Things Said By Friends While Sleeping

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Inspired by my roomy's recent outburst of mhanmhamanahamamn in the adjacent room. When we were living near the lovely University of CT campus (before they spent all that fancy money on the renovations you cheap tuition-gouging sumbitches), he told me that the Beatles had the best ERA. And then he said mnamnamananamanamhamnahamnananmnmanma lip smack lip smack turn mhahanman.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 21 February 2003 06:26 (twenty-three years ago)

"i am not a machine"
"i don't think the vice-president would approve"

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Friday, 21 February 2003 06:28 (twenty-three years ago)

And then another friend (at this same apartment) held full-length conversations with his bet-placing bud while sleeping on the futon. He'd talk (hhanahmn) for about 15-20 minutes, then fart & turn over. And then he'd talk some more.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 21 February 2003 06:29 (twenty-three years ago)

"Can I use your hair dryer?"

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 21 February 2003 06:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I was crashing at a friend's house and he said that I was saying the most horrific/vile/atrocious things in my sleep a few nights ago. He won't tell me what I said, but said it had to do with violence and sex. I'm a bit worried about that.

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 21 February 2003 06:47 (twenty-three years ago)

"donuts, fifty cents a donut"

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 February 2003 06:49 (twenty-three years ago)

apparently, I used to say, in a whiny manner: "I don't wanna play volleyball"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 21 February 2003 07:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Minna, that made me very happy to read.
Io nce heard a man say " Put dicks in holes."

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Friday, 21 February 2003 08:05 (twenty-three years ago)

sardines! sardines! allakazam! (true)

― cameron, Friday, 21 February 2003 08:59 (twenty-three years ago)

"I'm sleeping!"

― dog latin, Friday, 21 February 2003 10:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I once told my girlfriend how I dearly loved Mandee May. She shouts out "I dunno" every night as she's falling asleep.

― Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 21 February 2003 10:47 (twenty-three years ago)

on fourth form camp, my friend hana "quick, the cops are coming!"

― di smith (lucylurex), Friday, 21 February 2003 10:50 (twenty-three years ago)

My brother used to speak in tongues in his sleep. When we shared a room as kids, I often used to get up from the bottom bunk and listen to his speech, but although it had intonation and structure, there was a never a single intelligible word.

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 21 February 2003 10:55 (twenty-three years ago)

My brother (bolt upright in bed staring at me) - "Charles! What are you doing?! The gold! The bloody gold! It's worth money! The gold!" then back to sleep.

― dog latin, Friday, 21 February 2003 11:04 (twenty-three years ago)

My son last night: "We sleep, we sleep" and then later "no, rabbit!".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 21 February 2003 15:07 (twenty-three years ago)

"But I don't HAVE any peaches..."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 21 February 2003 15:09 (twenty-three years ago)

soon on ilxor: things said by enemies while sleeping

my dad once shouted "mind that cork!!" while dozing in front of the TV

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 21 February 2003 15:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Mark's dad v. phantom sommelier army - FITE!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 21 February 2003 15:16 (twenty-three years ago)

My roommate in my freshman year of college spoke fluent German in his sleep. At least it sounded very authentic. He wasn't German, and never took a German language class to my knowledge. Once I heard him say something like, "Hast du eine flughaufen, bitte". Something to that effect.

― cprek (cprek), Friday, 21 February 2003 15:36 (twenty-three years ago)

apparently, I used to say, in a whiny manner: "I don't wanna play volleyball"

Always a good thing to say.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 21 February 2003 16:26 (twenty-three years ago)

A couple of months ago my wife sat up in bed and moaned "...but the newspapers, THE NEWSPAPERS!" before mumbling and laying back down.

― Dan I, Friday, 21 February 2003 17:44 (twenty-three years ago)

mind that cork would be a good football thing to shout as a warning like "watch your house" etc.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 21 February 2003 17:46 (twenty-three years ago)

A friend claims that I once sang Onward Christian Soldiers in my sleep. He says I went through a couple of verses, which makes it even less plausible as I only know the first few lines (up to "before").

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 21 February 2003 20:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Once my mother was dozing on the couch and bolted awake with: "DON'T EAT ALL THE CREAM CHEESE!"

― Mandee, Friday, 21 February 2003 20:28 (twenty-three years ago)

So did you stop eating the cream cheese, then?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 21 February 2003 20:49 (twenty-three years ago)

My roommate in college once said this whole sentence, which I've never forgotten: "When you get to the top, all you get is a lot of cock and bullshit, and I ask you, is it worth it?" When I mentioned it to him in the morning, he had no idea what he could have been talking about.

― Sean (Sean), Friday, 21 February 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Minna - it's spooky you should mention donuts. Apparently I once sat bolt upright in bed whilst fast asleep and demanded querulously "Do they sell deep-frozen donuts at your place?"

― C J (C J), Friday, 21 February 2003 22:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm surprised how many people end up sitting bolt upright!

― Sean (Sean), Friday, 21 February 2003 22:28 (twenty-three years ago)

So my mum is trying to wake me up in the morning: "Daniel, it's time for sk00l!"

Me: "no...I have to die now"

Mum: "WHAT?"

Me (waking up): "you mean I'm not a horse?"

(I was still having a dream whilst she was waking me up, y'see- I dreamt that the Daltons had killed Lucky Luke and that I was Jolly Jumper, who was now to be put to sleep, so to speak.)

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, 22 February 2003 00:55 (twenty-three years ago)

"what's the difference, duck?!"

― minna (minna), Saturday, 22 February 2003 02:06 (twenty-three years ago)

after 20 minutes of us whispering into his ear:

"I am the disco king..."

― Ryan McKay (Ryan McKay), Saturday, 22 February 2003 14:36 (twenty-three years ago)

"I'm going to punch you in the tits"

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 22 February 2003 17:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Once I said, "What I don't understand is how he got the peanut butter out of there without setting off the trap."
Also: "No, see, there's a line on my toothbrush and I have to wait for it to go down."
I have no idea.

― kirsten (kirsten), Saturday, 22 February 2003 17:57 (twenty-three years ago)

My brother is ace for this, you can have whole conversations with him.
My favourite was; "Tell Celeste, River Pheonix is at the Leadmill, it's a fiver to get in and see him." This was told me via my mum. As River Pheonix was already dead I told her to go back and wake my brother up.

― celeste (Celeste), Saturday, 22 February 2003 23:50 (twenty-three years ago)

My sister has entire conversations in her sleep, every bloody night. I mean loud and clear. They don't make one bit of sense, but they're whole conversations. My favorite was one that culminated in her screaming at the top of her lungs, "It was a goddamned bus!" That actually made my mom get up to see what was wrong. I was like, "Nothing's wrong, there was just a goddamned bus or something, go away". I used to go over and hold her nose until she shut up, back when we shared a room.

My psycho ex used to say bizarre things in his sleep too, he'd like be half awake and wake me up to tell me things that made no sense, and then not remember in the morning. "Remember, Otis has to set the coffee alarm." I'd be all, "What?" and he'd just be all pissed, "Never mind! I'll talk about it in the morning!"

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 23 February 2003 03:23 (twenty-three years ago)

My ex-boyfriend "when you're draining pasta do you use a sieve or a colander?" At five in the morning. he woke me up to ask me (he doesn't remember)

Me to my husband "have you been wanking, it smells like you have". I don't remember this, but he mentions it far too often.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 23 February 2003 20:21 (twenty-three years ago)

*roommate snoring*

"Ben, Ben, yer snoring!"

*snoring*

"Ben, stop snoring!"

"NEVER!" *continues snoring*

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 23 February 2003 23:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Me: *whispers* I love you, honey.

Him: Only on sausages. *continues snoring*

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 24 February 2003 00:50 (twenty-three years ago)

The Situation: It's the middle of winter. The house is cold. My SO comes in to sleep with me. He gets into bed. I cuddle-up next to him. He feels cold.

Me (in a calm and methodical and logical voice, very dispassionatly): Are you dead?
Him (in a panicked and starteled and horror-filled voice): I don't think so.
Me: Okay.

And I rolled over and went back to sleep apparently. I think I must have assumed that the only reason someone would be cold in bed is if they were dead. But I don't know what I would have done if he didn't answer.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 24 February 2003 05:03 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...

A few minutes after I'd told Hamish about my dream in the morning he said to me "thanks for the ride on the plane". I said "WHAT?", he repeated it, so I said "uh...that's okay". Later he said it was something to do w/ my dream. I told him my dream had nothing to do with planes and he said it was in his part of my dream - he'd fallen asleep and finished the dream for me, or something.

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Wednesday, 12 March 2003 06:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Damn! There are too many funny ones on this thread for me to re-quote!

My husband consistenly swears at me in his sleep...well, at least the few times we sleep together. I suppose he doesn't think I'll clock him because he's in some sort of saftey zone. Or he just denies it and says, "No! I must have been swearing at your mother!"

But the best was my girlfriend when we were in the hotel, she suddenly blurts out:
"Here's another story, BUT YOU CAN'T TELL ANYBODY!"

I was so pissed that she didn't tell the story. I almost woke her up, but since it was the first 20 minutes of sleep I had seen her get in 48 hrs, I took pity and let her go back to snoring.

― BurmaKitty (BurmaKitty), Thursday, 13 March 2003 02:02 (twenty-three years ago)

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