Attention: I Found Love

I think it is good, Mike. Enjoy the warm glow. :-)

Bryan Adams is even more insidious if you're going through a breakup tho... I actually teared up. AT THE OFFICE. Can you say crawl under a rock and die?

That said, lust is like moths. Comes out at night and keeps you awake.

I'm taking Kate's Mum's advice as my permanent relationship guide.

If I had ever actually taken my mum's advice, I would have had a long and lonely life up until now.

But then again, this is the first ::knock on wood:: actually successful relationship I've really had, and coincidentally, it was the first where he was in love with me, well before I was in love with him. So maybe it has some merit...

Kate, I must say that it most certainly can work for guys. I formulated a strict policy of only asking out women that I knew were interested in me (usually via some external information source). This led to my marriage. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

No, my point is that my mum's advice is somewhat rubbish, and does not work if *BOTH* parties follow it. How would you know that your future wife was even interested, if *she* had followed my mum's advice, and not made her interest known until you had shown interest in you?

*Someone* has to make the first move.

And speaking of moving, I really *should* get a leg on, because I'm supposed to be in Swiss Cottage packing up boxes for my move.

D'oh! I mean, until you had shown an interest in her.

Kate: theory still possible without direct communication - note that Dan mentioned "external sources". The face-to-face equivalent of those e-crush things, heh...

Now that you've found love what are you gonna doo-oooo... with it?

In terms of wishing you were there or she was with you -- happens all the time. You've got to work it out as you can, I'm afraid -- no magic formula.

That's no lady. I'll give it a month.

Bah, bug and hum! Okay, I'm jealous. It all sounds very tip-top.

Err... it isn't an .net-romance is it??

...says the girl who's just moved to Tooting- bloody TOOTING- to be with her sweetie.

Spend longer and longer amounts of time together, if possible. If your entire relationship consists of sporadic passionate weekends together, there's no way you can judge by that. Try to spend a week or two or longer together, before you make the final decision to move. Not just because the emotional thrill of seeing someone is so intense as to overwhelm you for a day or two, but because people can maintain a facade for a few days much easier than weeks- their "true personality" will begin to show through more and more.

Second of all, when and if you get to the stage of moving, make sure that you establish your OWN life in the city to which you are moving. Because if you are entirely dependant on your loved one to provide everything- emotional, social, monetary, etc.- the relationship has too much pressure on it. Find a job *before* you move, make efforts to discover as much as possible about the place and what it has to offer you. Starting an "in the flesh" living together relationship is hard enough in and of itself- you don't want to combine the problems with the problems of moving.

Seriously- good luck. People can and do often have wonderful, successful relationships this way. I'm just cynical because I got extremely badly burned in the process of an internet relationship that turned stalker. So be careful!

Not strictly true. If you get to know someone over email, etc. they have the opportunity to construct a persona that can be unnrelated to the way they react and behave in real life. There is a real opportunity to be dishonest about things like how old you are, etc. I have heard some real horror stories along those lines. I think people need to actually have spent some time together before getting too serious about a relationship.

Tony Montana?