Maybe I'm in the wrong place, but ... Teach me to be cool?

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So, I was talking about this with someone at work today who's in a band here in New Orleans and is all knowledgeable about music and stuff. Since high school I've avoided the chic of being a part of ANY "music scene." I would hang out with my hip high school friends and they'd talk about finding God while listening to such-and-such a band and, over and over again, I would listen to these bands and, well, usually I just thought they sucked copious quantities of cock. So I stopped buying CD's and just listened to the radio or raided my dad's old Elvis tapes or, more often, just sat in silence and listened to the ever-present circus calliope music playing 24 hours and commercial-free in my skull. But now I'm in New Orleans and I'm 23 and being ignorant about music just isn't working for me anymore. So if any of you could tell me where to start in terms of being cool re: music, that would be really nifty.

― jewelly (jewelly), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Did Paul Rutheford invent the glitch?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

you should just listen. owning records isn't listening.

― cage bot (jdesouza), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

What songs did you like on the radio?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Could you burn me a copy of some of that circus calliope music?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Since you live in New Orleans, you should have some Ernie K-Doe, and probably some Meters!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Forget buying records, just buy t-shirts with record covers on them. Then you don't even have to tell people anything. Like today I'm wearing my Tattoo You t-shirt. Everybody knows I'm the coolest MF in this place.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

just do what i do - hook uo sslk and kazaar lite and download what people are talking about on ilm - listen to it and then decide if someone is talking shit or not - tonight i will mostly be downloading

SHISTY - "I Luv U"

and seeing what the fuss is about (although in all honesty i'll get home and have a kip, watch eastenders and go to bed after a bath)

― james (james), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

James: Excellent plan. I've avoided reading stuff on ILE because reading posts that assume I know what the fuck is going on when I don't is just depressing. But I think you're on to something.

As for what I like on the radio: not much. There's like maybe one or two songs out there on the "alternative" stations at any given time that I like. And I get so sick of wading through the other shyte that usually I just turn the fucker off and crank up my self-generated calliope jam.

― jewelly (jewelly), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

crank up my self-generated calliope jam

Cool! Julio was right, you should check out some free improvisation!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahahaha! Whatever you do, don't listen to ANYTHING anyone here recommends you. Only way to be cool = ignore what other people think.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 30 June 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

edie brickelle and the new bohemians
crash test dummies
4 non blondes
gin blossoms
dada

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 30 June 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

dude whatever I like edie brickell!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 30 June 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Step 1: Forget the radio. Sorry, but you live in New Orleans, not America. The radio is for cubicle kids who want to pass the time with Magic 101.9 or something "edgy" that plays Limp "Bizkit." The only good stations play jazz, except on those rare nights when someone wanders into Tulane's station with a stack of Pixies discs and a nose for mischief (note: I don't think that night ever happened). New Orleans doesn't have good radio. It's just not that town.

Step 2: Forget Magazine Street. Everything on it. Okay, there might be a good used record store somewhere there. But Magazine Street, and pretty much everything anywhere near Tulane and Loyola, is block-to-block nothing but stores for a) tourists, and b) Tulane and Loyola students hoping that Daddy put enough money in the bank this week for them to buy some cool, and c) b is a subset of a. Places on Magazine Street essentially cater to selling you the things you think other people who shop there will be impressed by -- the David Foster Wallace and Jonathan Safran Foer of music, music meant to be displayed or endured, not listened to.

Step 3: Between cost, breadth of selection, and ability to special-order, your best bet is ... Best Buy. On Vets, way the hell past the malls and so on. Surprised me too, and there are other places where you'd have better luck with specific things, but Best Buy is consistent.

Step 4: Skim ILM from time to time.

Step 5: Find a friend who knows a lot about music, doesn't have many specific hobby-horses or pet peeves, and likes the stuff you already know you like -- or can at least say, "Oh, but if you like X, you'd like Y so much more." This is the hardest part, but having a musically-compatible, sharp DJ in another town for a friend got me through a lot of my time in Nola, especially pre-ILX.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 30 June 2003 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Cool is so tricky. I used to think that listening to certain music would make me cool, but I doubt it nowadays. There's just too much music in the world to say, "cool, not cool." Everybody's an expert, no one is impressed with what you listen to, and the best you can ever hope for is respect for your knowledge of music. But this will not make you cool. It will, in fact, make you a geek.

So you have to offset your geekness with shoes. I cannot overstrees the importance of shoes. Especially if you're a guy. Guys who care about their shoes are cool, period.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 30 June 2003 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Greatest New Orleans records: 'Ain't Got No Home' by Clarence 'Frogman' Henry and 'Walking Up A One-Way Street' by Willie Tee, both among the greatest records ever made.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 30 June 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

music scenes are only "cool" to people who don't like music all that much

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 30 June 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

nobody can help you BE cool, only to SEEM cool.
My advice on SEEMING cool:
go out only half as much as you otherwise would. say only half as much as you otherwise would. keep parts of yourself back, and then people will think you're busy doing cooler things.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 30 June 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

smoke like a chimney. listen to lots of david bowie, kraftwerk, gary numan, adam and the ants, my bloody valentine, and bling-bling rap.

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 30 June 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Be cool by being uncool.

When everyone else is buying the new garage-rock/new new wave/new no wave/whatever the fad is this week, buy an obscure shoegazer album (as an example - should shoegazing become the new fad, pick another genre). Be ahead of the curve.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 30 June 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

New Orleans doesn't have good radio

hello! WWOZ! (and i've never even been there)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 30 June 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

nugazer IS the nuthing

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 30 June 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

like what you like, whether other people like it or not.

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 30 June 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Me giving advice on how to be cool would be like Jennifer Love Hewitt giving advice on how to sing.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 30 June 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Listen to music that you enjoy. You might have to listen to a lot of stuff to find that (which prob helps, I guess, to develop discerning tastes in anything - meaning to know what you like) but when you do, well, you're set. Seriously. I think of the kid in the thrift store telling me about how much he loves Metallica, without a trace of irony, and that's cool. Or my friend who sincerely and completely adores Lustmord, Kraftwerk, and Frank Zappa. That's cool. If I hadn't spent a chunk of my formative years worrying over how to be cool and not cool, I'd have caught on to the genius of Depeche Mode so much earlier.. ..

I mean, I know some wonderful people who are intensely concerned with being trendy, and I totally do the trend-watching thing myself. This would only make me feel less pathetic if I were paid for it. :)

― daria g (daria g), Monday, 30 June 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I may have to just eventually accept the fact that I can get as into a TV commercial jingle as a classic jazz album. My mother is the only person I've ever known who is completely and totally indifferent to all music. I'm not quite that extreme, but I'm close. It's like missing a chromosome or something.

― jewelly (jewelly), Monday, 30 June 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

the first thing you have to do is buy the new Black Eyes and Bangs EPs from amazon.com and then start getting interested in techno from the 88-98 decade. Grab some token hip hop records (ATCQ anthology + the Gang Starr decade collection are great starts, also Death Row's GH collection) and the amazon recommendations system should take care of the rest. Be prepared to invest a lot of money.

I can't figure out if I'm kidding or not

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 30 June 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I may have to just eventually accept the fact that I can get as into a TV commercial jingle as a classic jazz album

especially with regard to some more recent automotive advertisements or f'rinstance certain TV theme songs, that stuff is just as priceless as lots of classic jazz

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 30 June 2003 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I was thinking of the Jumbone commercial jingle, which I transcribed in its entirety on a different thread somewhere.

― jewelly (jewelly), Monday, 30 June 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Quiet your mind; calm your fears and hold your desires at arm's length. As you do, you will begin to know things, not merely have opinions. This leads to self-knowledge and to self-possession. Self-possesion is the birth of the cool.

― Aimless, Monday, 30 June 2003 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

That, and cool shoes.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

No, *this* is the birth of the cool
http://www.52ndstreet.com/justjazz/images/birth_cool.jpg

― oops (Oops), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

basically you should just hang out with me

― unknown or illegal user (doorag), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

They cool like dat.

http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGPORTRAITS/music/portrait200/drp000/p037/p03750qu02c.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I may have to just eventually accept the fact that I can get as into a TV commercial jingle as a classic jazz album

Yeah, I think this makes you pretty cool, Jewelly.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

nugazer IS the nuthing
For some reason I couldn't think of another genre.

Shit, aren't we a year or two out from the standard ska cycle? Now's the time to pick up all those MoonSka albums for $1.99!

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.dustedmagazine.com/features/cex/ben.jpg

― Girolamo Savonarola, Monday, 30 June 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that a bag of weed on the dashboard? Or it is something much much stronger.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I was too high at the time to remember.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Monday, 30 June 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

If I had a picture of myself that in any way resembled that, Girolamo, I would float through the rest of my life in blissful self-contentment. *seethes with envy*

― jewelly (jewelly), Monday, 30 June 2003 23:58 (twenty-two years ago)

the last time i was in New Orleans, WTUL was playing Dock Boggs and the Carter Family mixed in with a bunch of stuff of a Texas '60s garage comp. It might not be perfect, but whatever perceived indie failings that station might have cannot be unforgivable.

And WWOZ is seconded as being godlike.

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

hello! WWOZ! (and i've never even been there)

Yeah, but that's jazz (& blues & zydeco). I said jazz was the exception :)

WTUL varies so much semester to semester I was never sure what to think of it, but I guess that's just par for the college station course.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 02:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Step this way, and I will give you the keys to the cool promised land. Here are four pair of shoes that you really should own.

Shoe #1: The Black Chuck
http://www.giganticmag.com/images/shoes/shoes_001.jpgWhether you're walking, standing, or "rockin' out," this classic canvas basketball sneaker never goes out of style. Black is the proper color for a Chuck -- it's safe from a fashion point of view, and it wears better. The more adventurous might opt for the navy blue or dark green varieties, but red, yellow, and orange give the wrong message (i.e., "I Love Punky Brewster"). Nothing "funks up" a pair of slacks or khakis like these fun-lovin', youthful shoes. Wear then clean to show off their timeless good looks, or disgustingly filthy for a touch more "authenticity."

Shoe #2: The Leather Sandal
http://www.giganticmag.com/images/shoes/shoes_002.jpgSummer just wouldn't be summer without the leather sandal. Choose something with a solid upper and a backstrap, to avoid the embarassing "I'm just going to the dumpster" look. A velcro buckle and a thick sole not only improve their wear, but make them convenient for whipping off and beating someone with when they call you a hippie.

Shoe #3: The Beige and Black Soccer Shoe
http://www.giganticmag.com/images/shoes/shoes_003.jpgNothing says "I have never been even remotely athletic" like this trendy shoe, which combines the sleek cut and sporty stripes of a soccer shoe with a color scheme that is snnnAZZY! Black Dockers and black socks dress them up, while blue jeans let their inner free spirit shine through. A loose black turtleneck brings out the best in them. And you!

Shoe #4: The Red Shoes
http://www.giganticmag.com/images/shoes/shoes_004.jpgI chose a plaid suede type, but any red shoe sends the same important message: you have a wild side! You're so crazy, you can't be bothered to match! No, red shoes don't "go" with much of anything in a man's wardrobe, save for his dancin' sexy feet, but don't be afraid. Women melt for a man who's goofy. Keep telling yourself that.

I'll spare you my loafers.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 03:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"black chuck" makes me think of drinking too much beam & coke

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 03:27 (twenty-two years ago)

someone didn't read the last sentence of the opening post, did they?

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 03:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Forget music! Music will never make you cool! The shoes are the key!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 03:29 (twenty-two years ago)

the ironing is delicious

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 03:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't get me started on the importance of being wrinkle-free.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 03:37 (twenty-two years ago)

see, you could've slyly turned it into a shoe-gazing thing...

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 03:43 (twenty-two years ago)

You just did. Without the "sly."

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

story of my life, my friend

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 03:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Chucks were better before they raised the prices. $15.99 at Academy Sports vs. $35 at Journey's/whatever other shoe stores there are.

I should have stocked up.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 04:07 (twenty-two years ago)

since knowledge about music is cool, and since knowledge cna you lead backwards ceaselessly through history, i suggest that you return to the real "old skool" by finding a few rocks and banging them together. if you can bang them in time, you are cool, and if you cant, your art is "post-rational" which is also cool. bang said rocks on a streetcorner, and you will become known; back said banging with a complex theoretics, and a nice pair of shoes, and you make the cover of Wire magazine. COOL!

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

new orleans doesnt have good radio??!! cash money/no limit !!!

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 04:21 (twenty-two years ago)

So you must be a hip hop fan, Trife.

― daria g (daria g), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 04:36 (twenty-two years ago)

cool is two words

MOOG POWER

http://www.showandtellmusic.com/images/galleries/gallery%20r/moogpower.jpg

― james (james), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 07:11 (twenty-two years ago)

No Limit sponsors some of the stuff on ... 93, I think? ... but that doesn't make for good radio. If you want New Orleans hip hop, you hit the kids selling cassettes and CDs out the back of their trucks.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

this might not be cool, but it's my favorite record shop in SE Louisiana.....

The Magic Bus
http://members.cox.net/mlimey1/

it's in the Quarter, on Conti, but there's nothing tourist, snotty, cool, or pretentious about it. Just a slew of great used CDs for about $9 each. the owners never comment or raise at eye at your selections, but will help if asked.

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

The guys at Magic Bus can be total dicks unless you make a point of asking for something old-but-cool to prove your hipness--Magma or something.

Tep OTM re: Magazine street and the universities. Also avoid Bywater/9th Ward/etc 'cause it's like one big Tom Waits sleazeball electro blowjob hoedown over there (in a bad way). I've found there's no point in being cool in this town 'cause everyone else is so backwards they'd never pick up on it. So do what I do: go to totally uncool places (ie Cooter Brown's, Club Behind the 8 Ball, Philip's, etc) and relax and drink without worrying about the hipsters.

Tulane radio can be good but has a way too much indie rock. WWOZ suffers from south-LA tunnel-vision--what? There's no Dr John on this record? He had nothing to do with it? Fuck that! 104.5 and 93.3 play the same 10 songs over and over but they are occasionally really good regional hits.

Coolest place in NOLA: Beckham Bookshop on Decatur across from the House of Blues. 3 very quiet stories of really good-smelling books.

― adam (adam), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

This is making me miss New Orleans all the more, dodgy radio and all.

Not sure how I forgot to mention the Quarter -- in the city proper, that's probably your best bet for most things. Virgin used to be -really- good in terms of the savviness of the sales staff ("I like X and Y -- what would you recommend?"), but that was only really when it first opened. It's not that it's horrible now, it's just suffered from Chicken Parmesan Syndrome.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

And I forgot to mention the Dixie Taverne! I think I may go there tonight to see some metal band that puts Shakespeare to music--Shakespeare In Hell. All the best non-rap music in NO is metal.

― adam (adam), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I go to Beckham Bookshop! Love. It. And I live right next to Bordeaux Books or however you spell it on Magazine and Jefferson -- could there be a snottier, stupider bookstore on the planet??? Give me Beckham any day of the year.

― jewelly (jewelly), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i must have been lucky with the Magic Bus guys, as i never experienced that side of them.

Is it worth mentioning that the Shim Sham closed down? It was chockful of yawning hipsters, but i quite liked the building itself, as well as the shows that it had.

the guy at Rock & Roll Collectibles can be quite crazy. He sold me a bunch of records for a quarter apiece, but he has refused to sell records to one of my friends, saying that he doesn't want to sell the record, or saying that the label is wrong, then doubling or tripling the price. If he took a stack of records to the register, the man would sort through them, taking out about a third of the records to put back in the stacks.

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

The Shim Sham was once a movie theatre called (I believe) the Toulouse. It's where my boss (who is like Mr New Orleans Super-Projectionist) trained. Also the projection booth became the upstairs bar--the porthole was still there and everything.

Damn, how do I close this projection-nerd tag?

― adam (adam), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

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