getting used to disappointment.

That's what keeps me going - the idea that there is more to learn and experience and do and look forward to. It sounds all hokey, but, well, it works for me. Last summer I was going through an icky situation - I (seriously) kept thinking about seeing "The Two Towers" and it gave me something to look forward to, and I was able to get through the shit. So find that thing that you are anticipating - and the thing after that and the thing after that.

As far as how you got where you are - only you can know that. But as to how to get out? Hang in there, look to the future and attainable goals, and then move toward them, slowly and surely. And keep thinking about the new things that you're going to get to see and hear and taste and touch and do - it's a perpetually evolving world and there's always more to experience.

i had similar situation last year (i did a thread too, 'fucked up' or something, i cant remeber, sometimes in sept i think if you want to look)

ill be on again later, or tomorrow am...

Things'll get better Mark, regroup and take care.

My significant other wrote a bio last year--it was one of the hardest periods of our relationship, so bad that we had to do one of those bullshit "break" things. He lost his job, got the gig writing, it seemed good, then the subject of the bio was a jerk, he was left with what he saw was a hack job instead of a decent book, the design was shit, the editor he got was a fuck up and changed all sorts of FACTS, and the publishing company refused to put any money into promoting it. I don't want to speak for him, but the description of your life is quite similar to what I saw him go through. It's now been almost six months since the book came out and it's opened a lot of doors--every review has been positive (to his shock!) and when it all comes down to it, he WROTE A BOOK--and that's what you're doing too!

I promised myself that I wouldn't write anything personal on the internet, but I figured, for your sake--because I've heard you're so gosh-darned nice, that I'd do it.

You're obviously commited to your project, it will be better than you think it is and it's an amazing acheivement. BTW: Your cover, unlike my fella's, is beautiful. I hope you get it matte! If I was your production manager, I would have insisted on it!

The only thing I can offer you is Guardado (in exchange for Spivey).

also mark this is all very lousy. from yr posts you always struck me as an excellent 'rebounder', for what that's worth. and however down you are on the book now, the commitment, focus etc it obv took to get you this far is worthy of praise and cheer.

it's 5pm = i'm leaving now. but there is a high possibility i will return to this thread drunk later on tonight.

*hugs* for mark.

Quite right. Glad to hear that this thread has helped ya, some, m'friend. We'll think the good thoughts. :-)

as if it's been a fucking year! things have gotten better, for the most part. i went to europe for 5-6 months, saw a lot, met some incredible people, bred a bug. my parents have separated, thereby putting an end to a horrendous 25 year run. they believe in euthanasia. my siblings are strong but still in real trouble - i worry for their lives, almost on a daily basis. my ex is still my ex, no chance otherwise. otherwise good: i see lots of shows, write lots of stories, lead a busy life. the book came and went, minor successes, minor failures. can't imagine doing one any time soon. job opportunities are good i guess, but all in an industry that i'm increasingly ambivalent about. school and travel look appealing again.

tonight: conversations about late 20s steeped in ambivalance. begs questions, a drive i've lost touch with. even things that looked big and good only three years ago now seem small-fry and constrictive. i have a funny feeling that the wait is almost up, if not for any other reason other than i'm tired of waiting.

for now, bed.