Pre-Gig Nerves! (and other anxiety)

OK, yes, Hilton will be there. AND we're supporting my ex-temporary tour boyfriend's band. But I'm not talking about THAT kind of performance anxiety.

Anyone have any tips on staying calm before a Big Event (that doesn't involve fortifying shots of brandy)?

A little bit of nerves is good, but I present and run loads of lectures, talks and so-on here and there is always a twinge but I'm quite happy ad libbing for hours. I'm a bit of a performance whore.

Perhaps it's different now cause this is a "solo" thing and I don't have the band to hide behind if anything goes wrong.

It's weird because I love performing, I'm a natural ham, I've always been good at presentations and lectures and the like. USUALLY, I'm fine once I get onstage, it's before the gig that I'm awful, but once I hit the stage/podium or whatever, you can't drag me off.

My first solo show, a month ago, was the first time I'd EVER experienced actual, real Stage Fright, in that I was so paralysed with fear WHILE ONSTAGE that I actually had to fight the urge to get up and run offstage and stop the show. I've never had that before, and it scared the shit out of me.

I guess I have added extra nerves for this gig because I'm terrified that the same thing will happen again. Even though I'm bringing someone else with me onstage so I have someone to bounce off if things go really wrong, and I don't get that "argh! how do I entertain people while I'm fiddling with a drum machine which is refusing to cooperate?" terror.

maybe you could do the same if something goes wrong at your gig.

On one level nerves are good, cause if you don't get them, the performance is not as good. Adrenaline is the best performance enhancer ever.

then when i step off stage, the moment is gone and again i pray that the ground will open up and swallow me whole.

The last few gigs with the Lollies were so traumatic, I didn't enjoy them AT ALL and that really put The Fear into me. When gigs are Not Fun for a prolonged period, you really have to sit back and re-examine why you do it.

Running through the songs last night with Jesse, I was actually getting excited for the first time in ages. They were so new, so fresh and therefore still exciting to me, I was bouncing around dancing to them cause *I* was hearing them for the first time in their proper arrangements. Keeps the spontenaity in and keeps it fun. Get back in the moment, stop fussing and fretting.

I just have to keep reminding myself that this is going to be good. This is going to be fun.

And of course, distracting myself with being so nervous about seeing/playing in front of Hilton that I don't have time to be scared about the gig! Ha ha!

*smiling coyly*

Can I have your autograph?

One thing that's really really helped me get over my jitters: taking off my glasses onstage. When I'm performing for a mass of bouncing blurs of color rather than identifiable human beings, I generally chill out quite a bit.

I have to print my own set-list in, like, 40 font though.

That said, too much panic and your hands can't fret the note. The best advice I ever got on this point was from a professional trumpet player who used to suffer from crippling stage fright -- give yourself something important to think about in the performance during every second of the performance (the songs), and you don't have any mind left over to worry about the EVENT (the fact that x number of people including Marriot Wildebeest are looking at you). It has to be the right kind of thought, obviously -- "this is a tough part, don't fuck it up like you always do" is a bad thing to think about, but "don't fret out that note -- ok, ready to step on the pedal -- NOW!" or "this song about monkeys makes me HAPPY!" are very good things to think about. (When I was inventing emo, I tended to think "I am sad. Others are sad and oppressed. Oops, here comes Dan's headstock -- DUCK!")

The nerves will punp your body up and the music will get your brain in shape. Go for it.

One thing I like about the band I'm in now is that, what with having to remember all these lyrics, having to concentrate so hard on vocal dynamics (whisper to talk-sing to yelling to preacher-man-voice to sing-sing to fakey-opera voice etc.), having to keep track of both microphones (I use one clean and one fx mic), etc etc keeps me from worrying about stuff once I'm up there.

However, I still get the pre-doin'-it freakouts something fierce, especially now, what with being in a really strange-sounding and loud band and wondering "oh, geez, I hope our music doesn't PISS PEOPLE OFF!" It makes for a wild build-up-then-release thing I'm beginning to become quite addicted to...such that, when we haven't played out for awhile, I have to find alternate means to "release the demons".

I just love the fact this phrase can be used. :-)

Is the gig tonight, Kate? Best of luck! :-)

OH, BTW, did you know that my bandmate, Jesse, invented grunge? No, really. He did.

*This may not be a joke.

Don't know if it'll work for you, but you can always play the "what's the worst that could happen game". Usually you quickly realize that, well, nothing that bad could happen except in your hyperactive imagination.

I totally flubbed the lyrics to Hilton Betegeuse because he was staring at me the entire time. Glargh. But apart from that, it was great.

Best. Night. Ever. I am so happy. I am so stupidly ridiculously happy. And not just cause the gig was good.

Apparently, I "rock like Suzy Quattro" - bwah hah hah. I'll have to start playing bass again.

I'm still floating two inches above the floor. Is this how deep space explorers feel as they explore Jupiter and Saturn?

I can't tell you how much pleasure it gives me to witness another (even a stranger) experience the joy of their talent.

When All Of Your Friends Are There and goes WELL, that's the most wonderful experience to share with people.

Oh, and sweet nookie helps... ;-) Would it be really awful and Sex and the City to bray "I GOT LAID!!! YAAAAAYYYYY!!! I am no longer a big ball of frustrations and I love life!!! Wooo for playing a good gig. Wooo for being naked and holding someone you adore. WOOOOOOOO FOR STICKY NAUGHTIES!!"

But, you know, due to it being birthplace of Neil Young, Winnipeg does actually have a good case for the invention of grunge...

Damn, why am I bringing 50 CDs to play for an hour? I need MORE BUBBLEGUM!!! WOOO!!!

I don't get pre-gig despondancy, but I *DO* get really bad post-gig despondancy if I don't keep the high going. Which is why last night was so nice. It was the combination of a really good gig and the oxytocin high of a long-term crush finally coming to requitement. Usually, I get really really DOWN after gigs when the adrenaline wears off, if I don't have something specific planned to do afterwards. That's why aftershows are so important to me, not just coz of the schmoozing and free boozing and hot and cold running groupies on tap.

(And in somewhat similar news, apparently some friend-of-a-friend saw one of our shows and fancies me. After almost a year of playing shows this is the first time that I know of this happening. Of course, he is apparently the shyest guy in the world, so hoops are being jumped through to get the two of us in the same room again -- and I don't remember anything about the guy -- so it's very likely that this will lead to nothing. But! It is nevertheless a relief! The system works! ;-)

If I know I'm going to have to be playing at the top of my game just to get by or I'm opening up for someone who does the same thing a lot better, whew, then the head games come in.

People coming up to you after the show and gushing (especially those that aren't totally wasted)= best thing ever.

I am not going to get neurotic about The Boy. I am not going to get neurotic about The Boy. So far I have succeeded in not getting neurotic about The Boy. I will follow The Jesus Rule and wait till tomorrow before deciding what to do. I mean, I've been freaking busy, I'm sure he's been freaking busy. (Screwing up other bands' gigging plans, but that's nuff said about that... ARGH!!! Getting caught up in band politics = even WORSE when it's not even your band!)

i will never forget the time we did a show with rainy's band couch, when i looked into the crowd, and noticed that they were mostly women and they all had really huge smiles on their faces which were totally focussed on me, i knew then that i was doing something worthwhile and good. i will always treasure that moment, and its one that i try to focus on when i'm nervous.

maybe you could half-insult him and show one tit.

Your interpoem banter should have as little as possible to do with the actual poems, though, or at least that's my preference.

Matt will be with me. I don't think I'll get him to shout 'Show us yr tits!' though of course he may do it anyway unprompted, in which case he WILL be running out crying when I'm done with him.