You're a big fat liar. Admit it.

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What was the last lie you told, big or tiny?
C'mon, out with it

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm lying right now, to tell you the truth.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:24 (twenty-two years ago)

lier

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

the dog ate my homework.

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I just told my mom that no, she hadn't done anything to make me mad at her; the fact is, her asking the question in such a passive-aggressive way kinda pissed me off.

Oh, and I said I wouldn't mind putting the plates back on the electical sockets. And told my kids that a blatant sexual reference on a sitcom was about "kissing." And told an editor I'd get a piece in tonight.

And told myself that I'm getting better.

― Neudonym, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I quite regularly tell huge porkies to Emma's 11-year-old brother in much the same manner that Calvin's Dad tells porkies in Calvin & Hobbes. Absolutely blatant falsehoods that nobody but an exceptionally naive 11-year-old could belive, ie; "I'm going to Wolverhampton now to buy some cake," when Emma and I were actually off to the pub (he believed us) or "I used to be in the army and they trained me as a ninja" (he didn't know whether to believe me or not [with hindsight the ninja thing was perhaps a step too far]) and various assorted other falsehoods and fibs to keep me amused and make his world seem that little bit more interesting. The only thing is that now he doesn't believe me when I tell him an odd truth, such as "I went to Wales today to star in a war film" or whatever.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 08:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Er - duh.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 08:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I was on a bus once, and a very harrassed young mum was sitting opposite me trying to get her very fractious toddler to behave and stop grizzling. Everyone on the bus was getting fed-up with him screaming and throwing things. The kid happened to catch my eye, and for some completely inexplicable reason I said "You had better behave yourself, because otherwise I'll turn you into a frog because I am a witch!"

The smart-arsed kid looked thoughtfully at me for a minute, and then said, boldly "If you're a witch, prove it!"

The bus was stationary by this time, at red traffic lights. I told the kid I could make the traffic lights change colour, pointed my finger at the lights and said "now!". And they changed, instantly. I don't know who was more shocked by this, me, the kid or his mother. But it kept him wide-eyed and quiet for the rest of the journey.

(It was a lie because I am not really a witch, obv)

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 08:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh what a shame. *sulks*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 08:43 (twenty-two years ago)

CJ you deserve a medal, and would you like some eye of newt to go with that?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 08:48 (twenty-two years ago)

It is true CJ, you are a genius!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 08:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Ph34r m3, and all that stuff :)

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 08:54 (twenty-two years ago)

CJ, that is the best way to freak out little kids. I often used my 'powers' to change the lights on road trips when my sister was acting up. It works on kids until they're about seven.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i once told a girl i was an ex-cosmonaut laid off due to budget cuts in the russian space program. she asked me if i'd like a job. i didn't get it.

― cameron, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 10:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I told someone the English charts were so easy to get into even my old teenage band got to no. 17. She believed me, but only cos I'm so good and honest in general.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

you were in Shed Seven?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 10:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't have even joked about it if I had been

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, hahahahaha!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, none of the real, professional bullshitters will come within 1,000 yards of this thread.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 11:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Recreational lying - CLASSIC or DUD

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i still don't know if andrew was telling the truth about m*ke h*sking being his cousin.

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Cretan paradox to thread

― alext (alext), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 09:53 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

Peanut Butter Jelly Banana is no longer :(

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't remember the last lie I told, so that either means I never lie or I lie so much that I take no notice of it.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahaha how did that post end up on this thread? I meant to post the Peanut Butter Jelly Banana thing to the "what are you thinking" thread.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks for the update anyway. I was wondering about it the other day.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I know! He had a good song. "Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!"

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"I lie a lot, it's really useful."

One of my favorite quotes.

― Larcole (Nicole), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

*checks source of quote* Hahaha! "Oh, and reggae isn't vile at all. Gimme a Big Mac. You think the waitress would do me?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Those damned liberals in the media are trying to shake our moral convictions with their political correctness run amok.

― Rush Limbaugh (nickalicious), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

Okay - a girl in my work is a serial liar - she lies about everything - even things that can easily be checked upon.

Her first Big Lie was telling us all about her fancy £125.000 showhome, this was exposed (by her) when she invited a group of us to her house to celebrate her £20K windfall (dead uncle left her the money). She lives in a modest two bedroom flat in a rather rundown area.

The money her dead uncle left her she was going to use to buy a brand new Golf. This was months ago, no Golf materialised so she told us the showroom had her money but had not come forward with the car and she was involved in 'Legal Wrangles' with them.

She says her Dad was a professional footballer but had to give it up when her mum became pregnant with her. His name does not appear on any searches we've performed.

She said her sister had given birth to twins - this was to attract attention back to herself when a colleague went on mat. leave. The sister gave birth on a beach and was taken into hospital for observation - one of us snoopers called her sisters work and the sister answered the phone.

This tipped her off, she's been on sick leave for the past two weeks.

What compels someone to lie so spectacularly? Is it a condition???

― Rumpie, Friday, 7 October 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

One of her lies was pretty unforgiveable - she told us she was infertile and started sobbing. We all felt like shite, until she told us the reason for her infertility was 'she had lost too much weight too quickly'.

She said she had lost 14 stone in four months just before she joined the company on a radical new diet.

― Rumpie, Friday, 7 October 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

http://snl.jt.org/arc/char/JoLo-Tommy%20Flanagan.jpg

― oops (Oops), Friday, 7 October 2005 21:18 (twenty years ago)

R. I know someone like that also! They must be delusional to think that other people will believe them. These are a few from this girl:

(1) I was born on a beach in South Africa.
(2) My "uncle" died and left me a diamond mine.
(3) My grandmother survived one of Stalin's gulags.
(4) I had to have an operation on my ovaries (but then she turned up to a party the following night, wearing midriff-exposing top, and wow no scar at all. Gee those surgeons must be getting pretty good, they can even operate without cutting you open!)

There have been many others, also smaller lies which you're not really sure if they're lies or not - so hence that makes you distrust everything that comes out of their mouths. Sad really.

― salexander / sophie (salexander), Saturday, 8 October 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

A friend of mine once told me he drew John Lennons portrait. Seeing as he's my age (34) he wouldve had to do so at like, age 12 or less, so umm.. I DONT THINK SO.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 8 October 2005 09:05 (twenty years ago)

Maybe he was a child prodigy. Or it was a false memory, like when people see photographs & think they remember what was happening then. Or maybe it was a joke? Then again, he could just have been lying right to your face.

― salexander / sophie (salexander), Saturday, 8 October 2005 09:13 (twenty years ago)

bob dylan to thread!

― jbr is the value obtained from the leptonic branching ratio measurement and (Jod, Saturday, 8 October 2005 09:24 (twenty years ago)

But couldn't he draw Lennon's portrait right now? Also, I thought ovary ops generally cut in at a top corner of the pubic area, so wouldn't show on most midriff-open outfits anyway. This is NOT to suggest I therefore doubt your opinion that these people were liars - I mean, most of the individual claims are perfectly possible in themselves, it's the accumulation, generally, I think.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 October 2005 09:40 (twenty years ago)

They were very low pants. Besides, it might not have been anything to do with ovaries; I just remember we were all agog as two gogs to see her bopping around on the dancefloor after supposedly having a serious operation. You're spot on though that it's all in the accumulation of facts rather than isolated claims.

― salexander / sophie (salexander), Saturday, 8 October 2005 09:57 (twenty years ago)

I have to admit I'm reluctant to j'accuse someone when they start telling fantastic stories. I guess erm, recent posts by a certain ILXor show that sometimes, you just dunno how to deal with such things. And then there's the whole "I was attacked/raped" thing... argh.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 8 October 2005 10:00 (twenty years ago)

I believed many of the things she told me until we all compared the various stories she's made up. Priceless. We're all hoping she comes back because it makes for quality entertainment.

― Rumpie, Saturday, 8 October 2005 10:53 (twenty years ago)

And then there's the whole "I was attacked/raped" thing... argh.

anyone remember the tawana brawley case?

― jbr is the value obtained from the leptonic branching ratio measurement and (Jod, Saturday, 8 October 2005 11:06 (twenty years ago)

That's disgusting. Women who cry rape are pretty damn low in my opinion.

― Rumpie, Saturday, 8 October 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

it was a GREAT story, though. the grand jury report gives a very detailed account of everything that happened (and didn't happen).

― jbr is the value obtained from the leptonic branching ratio measurement and (Jod, Saturday, 8 October 2005 11:22 (twenty years ago)

Um...who are 'we'? What 'stories' are you comparing, and who are you hoping comes back?

Intimation in the form of a code is no escape clause for slander. But keep it coming.

― whiteout (bobnope), Saturday, 8 October 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

rumpie is talking about the coworker she mentioned upthread.

― glasgow coma score (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 8 October 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

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