Search & Destroy: mobile phone ring tunes

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Having just heard the worst mobile ring tune in existence I thought I'd pose the question: whats the worst, and (if such a thing is possible) the best/funniest/weirdest mobile phone tune you've ever heard?

Worst: I just heard a phone play "We Didn't Start the Fire" (so I almost bloody started one)
Best: heard a phone play "Uncle Fucker" the other day. GRATE! :D

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 02:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Ralphie Ciffaretto's "Rocky" theme

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 03:01 (twenty-three years ago)

someone here has "barbie girl" and frequently lets it ring for 20 seconds or more..

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 03:04 (twenty-three years ago)

i hate 'the bumblebee'

i have 'the next episode' but before that it was 'get ur freak on', and i'm thinking of changing it back.

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 03:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Jim: Oh god, I would go postal if I heard that song for more than 20 picoseconds!

I hate those tunes that don't quite sound like anything at all, but every second person has them, so you get them stuck in your head even though you have no idea what tune it is...

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 03:08 (twenty-three years ago)

haha yes trayce i was thinking of those and the only one i could actually name was the bumblebee

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 03:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I've got the theme to Star Trek: The Next Generation on mine (runners up were Axel F from Beverly Hills Cop and Get Ur Freak On).

Destroy: the inexplicable proliferation of Scott Joplin ringtones.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 03:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Destroy: the Star Wars main theme. Oh and the feckin Muppet Show song. One of my friends has that. I KEEEEL HER!

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 03:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Destroy: Pretty much all of them. Especially the Bach ones.

― Chris Barrus (xibalba), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 03:22 (twenty-three years ago)

my worst nightmare would be one playing "My Heart Will Go On" over and over and over...

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 03:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Alice Deejay's "Better Off Alone" is absolutely amazing in this context. Seriously! I hear it at least three times a week from a cubicle down the hall.

― dan fitz (danfitz), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 03:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I hate phones, which is why I picked up my cellphone: so the few (five) people I gave the # to could get ahold of me, and I could unplug the phone from the ground line for good. It took me forever to find ringtones that I didn't mind -- they had to not sound like phones, and be able to wake me up since I sleep odd hours. Right now I've got the Batman TV theme on there; I've also got Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" and Missy's "Get Ur Freak On," and cycle between em.

I still get this weird horrible-web-page shiver going when I hear recognizable songs as bad MIDI coming from the phone, though.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:10 (twenty-three years ago)

A friend of mine has the A-Team, which means every new call is triumphant. Also seek Sweet Child O Mine, because is sounds just right.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I dream of having a song by The Locust as mine.

― Jonathan Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:16 (twenty-three years ago)

My phone has the greatest ring tones ever, fact. When one of my cokehead friends calls, it plays White Lines. When my boyfriend calls, it plays Let's Get It On. When I get voice mail, it plays Baby One More Time. When my crazy ex calls, it plays Oops! I Did It Again. I also have Baby Got Back (which is amazing), Santeria, I Will Survive, Batman, James Bond (this is for calls with no caller ID), I'm Too Sexy...note the proliferation of songs on my own phone makes it hard to identify when my phone is actually ringing, though.

Also, I can make it bark like a chicken.

White Lines is the best one by the way.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:18 (twenty-three years ago)

i like sweet child o mine too, i've been planning to program it in

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:20 (twenty-three years ago)

if i had a mobile phone i would want 'enola gay'

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Sweet Child O' Mine is indeed brilliant, it already sounds like a ringtone.

One of my friends programmed in Anthropology (or maybe it was Ornithology), fast Charlie Parker bebop and it actually worked pretty well.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:24 (twenty-three years ago)

One of my friends programmed the tune thingy herself so her phone plays "Hong Kong Garden" by the Banshees - CLASSIC. That plinky guitar line works so well as a tinny MIDI tune.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:28 (twenty-three years ago)

How do you program it yourself? I didn't know you could. Then I could get to work on Trans-Europe Express. And Kiss!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I guess itd depend on the phone... I have a shitty old nokia 3310 and i can do it on that (without downloading a tune). It isnt easy though. Its under "tones" in the main menu, theres an option called "composer".

The one I have in memory is something like the muppets (i didnt put it there!) and it has things like 4c3 4c3 4a2 4a2 4b2 etc etc - no idea what this means but i guess its the note, and the length and repeat rate of the note?

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:42 (twenty-three years ago)

― Jonathan Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:43 (twenty-three years ago)

What in the hell!? My freakin ears!

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 04:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Search: Nightrider theme, Baby Got back.

Destroy: anything before they made these midi.

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 05:25 (twenty-three years ago)

KLF - 3AM Eternal of course!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 05:42 (twenty-three years ago)

it's the carmen sandiego chronoskimmer!

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 06:55 (twenty-three years ago)

i swear, i spent like 3 hours programming that little recurring tune from the first Looper album into my mobile phone. but then i dropped it into a tub of champagne and the phone broke.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 07:01 (twenty-three years ago)

i have ring-ring like a landline

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 07:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I want that Combustible Edison song from Four Rooms.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 07:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't have a cell phone but my favorite experience with this was waiting in line to see Lilo & Stitch at a mall theater in Kona, Hawaii. My friend and I were surrounded by sassy pre-teenage girls one of whose phones rang and played the tune of "Bootylicious."

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 07:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine is I'm a little teapot. And I am.

It also has a song FROM the muppets called 'you put the lime in the coconut' that's cool.

minna programmed mine.

― nellie (minna), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 10:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine goes ring ring roo.

Destroy them all apart from Radioactivity by Kraftwerk.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 10:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I used to have "Music to Watch Girls By" on mine, in the days when you could download them for free. It worked surprisingly well. That and the Finnish national anthem, for reasons too boring to go into.

Mine now goes ring ring. Krazy!

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:02 (twenty-three years ago)

I am sure that while Jon Snow was interviewing some French UN delegate last nite on CH4 news, his mobile phone went off and it played... the Ch4 News theme tune! How sad!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:07 (twenty-three years ago)

someone here has the tune from Star Wars that sounds a bit like the Death March. It's very loud.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Whenever I write a new tune, I always see what it sounds like on my 3330. At the moment I have one such tune as my ring. I've found that darkside jungle basslines definately make good ringtones.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Talking of Starwars; as i was walking into uni yesterday, through the fog. Someone was playing the starwars theme very badly on an oboe standing on his balcony.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine rings. Briefly it played Tainted Love. Briefly it mewed. But now it just rings.

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Were you worried Alang might try to nick a KITTEN PHONE, Graham?

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:25 (twenty-three years ago)

No, I took the phone back (mainly because it played a massively elaborate orchestral alarm sound when I was in the Quiet Carriage on a train, and it was on SILENT (Sagem MY-X5, don't do it kids)), and my new one can't even bark.

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Why does, like, one of five people have "Ugly" by Bubba Sparxx as their mobile ringtone?

Current ringtone: "All The Things She Said" t.a.T.u
Best ever ringtone: "Blister In The Sun" Violent Femmes

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:58 (twenty-three years ago)

search: a ringing sound. made by like, A BELL.

destroy: mobile phones, yo.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I have the annoying nokia default one, I'd change it but then I wouldn't know if it was my phone ringing. When I had an 8210 I used the "barn dance" ringtone which was one of the highlights of my life.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Search: Theme from Mister Benn, Theme from Blake's Seven, Theme from Terry and Jooooooon.

Destroy: Everything else. Esp. anything be the Vengaboys.

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:10 (twenty-three years ago)

be? by, even.

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine it go RING RING (low level).

Other ringtones I have include ENOLA GAY and THE FINAL COUNTDOWN.

I stopped using them bcz I thort I might be a knobgoblin.

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:23 (twenty-three years ago)

my dentist has 'The Model' by Kraftwerk, i'd quite like 'Pocket Calculator' myself - i stick with just a 'ring ring' or merely vibrate tho, i can't believe some people still use the archetypal Nokia one (of Trigger Happy TV) fame, it appears to be some sort of ironic gesture now, fuckers

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:31 (twenty-three years ago)

yes, the nokia tune has been kitsch for a long while

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:35 (twenty-three years ago)

search: wanksta

destroy: everything else

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:37 (twenty-three years ago)

search: wanksta

YARRRRGHHH!!!

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:39 (twenty-three years ago)

My friend uses the Nokie Tune specifically because it makes him look like a wanker. He also uses one of those oldschool Nokia matrix-phones, specifically so he can slide the mouthpiece out in a poncy way. God, I hate* him.

* love.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine are all rub, so I let someone else pick which one I would use. She choose 'speedy'. However, because people very rarely call me I can't remember what it sounds like. I quite like the Nokia one called Futuristico, because it has a stupid name and also sounds like the beginning of a CUTTING EDGE news programme, a la The Day Today.

― alix (alix), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:49 (twenty-three years ago)

As Chris B said, surely destroy all of them?

Does hating mobile ring tunes mean you hate fun?

Mine has a loud siren noise.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:14 (twenty-three years ago)

If hating mobile phone ringtones means hating funnthen hell I hate fun and I'll hate it till the day I die.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:15 (twenty-three years ago)

My tasty rubber phone has 'Zombie Nation' by Kerncraft 2000 as the ringtone at the moment (composed by obsessive friend on long night bus journey), which is admirably suited for the job, although I agree with Mr Passantino about 'Blister in the Sun', yet haven't been arsed to key it in to date. Eurgh lassitude.

I wish people would understand that although a 'tune' may be counted amongst the 40 top-selling 45"s of the present day, it may not be ideal for blasting out the eardrums of people who happen to be standing next to them on the bus if one of their acquaintances should happen to want to speak to them.

Ed, do you hate kittens too?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I like other peoples' cats I have no fetish for cats, cat pictures, kittens, cat books and other such madness.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine just makes a power-up sound like when Super Mario eats the mushroom.

A keyboard player buddy of mine has a rather-obscure-but-AWESOME ring-tone: Mr. Bungle's "Desert Search for Techno Allah"...although without the instrumental density, upon listening it could be just some random vague Arabian-stylee melody.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:50 (twenty-three years ago)

What are these mysterious mobile phones of which you speak?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:05 (twenty-three years ago)

The idea of a tasty rubber phone disturbs me.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:23 (twenty-three years ago)

sarah, is enola gay any cop?

― alix (alix), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I had "So Fresh & So Clean" for a while; it was great. I switched to "Funkytown" but it's been a while so I'd like to change. My b/f switches between Knight Rider and "Country Grammar."

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 15:32 (twenty-three years ago)

my sony t100 has this grate one like the rocket sound on those soundeffex keyrings, where it rises then spirals out like it's dying

― zemko (bob), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 15:48 (twenty-three years ago)

i have 'seventeen' by winger as my ringtone right now, and 'she is beautiful' works GRATE. the worst one has to be the one at&t has for 'jam on it' by newcleus -- you'd think they'd have picked the bass line, but no, instead it's the synth break in the middle on endless loop, and it just sounds like gobbledygook.

― maura (maura), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 18:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a Nokia and as far as I can tell I can't compose any ringtones. Is there a way to order a ringtone for free? Or get one online for free? I feel like my style is cramped with this list of ringtone options.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 18:46 (twenty-three years ago)

i used to have 'buddy holly', since i got a new phone i haven't changed it from the default sou...HOLY FUCK THAT MIDI RING NOISE JUST CAME ON THE HEADPHONES AT VOLUME 10 good lord jonathan u suck

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 19:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine plays Rubarb and Custard.
I used to make sure I always put something silly on whenever blokey borrowed the phone for college days. Fraggle Rock was embarrassing, as was hitting random buttons on the composer so you get an unlistenable jumbled mess.

I'm waiting for the day when you can record your own ringtones. Then I can have may phone saying "Ring Ring" in a suitably bored voice.

― celeste (Celeste), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 19:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I have suddenly realised that everyone on ILE is a twit.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 19:55 (twenty-three years ago)

You're mean.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 19:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Only just now you've realised this?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 20:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well you know N., it's twit for--

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 20:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine just goes ring-ring, ring-ring = I am an old man.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 23:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I would quite like to get a polyphonic one and record an old-skool telephone ring onto it.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 23:47 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

I finally got a usb cord for my cell-phone, and I found out that it's a lot easier and a LOT cooler-sounding to just make my own realtones with a wav editor than look around on the internet for midis. So now I've acheived my six-year goal of having a Watch Out Now ringtone, and I also have the "guitar" solo from Digital Love. !!!

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

destroy them all

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a john cage ringtone

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 01:06 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not nice to keep callers waiting.

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I miss about 16 calls a day

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Same here, I keep not being able to find my phone when it rings, and the crappy Nokia I'm using at the moment has an annoying "feature" whereby hitting any button but answer as it rings makes it hang up! I keep hangingn up on people by mistake.

Im suprised I started this thread, I don't remember doing so.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

A "Watch Out Now" ring tone would be awesome.

Someone at my work has a the Hallelujah Chorus in full polyphonic splendor at like maxx volume, it shakes us all out of our seats when it goes off. I always think to myself that it's like no one ever calls him, so when someone finally does it's like "hallelujah!"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 08:32 (twenty-one years ago)

for selected members of my army I have the Fader Gladiator star wars imperial march cover. for every bugger else they get Njoi, apart from helen who for some reason has been allocated the stupid bumblebee tone which i keep forgetting to change in fact i will do it now.

all the preset poly-watsit-tones on my phone are awful.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 09:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I made a midi version of Alter Ego's "Rocker" for my ring tone, but no-one ever rings me so it never gets annoying.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i use vibrate. am i the only here? please say it ain't so.

― nathalie in a bar under the sea (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i use vibrate when I'm at work or on train.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't remember what it is, but it's what they sing "forza neroblu, neroblu, neroblu, neroblu" to in Italy. I think it might also be the EU anthem or something like that. However I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really want the Sir Mix-a-lot ringtone. YOU... WANT... THIS... CALL AND YOU CANNOT LIE etc.

― Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe i could get 'Vibrate' by Petey Pablo.

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Have we really got this far without someone mentioning that singing fucking chicken?

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I have the CTU ringtone off "24". Whooaa, deep, a ringtone of a ringtone...

― Baaderonixxxorzh (Fabfunk), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Mine just sounds like a phone. I like that about it.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i only use vibrate. there's no need for it to ring because it's never really out of my pocket.

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

OTM. Search the vibrate function. Destroy pretty much all of the ringtones out there, especially because there are barely any downloadable Devo ringtones.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 12 May 2005 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

People with Tubular Bells ringtones that go off in the office should have pea soup poured over them.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

One of my colleagues has that stupid Bodyrockers song and it's set really loud and ultra-tinny. Release the hounds.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 12:51 (twenty years ago)

I only use ringtones that I have created or sampled myself. But in most public situations it's just much more kind to your fellow man to switch the fucker to vibrate.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

i have the "old phone" ring. lovely.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

I have to get a new cellphone, and one of the criteria for buying is that it must be able to play "The Final Countdown" ringtone.

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

I have three ring tones depending on who's calling: cubik by 808 state, the pink panther cartoon theme ('so now you've met the pink panther, the rinky-dink panther...'), and the Star Wars cantina band. Am I a bad person?

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

Heh, as of last Wednesday my phone plays "Caribou (live at Alexandra Palace 31/9/05)" :)

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 13:52 (twenty years ago)

As in the Pixies song? Does it blert "I lift cement, I HATE THIS STREET!" when it rings? Thats kinda twistedly cool :D

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

Or does it go "REPENT!!! RE-PEEENT!!!!"?

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

I'd be pretty freaked out if my phone started screaming "REPENT!!!" at me.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

my phone just blasts the sound effects of a loud freight train roaring and hooting by. and gets louder the longer i leave it unanswered. my other choice is a jet plane taking off.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

I'm giggling viciously at the idea of a screaming "REPENT!" in a quiet office.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

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