Etiquette Question

I'm curious about the setting for this whole conversation and whether or not the woman was intoxicated - it sounds like something I would try to do when drunk.

how do you address a letter to a baron + his wife jointly?

Dear Baron and Jointly

Word up, G

Serious answer.
Lord and Lady.

Barons are right at the bottom of the aristo tree and still get called Lord and Lady.

Thanking you.

follow-up:

ok, so, on the envelope i put 'lord and lady [non-controversial edit]'

BUT THEN

i go 'dear lord and lady XXX'?!?

seems fucked up but, well, that's the class sytem for you.

this country.

If someone that we will hypothetically call Ignatio were to have once peed in the lobby of a hotel room whilst drunk, is it bad that I...err he did not offer to clean it up?

err, that should say lobby of a hotel.

It was certainly impolite not to offer to clean it up, unless you - er, Ignacio - was drunk enough to be physically incapable of cleaning up, in which case a brief explanantion of this fact, followed by an apology and an offer to compensate in some other way or at some other time would have been in order.

Ok. So the ruling is that I acted like a jackass. I will serve my sentence.

is it good 'netiquette' to MAKE ALL OF YOUR THREAD TITLES REALLY INSANELY LONG AND ANNOYING AND IN CAPS LOCK?

YES!

here's a semi-serious one, if a guest visits your house and you're not the one that invited them, opened the door for, or have any relation with, you are just sitting in the room, are you supposed to look up at the guest and say HI, or is the guest supposed to greet you first. hehe.

I read the first two posts and wondered what the B stood for in L0u15 B J4gg3r.

I feel like such an old fogey even bringing this up, but feel free to put me in check, I suppose. When I'm hanging out with a friend, and he's constantly checking his cell phone and sending text messages, it tends to irk me. Not just once or twice, but constantly, like every 5-10 minutes. Even worse for the ones with an iPhone because on top of that they're emailing and web browsing and playing games and all the other crap you can do on it. Somewhat annoying - doing this while we're sitting somewhere watching a movie or TV show. Really annoying - we're hanging out or meeting up for lunch or coffee or something, so I end up staring at a wall or something while this is going on. Can't help but feel it's a little disrespectful.

As a guy who doesn't even pay for a text message plan on his phone, am I just resigned to accepting this is how the world is now? I have brought it up to the aforementioned friends, but inevitably come off as a dick when I ask people to not do these things. I know to some extent, people are hooked on all this cell phone stuff, it's become a compulsion that's accepted by society these days.

am I just resigned to accepting this is how the world is now?

yes

alternately, find friends who do not do these things or ppl who are understanding enough to see where you're coming from when you kindly ask them to stop

It is rude. It cannot be anything but rude. Even if that is how the world is these days it is still rude, and could only exist where standards of politeness have degraded substantially. Luckily, many people still understand this and act accordingly. Those who do not are... rude.

otm, this is grade A disgusting savagery.

I've been in a similar situation and just said 'Goddam it put your m'f'ng phone away - I didn't come out to watch you dick around on that thing, you're just prioritising people who aren't here over people who are. Jesus.'

He was a bit sheepish and said 'Yeah, sorry' and the rest of the evening was fine. After all, it's kind of a compliment. Kind of.

It's incredibly rude. i want to kill people who do that, but that would be rude too.
If you're meeting people socially, by arrangement, you ought to turn your phone off, or put it on silent for the duration: if you're expecting an important call and can't, explain this to the person you're with, and, when the call arrives, apologise and go outside - or at least out of earshot. Then apologise again when you come back.

ehh I wouldn't go quite that far. I don't check texts when in company but I would answer a call, and if it was someone wanting a chat I would explain I was otherwise engaged. Not that anyone would ever call me for a chat :)

'Goddam it put your m'f'ng phone away - I didn't come out to watch you dick around on that thing, you're just prioritising people who aren't here over people who are. Jesus.'

AMEN

If you're meeting people socially, by arrangement, you ought to turn your phone off

Are you serious? Anyway I check my phone a few times. Not every ten minutes but still a few times. Get with it, this is the 21st century. I usually do it when my friend is ordering a drink at the bar or has gone to the toilet.

alternately, find friends who do not do these things or ppl who are understanding enough to see where you're coming from when you kindly ask them to stop

― ksh, Sunday, April 25, 2010 1:17 PM (8 hours ago)

thanx for this advice

It took me ages to get a mobile phone because I didn't like the manners deficit it seems to have created in many of my colleagues, who do not need further encouragement to behave like media swivelheads. Sometimes I very politely ask the offender if they wouldn't mind being just a bit more present - if someone makes time for you, it's rude to divide your attention between them and a gadget, whatever the gadget.

Seriously tempted to get out own phone the next time this happens, because I could always send them a text saying 'if you do that again, drinks are on you.'

^^^ I took my nephew on a trip to NYC when he graduated from high school a few year ago, and he spent nearly the entire time texting rather than, you know, experiencing this fantastic city to which he'd never been. So I did exactly what suzy describes. Once, I texted him and said, "Stop it." Another time I called him in the middle of his texting.

There was a remark about this very thing on Curb your Enthusiasm last night: 'would you start reading a book when you're with a friend?'

The years have not decreased the laughs every time I have opened this thread over the years to read the opening post...

well, you wouldn't read a book because it's not remotely the same thing.

idk i've never had a problem with this - maybe i just have well-mannered friends though - pretty much everyone i know is fine with checking their phones etc but i think this sort of thing ideally develops its own etiquette. ie not mid-conversation, certainly not while someone else is talking, but in the lulls. i wouldn't take a call unless it was a specific one i was expecting. a good proportion of texts in social situations are from friends coming along later asking for times or directions - it's rude to ignore those! if someone answers a text while i'm with them i generally take the opportunity to check as well.

internetting in these situations is appalling behaviour though.

True, most people know how to do it unobtrusively, and the specific situation above when I said something was because the chap was just a compulsive checker.

No, sure, its an exaggeration for a chuckle.

I'd go when the really depends when its done - as Nathalie says, its a gd way to spend time while your friend is away buying drinks...I think when I have done it (although I often switch off but sometimes I forget) I do excuse myself. xp

Jesus

So does The Redeemer of Mankind prefer an iPhone or an Android based mobile?

It was some knackered piece of shit that clacked loudly whenever you thumbed a text key iirc.

I do always take calls from my mom, the doctor, or some person I've probably warned my companion about.

Lex does raise the interesting and correct point of people trying to meet who need to call the designated cat herder. I don't think anyone would feel slighted by those calls. You cross into the realms of unacceptability if you've arranged to see a few people socially and you're acting like you're not really with them.

What I really hate is how phones encourage the rolling appointment or the last-minute cancellation, as if nobody else but that person has schedules or deadlines.

Thanks for the input and reassurance, guys! I feel like I'm the only person I know who hasn't completely fallen to this.

As the last person standing who doesn't own a cell phone, I feel your pain on this. And I am w/the lex and suzy on where this dude is crossing the line. (Also I hope when you say he does it while watching movies, you mean at your house on the TV and not in a theater. No tiny glowy screens in the theater. Recently I went to the movies & someone was talking on their cell *on speakerphone* in the middle of the movie. When enough angry people had persuaded her to hang up & stfu, she ended the call by saying, "I gotta hang up, the people here are being RUDE bitches.")

I've been out with a few folks and gotten irked with this, although one guy who seemed to be doing it a lot I later realised he was just being a nutrition nazi and entering details of his meal into some iphone app calorie counter thing, then put it away. I don't think this is particularly rude. When you're just dicking around on the internet or texting ppl for the hell of it, that's rude.