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah my POV only H. I got warned too on that, nothing happened, but nothing happened moodwise either and I couldn't get to sleep for hours during the 6-8 months, I don't rememeber, I was on them. They're no miracle, prospective drugtakers! Also maybe there should just be a thread for better shaving techniques.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I hate it when that happens.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:29 (twenty-three years ago)

hstencil,
i will definitely be back in nyc before you're out here again. jet blue is my friend.

carey your first kiss was with a lamprey?

― gygax!, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:30 (twenty-three years ago)

my only pet hate is people who kiss as though their tongue is a live fish. way to make me lose any amount of attraction i might have had for kisser. also compulsive hicky-givers are quite dud. i said i wanted a kiss, not a date with a suction cup. everything else is GREAT.

― di smith (lucylurex), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually, in the right circumstances I quite like it when a girl just shoves her tongue down my throat. Obviously you don't want that as a constant technique, but it's quite nice to have a normally-more-subtle individual just go at you like that.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:33 (twenty-three years ago)

okay, i feel like complete shit.

agnes p. was deep down a total sweetheart, beautiful and her mother was the best cook i've ever encountered.

― gygax!, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:33 (twenty-three years ago)

but gygax jetblue will be my friend, too! $99 to N'awlins!

but if you really wanna know the long distance relationship way to my heart, you'd realize that LaGuardia is a five-minute cab ride from current residence...

Nashville sounds fun, my mom's flying in from Louisville this weekend, can't go - can't protest, neither.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:34 (twenty-three years ago)

A lamprey named Jason Simpson WHEREVER YOU ARE! Yeah that was a pretty damaging experience. 6 years later I saw him again and I still could remember what his saliva smelled like. It seemed like he still held it against me for dissing him once I realized that that kissing was not normal.

He is so going to find this and stalk me down.

― Carey (Carey), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Gygax I read that like "her mother had the best cock I ever encountered."

― Carey (Carey), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:37 (twenty-three years ago)

carey,
it was the biggest cock you'd ever seen
but you've no idea where that cock has been

― gygax!, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Before I kissed anyone, I was paranoid that I'd get it wrong.

Having started this thread with examples of wrong kissing, I wanna say that 95% of the people I've kissed were just fine. In case some 12 year old reads this and dies from the pressure of living.

Even the wet ones are. By the time I've started kissing someone, I've already decided that I'm not afraid of their saliva.

I just don't understand the sharp stiff tongues I've encountered. If you're a 12 year old with a sharp stiff tongue, please fix it before you're old enough to be swapping mouths with the bad-breathed pervy 40 year old I will become.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Friday, 14 February 2003 02:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually, I didn't kiss properly (!) until someone in college told me, for one thing, to slow down.

― Rockist Scientist, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 20 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

If you're lucky enough to be a girl

That's the sweetest thing I've read on ILE in a while.

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 14 February 2003 13:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I want to see the thread where Ned is as opinionated about sex as he is about Rage Against the Machine.

What's the point? Honestly, I could never feel comfortable going into more detail in such a question. There are a number of things I don't want to go into detail about on the board and that happens to be one of them, is all.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 February 2003 13:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Coyness is nice but coyness can stop you...

― James Blount (James Blount), Friday, 14 February 2003 14:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Frankly, with the way people have been getting ripped to shreds for posting personal things I'm surprised anyone would go into detail.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 14 February 2003 14:02 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not asking YOU, James. But at least I know you won't say no, how could you? ;-)

Frankly, with the way people have been getting ripped to shreds for posting personal things I'm surprised anyone would go into detail.

Quite.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 February 2003 14:03 (twenty-three years ago)

I doubt anyone would complain about explicit physical detail type things, more's the pity. Good on you, Ned. I was explicit enough for me on the backrub thread, and I wasn't, really.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 14 February 2003 14:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I haven't gotten a hicky since college. The day after I got the last one, I had to work in the bookstore, and just about EVERYONE commented on it.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 February 2003 15:15 (twenty-three years ago)

My boyfriend's barber told him to tell me to lay the fuck off cos he wasn't fond of looking at bite marks. Nice.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 14 February 2003 16:43 (twenty-three years ago)

After dating my first real kisser, I became rather frantic to start it up again. I tried to teach my next bf how to french and he was so horrible at it. At first, I tried to tell myself he just didn't have enough experiance, but no, he was just TERRIBLE. He didn't seem to have any mouth muscles at all and he had way too much saliva. BLUGHHGHG!
I like lots of different kinds of kisses. I think my favorite might be neck kisses.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 14 February 2003 16:50 (twenty-three years ago)

It's odd that we seem to be talking about this as if it's ONLY technique. Surely hard and thrusting or soft and gentle are both appropriate some times, depending on the mood? You wouldn't want someone to always go at it full strength, but in the throes of passion that's fine. Slow and subtle is great other times, but not always right.

It's always made me very happy when girlfriends have told me how much they like how I kiss. Most have said this, and I think it's probably meant more to me than just about any other compliment.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 14 February 2003 23:41 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...

Kissin is really good for me, because it just gets u comfortable....slow, gentle kisses that make u relax lead 2 wonderin' hands and more action !
I think that you need to try everything. Have u tried swapping bubble-gum in a kiss?
*melts* if u can do it properly...it can be the BIGGEST turn on !

I agree - I dont think a specific style of kissing is best, it depends on the situation and the mood really !

― Lil Miss Fruity, Thursday, 24 April 2003 01:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I did that once with a girlfriend and she at first looked confused, then took the gum out of her mouth in a huff saying "that's not even funny."

Mind you I later found out she was a pretty hardcore Christian (by UK standards) maybe there is something in the bible about it...

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 02:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm pretty sure that's the fourteenth commandment, in between "if it's brown, flush it down" and "every time the Bible says 'begat,' take a drink."

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 24 April 2003 02:17 (twenty-three years ago)

three weeks pass...

LOL, only just found this.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Monday, 19 May 2003 21:57 (twenty-three years ago)

this thread has made me more fully realize my loneliness/horniness.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 19 May 2003 22:51 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought you have a boyfriend?

― hstencil, Tuesday, 20 May 2003 00:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think I saw this the first time around. One point that I don't think was addressed here: don't open your mouth to the point where you seem to be trying to swallow the other person. A major turn-off in my book.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 00:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Nabisco OTM upthread about totally unexpected tongue shoves on first kisses. It's sort of why God invented kisses I think.

― amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 00:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm so totally out of practice. I like to get rough though. And you can bite my lip and pull on it and play weird suction games. That stuff is pretty fun. Hickeys above the collar = total dud. Other hickeys = you go right ahead.

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 00:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I got a hickey Saturday night.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 20 May 2003 00:46 (twenty-three years ago)

aww

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 00:54 (twenty-three years ago)

more like "oww!"

― hstencil, Tuesday, 20 May 2003 01:23 (twenty-three years ago)

teeny OTM

― Dave M. (rotten03), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 02:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I didn't know Kate was in NYC on Saturday night.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 02:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Sutpid me, forgot Kate's not here for the mock outrage in the morning :(

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 02:47 (twenty-three years ago)

well it was a noble effort on your part Noodles but I was in Baltimore and yes, sadly, kate is not here to flirt with me.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 20 May 2003 02:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes. Must. Stop. Reading. This. Thread. I don't want to get laid but I am desparate for a nice makeout session.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 03:21 (twenty-three years ago)

three months pass...

Carey's story on this thread is incredible and I have a similar one but it was definitely not so good.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/sealab/tomluke.jpg

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

A thing of beauty...

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (etc) omg my boss is staring at me for laughing so hard now.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I fucking love the "Random Thread" button.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

eleven months pass...

Okay, so tonight I kissed my third American, and it was the same again. I am very puzzled, cos I've watched the films.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Americans in being shy about kissing shockah! I dunno; I think this is acceptable and understandable the first time you're kissing someone. What if they don't want your creepy tongue in their mouth?

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

(not directed to you specifically, of course; i have no idea if your tongue is creepy or not!)

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd agree, but why is it just Americans, Ian c=====8?

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Because we've seen the movies too?

― Sam Benson (Sam Benson), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:37 (twenty-one years ago)

One time I was with this girl who I'm fairly certain thought she was a bird. We were on her couch and she was lying atop me, and she gave me a peck on the lips and I thought to myself "well that's not very passionate now is it", but before I could finish my thought she pecked me again and again, over and over, and "peck" is the correct word here, you just have to imagine a woodpecker going at a slightly slower rate. I didn't have time to kiss her back, because her lips were touching mine for no more than a split second at a time. I wondered if I had bad breath or something, but she didn't seem to want to stop. This went on for several minutes before I excused myself to get a drink of water and to check if my lips were bruised from the jabs they were taking.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. Was she American?

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:39 (twenty-one years ago)

She sure was. I'd like to state that she was thirty and attractive, so I'm guessing this wasn't due to a lack of experience, unless she's been raised in a bird sanctuary and only dated blue jays.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I just love kissing girls necks. Not in the 'suction cup' way, though. I reckon I'm probably a good kisser. The only complaint I've ever had is from stubble.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

not all americans. that sounds weird, and boring.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Most American women are NOT like Donna Reed in the alternate-reality vision section of It's A Wonderful Life

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

she looked cute, though, in those tight pencil skirts.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

who wouldn't? aside from me, I mean.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

http://kith.sightspeeder.com/icons/chicken01.gif

'gotta get laid, gotta get laid'

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 30 July 2004 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

haha OTMFM

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 30 July 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

four years pass...

i don't know what's worse: slobbering all over your face or pointy little tongue kisser. ugh.

― Surmounter, Wednesday, 20 August 2008 14:15 (seventeen years ago)

So Gibraltar has tumbled
The world came to an end
And the joke was on me
You're not even my friend
But with all my new lovers
And there've been twenty-two

I've been kissing the mirror, wishing it was you

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 20 August 2008 14:16 (seventeen years ago)

slobbering all over your face might be slightly better because at least they seem into it.

― carne asada, Wednesday, 20 August 2008 14:17 (seventeen years ago)

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