MIKEY BIDNESS vs AMERICA: EPISODE ONE - SOUTHERN SHOWDOWN

"Tonight I did yoga, and the thing that always cracks me up about the yoga video I exercise to (Yoga Zone -- Flexibility and Tone with Yogiraj Alan Finger. Hahaha. Finger.) is that there's an ad immediately preceding the exercise bit, hawking the soundtrack containing the music used on the video. And it's all a bunch of synthy Wyndham Hill shit, yeah, but what's really great about that album are the names of the artists/bands on it. For example, on this album alone, there was not only a David Arkenstone, but a Shadowfax. Hahahaha, how sad do you have to be to name your band Shadowfax? "MAIN INFLUENCES: RUSH AND THE LATER YEARS OF STYX. FURKING ROCK, MAN. AFTER I ROLL TO SEE HOW MY ICE MAGE KILLS YOUR SWAMP WITCH, LET'S HIT THE SYNTHS MAAAAAN. FURKING RAWWWWWWWK!.......NO, MOM, THEY'RE STAYING THE NIGHT! I DID DO THE LAUNDRY! bitch."

And how about that David Arkenstone. I refuse to believe that that is his actual last name. Why doesn't he just name himself Unwashed McHobbit. Or Jizzpalms O'Capey. Hahaha. New age musicians. They kill me. My mom bought this chakra meditation CD a few years ago, and the artist was called Bodo Baginski. HAHAHAHAHA. Actually, he was part of a duo, called Merlin's...Merlin's something or other. It was so fucking funny. Do these people forget that their D&D names are not their names in real life?"