Smile, it might never happen!

Actually, it made me laugh when I was going through a really rough time and I was mentally willing people to say this so I could completely let rip, but of course no-one did.

That afternoon I went into work because there was something which needed doing. On the way home I was absolutely exhausted and was struggling down the hill towards the bus.

Some grinning student idiot came right up to me and regaled me with a "Cheer up! it might never happen!" I resisted the urge to throttle her. I gave her a very dirty look and then hobbled off (I considered going back and letting rip Vicky style but I didn't really have the energy or inclination). It seemed a peculiarly cruel thing to say to me that day.

(Happily I was only seriously ill, and only temporarily so, thanks for asking.)

My grandfather offered me a penny for my thoughts in 1979, discrediting steve m's claims. I think that was the first time I had ever heard the expression. I told him I was thinking about whether or not to make a thing I'd seen on Blue Peter. I can't remember if he ever paid up. Maybe that was the first time I got to hear the word 'figurative', too. Cunts.

"funny C*nt aren't you you tw@t" came my unimpressed response while rushing to get the train before it left.

Why are some people such tossers?

We were at a lecture on Matisse.

bill hicks

an old one but a belter.

That's odd, I have heard this one a few times. I don't know, maybe it depends on what part of the country you are in.

Sometimes I get depressed just thinking about plain old death because, dammit I wanted the big death with the sparkly things on it, and I know I pointed it out to my folks in the catalog at least 20 times before xmas.

"it just did"

2. I wish Chris had twatted that bloke with his flowers. That would have been really good, that would.

3. "Penny for them?" is worse than, "Penny for your thoughts?" I always associate it with "to spend a penny".

Much, *much* prefer that though, to the alternative: 'what are you thinking?', which is only ever said by creepy blokes trying to pick me up, and girlfriends who I'm about to split up with.

If someone tells me to smile, I'm much more inclined to want to kick their ass than to smile.

(not that I'm in a pissed-off mood right now or anything)