etiquette of [not actual] subletting.

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I am going away to another country on wednesday.

I will be gone for one day short of five weeks.

I have to pay rent at my place while I am gone.

I live with three friends.

another friend has just got a job in town and he doesn't have a flat here.

he will have to be looking for one while working and commuting pretty far every day.

I offer him my room while I am not here.

he says "perfect."

I say something similar.

he gets a place to stay while he finds something of his own.

I get some money towards my rent that I have to pay while not being here.

my flatmates have all met him.

one thinks he's OK, I think.

another thinks 'whatever', I think [but he is just like that--cares not for people].

the other thinks nothing, maybe, as she hasn't spoken to him.


flatmate #1 says "oh, no, not him!! ... well, I don't mind."

flatmate #2 says "no. I don't like the idea of it." he says we might have some probs soon w/ multiple occupancy issues [I don't know] and doesn't want this extra complication. I say it makes things no more complicated and, if we've probs on the way, what the fuck?

flatmate #3 says "I don't think you should" because she has known #2 the longest and knows his 'view'. but, I think, she agrees w/ me re: what the fuck?


ultimately it is up to me if I give my keys to my friend.

I tell them and ask what they will say. I don't like what they say.

my friend is in need of a favour and I am [in a way] in need of a [financial] favour and I have done favours in the past and wasn't planning on not doing any in the future [for flatmates].


my friend is not a dick. well, he is a bit. but I only say that because I actually know him. I don't think he's a dick to people who don't know him. except flatmate #2, to whom everyone he doesn't know is a dick.

[flatmate #2 is the mess-maker/non-tidier in the flat, too, and this just makes me resent his having a contrary opinion on this more].

I am leaving soon and hadn't actually thought about this until I was talking to my friend last night. but now there has been an expression of immediate-antiness [from some], I have thought, and may only think, "this is making me lose a lot of money that I really would like not to." and not just "like," either, really. this, as I say, even though I had just accepted the 'loss' previously.

OK?

RJG (RJG), Sunday, 22 June 2003 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I say sit your current flatmates down & tell them that it really gets you out of a financial hole & you would appreciate their cooperation in this matter as it's only gonna be for 5 weeks. (sell it as 'under' 5 weeks!) The time will pass before they have even noticed & you & your friend manage to help each other out loads.

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Sunday, 22 June 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree - also try to promise that your friend will be as problem-free and pleasant as possible, and ask him to cooperate with that thought, and promise you'll bring the flatmates presents back from your trip. It is only for a month, but flatmates generally get to choose a new flatmate, so there are arguments both ways.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 22 June 2003 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe they are worried that new temporary flatmate will not move back out at the end of the agreed time, and he might end up as a semi-permanent fixture kipping on the sofa or something. Can you get him to sign some sort of agreement which outlines the dates he will be staying?

C J (C J), Sunday, 22 June 2003 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Sounds to me like your flatmates are hoping to rummage through your wardrobe and do a bit of 'dressing up' while you're away, RJG. I would invest in some serious padlocks and CCTV equipment.

PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Sunday, 22 June 2003 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe draw up some sort of contract to safeguard all concerned. That might elleviate some worries.

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Sunday, 22 June 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Couldn't Momus have stayed with someone else??

Lara (Lara), Sunday, 22 June 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

there is zero risk of the friend not leaving [I would make him not stay].

I am sure that he would be v. [almost] respectful that he was in other people's place for a while. and I would definitely make him aware that he [almost] should be.

otherwise.

I kinda think that flatmate #2 would have no qualms about letting a friend of his stay in my place a night or few and [even] in my own bed. this annoys me. and I do kinda think it.

if no my-friend, the only action I can take, as PJM advises, is to secure my space and belongings and make it obviously off-limits [I am paying for it], etc.

[I must have a reaction to something]. [I am drunk just now].

RJG (RJG), Monday, 23 June 2003 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I do think that if you just outline your point of view they'll prob agree if only because people fear confrontation and if they agree to it even if they're not happy about it what the fuck do you care?

Matt (Matt), Monday, 23 June 2003 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

well, they are my friends,

but yeah.

RJG (RJG), Monday, 23 June 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)


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