SUBGENIUS BOB: C/D

Subgenius radio was great, too.

Did your friend belong to the Church of the Little Green Man?

we are the ones we left behind. If only we had been ordained.

Not that the Subgenius isn't totally goofy too, its just different.

My Patron SubGenius Diety is

http://www.brainpuke.com/tests/subgod/jesus.jpg

Click here to find out who your patron diety is at BRAINPUKE.COM!

Click here if you don't know who the hell the Fightin' Jesus is!

My Patron SubGenius Diety is

http://www.brainpuke.com/tests/subgod/mwowm.jpg

Click here to find out who your patron diety is at BRAINPUKE.COM!

Click here if you don't know who the hell MWOWM is!

http://www.brainpuke.com/tests/subgod/nhgh.jpg

Yikes.

http://ec3.images-amazon.com/images/P/1560259396.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V51595085_.jpg

Meet “Bob.” Lord of the SubGenius. Scientific Shaman. Big Brother Au-Go-Go. He sits comfortably at the apex of the pyramid of worldly knowledge, twiddling his thumbs. His word, according to followers, is The Word, and that word is Slack. Beyond science, reason — and orgasm — find in Bobliography instant instructions for those who follow no master.

The third installment of the holy SubGenius books, Bobliography is an uproarious send-up of all things cult. In addition to providing a guide for Eternal Salvation (or triple your money back), Bobliography is the encapsulated history of the SubGenius “movement” — from its beginnings in the 1980s to the growing Internet empire it has lately become — and also the essential, comprehensive collection of SubGenius lore. A Whole Earth catalog for the Deeply Weird, a Farmer’s Almanac for the Truly Strange — Bobliography is the revelation of the millennium.

It's actually probably all mp3ed up on the stark fist site, but I'm laaaaaaaazy.

My Patron SubGenius Diety is

http://www.brainpuke.com/tests/subgod/mammon.jpg

Click here to find out who your patron diety is at BRAINPUKE.COM!

Click here if you don't know who the hell Mammon is!

tract, even.

My Patron SubGenius Diety is

http://www.brainpuke.com/tests/subgod/mwowm.jpg

Click here to find out who your patron diety is at BRAINPUKE.COM!

Click here if you don't know who the hell MWOWM is!

My Patron SubGenius Diety is

http://www.brainpuke.com/tests/subgod/bhead.jpg

Click here to find out who your patron diety is at BRAINPUKE.COM!

Click here if you don't know who the hell the Bleeding Head of the World Cup Golfer is!

My Patron SubGenius Diety is

http://www.brainpuke.com/tests/subgod/connie.jpg

Click here to find out who your patron diety is at BRAINPUKE.COM!

Click here if you don't know who the hell 'Connie' Dobbs is!

THE WHY A GOAT? SHIRT: The brave and hardy administrators of Taphouse IRC (the official IRC network of the Church of the SubGenius) have begun a fundraiser for Magdalen's legal fund, by producing T-shirts with a goat head logo and the quote "Why a goat?" (as was repeated by the original judge in this case). These shirts are being sold for $20, of which $8.10 of every sale will go directly to her legal fund. All help is appreciated, and every little bit helps. The URL for the fund-raiser is:
http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=32908

This is good news. On January 6, SubGenius Rev. Magdalen got her child back in a custody case after a pink judge took him away from her because she participated in a sacred SubGenius ritual event.

Reverend Magdalen announced today that she has received a call from her lawyer stating the custody battle has been won. She will rejoin her son on Monday, January 8, 2007. The official judge's decision will be made public then.

SUDDEN UPDATE, January 12, 2007.

As is often the case in these situations, a last-minute emergency has arisen. Reverend Magdalen writes:

"I went to pick [my son] from school yesterday. I wrote and telephoned the principal, Mr. Matt Penrod ( [email protected] ), emailing him a copy of Judge Adams’ Court Order giving me residential custody, and informing him I was coming to get [my son] and not to let Jeff take him. As I was driving to the school to pick [my son] up, I telephoned to double-check. Mr. Penrod informed me that he had allowed Jeff to take [my son].

"[My son] and Jeff were missing until this morning, when Jeff returned [my son] to school. It was the most frightening night of my life.

"The reason Jeff did all this is that there is a Stay hearing today. It’s just like when the Presidential election happened and Antonin Scalia ordered Florida to stop counting votes. Basically, Jeff has asked an Appeals Court judge to stay the order of Judge Adams, and they are going to decide on that this afternoon. For some reason, Jeff thought that this Stay hearing gave him the right to do what he did, or so he claims. He is wrong, of course, but he still got away with it. The police looked for them all evening and didn’t find them.

"The Stay hearing starts at 3 PM and I’m fighting to have [my son] with me at that time, because I’m afraid that if the stay is denied, Jeff may take off with [my son] again just like last night."

I.e., not for me. Though Mavrides' art is cool.

That said, the story about Rev. Mags is sickening. In opposing state-sanctioned religious tyranny like that, I'm totally down with the Subs.

UPDATE...

This has to be the strangest series of twists in the case...

On July 6th:

After originally being scheduled for June 22, the decision of the appeals court in the case of Reverend Magdalen has been announced. In a brief two-page announcement, the court has awarded custody of her son to the father. Stating that the father "deserved" custody of Magdalen's son, the court declared that the father's home would be his primary residence, and the matter is being referred back to family court to arrange for visitation rights for her.

The decision cancels a number of paragraphs of the decision of Judge Eric Adams, in January 2007. However, it does not remove Judge Adams' order for Magdalen to remove all SubGenius materials from her home. Even though her son is no longer in her custody, she still cannot keep any SubGenius materials in her own home, except for a specially designated "office."

Magdalen is still conferring with her lawyer at this time, and has not yet made a statement.

And then on July 16th

Today I (Modemac) wrote an email to Magdalen, asking how things were going and looking to see if she was going to lay her case to rest. She wrote back, saying there have been some new developments in the case. These new developments have caught everyone completely off guard.

I'm talking The Twilight Zone here.

For legal reasons, I obviously can't go into too many details, becase there are other parties involved in this. Basically, some time last week, Jeff was in a car accident involving a brick wall, a lot of alcohol, and another passenger – NOT MAGDALEN'S SON, praise "Bob." Because of past incidents involving him and at least one other DUI, he is now facing at least two felonies, a misdemeanor, and three traffic charges – which, combined, could land him in jail for up to eleven years.

All of this means that, due to the sudden extreme circumstances, Magdalen has temporary custody of her son at this time. There will be a new custody hearing in the middle of August. Jeff's criminal hearing will be in September, but that is an entirely different matter.

BUT, that's not the strangest thing to happen here.

JUDGE PUNCH IS BACK ON THE CASE.

He literally took the case out of Judge Adams' docket and inserted himself in. He is now handling the case once again, however because of everything that has happened, he is apparently viewing the case in an entirely different light.

Magdalen is hopeful though apprehensive, for obvious reasons. She wants to appeal the ruling barring her from keeping SubGenius materials in her home, on Constitutional grounds.

Magdalen writes: ""Anyway, it turns out that we can pursue both a new appeal and this new county-level case simultaneously, so I would like to try to do that, but I would need $5,000 in new money to start the appeal, plus the $11,000 I've racked up in charges for the original appeal and filing these things. My lawyer has agreed to work for half his normal rate, though, because he is so angry about all this."

There's a little more to this, but this is all I'm at liberty to say. Magdalen doesn't want to leave everyone hanging here, and we want you to know what's going on. However, for more concrete details, we will need to hear directly from her.

Magdalen is still desperately in need of funds. Even though we all thought it was over, apparently we have entered yet another phase.

Subgenius is so hella classic. The person who will marry the man & I in our ceremony is a good friend who is licensed Subgenius reverend (and ULC, too, but who isn't these days?).

Not as good as Discordia tho.

And finally a resolution...

As of October 4, 2009, the case has been dismissed and custody of Reverend Magdalen's son has been awarded to her. This appears to mean that after over three years of legal wrangling and over $100,000 in costs to her, Magdalen, her husband, and her ex-boyfriend are back to the status quo. That, plus she is still the only SubGenius officially banned from keeping SubGenius materials in her home, where her innocent son might accidentally come across them and become corrupted into the corrupt, obscene, decadent SubGenius cult that got his Mom into trouble in the first place.

And that's it...

Rev. Ivan Stang announced today his retirement from the SubGenius Foundation, citing his ill demeanor and declining patience with internal conflict among the members of the SubGenius Church, appointing long-time collaborator Dr.K'taden Legume to the position of President and CEO of the Foundation.

Rev. Stang will continue to produce his nationally syndicated radio program, "The Hour of Slack", and attend personal speaking engagements. Rev.Stang later commented, "I'm sick to death of dealing with idiots when my time can be better spent attempting to capture the vicious Jaggi".

from the SubGenius Foundation's FB page:

Stang Retirement "News Release" Confession

We hate to have to reveal this so soon, but the hoax (originally published ONLY on SubGenius sites) is already making the news -- which should tell you something about the dependability of the news.

That "news release" about Stang retiring was merely another in a series of SubIntelligence Tests: a Gullibility Test in this case. We truly thought it too preposterous for ANYBODY to believe. So, despite previous similar tests, we are again sincerely surprised to see how many, ahem, "SubGeniuses" failed utterly to see through what should have been grossly obvious as a put-on -- especially within the context of The Church of the SubGenius. Every now and then we do things like this to sweep out the wishful thinkers, Gimme-Bobs, the eagerly gullible and a new species: those too dumb EVEN to be a SubGenius (something we previously imagined to be a contradiction in terms).

Some folks can't handle or even recognize satire unless it has a laugh track or Smiley-Face icon attached to it, and those are NOT the kind of people that are going to benefit from "Bob's" Church; many such individuals have in fact become huge liabilities in times past. You might call it "Spring Cleaning." Weeding out the "believer" types and/or the Slacklessly judgmental -- or, rather, setting up a situation whereby they weed themselves out in reflex butthurt ragequitting -- increases the likelihood of the Xists coming through this year, FINALLY. For, as it says in The PreScriptures, "The Conclusion-Jumper shall be at The Judgment."

Again, for those with reading comprehension disabilities:

I, Stang, am not retiring; we just wanted to see how various people, especially certain chronically jealous haters, would react to a transparently absurd hoax. We were eager to see who would WANT to believe it.

The most hilariously indignant responses were selected for reading on HOUR OF SLACK #1365, aired last Sunday night. Special thanks to Dr. Legume for writing the news release, and to the chronic whiner who did everything he possibly could to get himself "banned," yet failed even at that. What he DID manage to do was inspire this particular test session.

There will be another pop quiz tomorrow.

For those who must have this sort of thing spelled out, the news about the SubGenius mom's missing child, and his subsequently being found, was NOT a hoax.

Last time I heard Stang being interviewed (about four months ago) it seemed like he was sincerely ready to quit.

That FB post reminds me of an ingrown toenail.

Got to say this is still my favorite parody religion. I read something recently about a Flying Spaghetti Monster guy who 'won' the right to wear a spaghetti strainer on his head for his driver's license photo. Thank "Bob" I never got into those clowns. Subgenius stuff just seems to have far more satirical depth than "LOL Christians"!

otm

yeah - not all subgenius stuff holds up, it was always uneven, but some of its best stuff - especially the definition of slack - is totally classic

"Get in Bob's pipe and let him smoke you" has always seemed like an A+ church teaching to me.

So! Guess I never told this story here -- years ago, in 1991, I remember watching MTV late one night, seeing a station promo that was actually all about the Church and Bob and featured Ivan Stang and going "Wait, WHAT?" And it was over and I didn't tape it and I missed it, and never saw it again. But I was sure I had seen it and remembered it.

Of course, I never thought to check YouTube, where Stang himself did the hosting honors:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt9MP70ODNw

On top of which -- a souvenir/behind the scenes documentary bit. If you have forty minutes, settle in!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cBHaSmH58s

Quick note that a Kickstarter for a documentary on the Church and Bob is 24 hours away from wrapping up:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2049586998/the-church-of-the-subgenius-a-documentary?ref=ennl3h&token=187ebfd8

They're just a few thousand short so if you can, kick in!

sad that "Bob" is reduced to such grovelling. yet this was kind of always the way.

the universe gives that "Bob" may receive. this is the way of Slack.

im very interested to see the alt comics and Devo connections elaborated upon. Paul Mavrides (LIES) is super rad. a lot of artists from the world of Underground Comics contributed to Subgenius stuff at its formation. hopefully they show more of that and less talking heads saying how it inspired them to get into advertising.

looking forward to the x-day animated re-creations. feel like pop culture has sort of caught up to that techno-hedonist sensibility and the Adult Swim crowd will eat it up.

"its all a con!"

https://www.texasmonthly.com/the-daily-post/the-church-of-the-subgenius-finally-plays-it-straight/

Another thing is, look what happened to other put-ons when nobody was around to say, “Hey look, this started as a put-on.” Scientology, the Mormons, the entire New Age basically sprang from joke pamphlets done by a couple guys with fake names four hundred years ago. A lot of people don’t know that history. I’m acutely aware of it, and I don’t want the church of the SubGenius to turn into Scientology.