help me I am an ascetic

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I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't eat meat, I don't like any drugs (and have very limited experience with them anyway), and I completely failed to have any good wasted-youth-type experiences when I still had youth to waste. I have an overactive superego, and interrogate myself mercilessly about the ethical implications of my actions--I can't do anything I believe is wrong, no matter how badly I want to. It has been pointed out that I have effectively cut myself off from most of life's pleasures, and don't know how to have fun or give myself a break.

What do I do about this? I'm not especially interested in any of the conventional vices, but I'm getting really fucking tired of being a goody-two-shoes. Responses from lapsed straightedgers are particularly welcome.

― fun and fancy free, Thursday, 3 July 2003 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

you could indulge in schadenfreude and be a meany to small children

you could get into kinky non-violent porno

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:05 (twenty-two years ago)

you kind of sound like me except for the drinking part. I too have cursed my lack of wild-oats-sowing, but I got over that feeling when I realized that Cher was right and that we cannot turn back time.

so you have to realize that you have a couple of vices at least: useless regret and self-pity wallowing. I have them too, but I've learned to repress them. If I was you, I'd be like me: be proud of being a good nice person, and then use that goodness and niceness to get chix.

― Neudonym, Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

kinky porn with jump suits and two-note guitar solos.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Neudonym is OTM. I used to be straightedge; I grew out of it. I'm glad, though, that I never got wasted and made a fool out of myself when young. Still a vegetarian, but have learned to enjoy a beer after work.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

what is it about vices though? i have so many i've lost count, and i can guarantee they are enjoyable far less than 100% of the time

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:22 (twenty-two years ago)

What do you care? If you feel like you're missing out, then start joining in. If you really don't want to, then see my first question above. You're not missing anything, really.

― Scaredy cat (Natola), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

esoj's question is a good one. for me, it's not that I never wanted the vices, but more that I was afraid that I'd irrevocably fuck up my life if I ever indulged in any. and my luck was for shit too:

1. skipped school one time, got caught by policeman who was inexplicably down at the park checking out some dead geese (kid peeled out in gravel, intentionally, killing them all). me and friend jay got busted, sat in back of car while cop filled out report and then drove us back to school. small town.

2. drinking to excess (which I've done) is tied in my family history to violence, screaming, barfing, etc. so I wasn't all gonna go out of my way to do that.

3. all the druggie kids in town hated me because I once failed to get out of the way of one of them who tried to bump into me in 8th grade. he got all of his friends to taunt me to try to lure me into fights so they could all jump on me, and all my posse were weirdo nerds. even though I was on the football team, my anger impulses were all internally-focused, and I never felt aggro enough to try to take them all on. therefore, no parties down at the river for me. I stayed home and watched TV and listened to music.

so it's not for lack of desire, esoj. and just because I never had any vices doesn't mean I'm not screwed up.

― Neudonym, Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

You just have to readjust your feelings on ethics and morality. I'm down to one variation on the Golden Rule - "don't physically hurt anyone else." Broad, but workable.

What "ethical implications" are there to consider about consensual sex? Or getting drunk? So long as everyone involved agreed and no one's getting hurt (unless they're into it), go for it.

That said, I gave up drinking, drugs, smoking... pretty much all my vices except for gambling. They're just not that much fun, honestly. I wasted incredible amounts of time, money and personal capital on my vices. I guess I gained some "important life experience" in the process - but I don't remember much.

Whether I could have had the same amount of fun sober, I don't know. I'd like to think so. But I know I would have accomplished more.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I wasted incredible amounts of time, money and personal capital on my vices

oh i hear that.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:41 (twenty-two years ago)

(still do waste those things in fact)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess I gained some "important life experience" in the process - but I don't remember much.

Whether I could have had the same amount of fun sober, I don't know. I'd like to think so. But I know I would have accomplished more

Perfect! My sentiments exactly. THAT is regret (for me).

― Scaredy cat (Natola), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

For about six months I didn't even pick up a book, between work and extracurricular activities. And I'm still having to work to get back to the way I used to read (non-stop). Even worse, I quit trying to write (which was basically my one talent coming into college).

I think that's my biggest regret. I quit writing and reading, and I fear that I've lost my ability to do either well.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Six months with no books, and probably another year and a half or two barely reading at all, that should say.

But I watched Tank Girl (high as a kite) at least 10 times. Tell me there wasn't something else I could have been doing.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I was a straightedge till 21, when my curiosity got the better of me, and it's only in the past three years or so that I've actually done any kind of vice-ish things with any real regularity. there's nothing at all wrong with being the way you are, don't worry about it so much. OR, just do something for the sake of doing it. you're an adult, and no one will look at you funny for it unless you make a big deal out of it. (trust me on this one.)

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 3 July 2003 03:05 (twenty-two years ago)

you're an adult, and no one will look at you funny for it unless you make a big deal out of it.

He's absolutely right

― Scaredy cat (Natola), Thursday, 3 July 2003 03:21 (twenty-two years ago)

You're getting into the either/or binaristic jive, which is to say that since you're not content with who you are at the moment, it would seem to follow that you have to swing across the spectrum to be satisfied. IMO though that's not the case (not so much saying that vices are unsatisfying, never indulged myself -- I mean, I try not to buy too much into binary systems). Grass always seems greener on the other etc. and all.

I suggest a marathon of masturbation to work out the frustrations.

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 3 July 2003 05:48 (twenty-two years ago)

...and I suggest that during this marathon you use the German lubricant Bodyglide. It comes in a black tube at most porn stores.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Thursday, 3 July 2003 10:41 (twenty-two years ago)

What do I do about this? I'm not especially interested in any of the conventional vices, but I'm getting really fucking tired of being a goody-two-shoes.

You could become vegan, then occasionally fall for cheese. That's what I've done.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 3 July 2003 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm naming my second album _Fall For Cheese_.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 July 2003 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't regret my "vices" and I suspect you shouldn't regret your lack thereof (in the traditional sense). Why would want to increase the cost of your standard of living to such a massive degree? I seriously blow probably half my annual income on beer, tobacco, meat, cover charges and transportation. If I were like you I'd probably be much more well-read and have my own home studio by now instead of just half of one.

Set some other goals and find some new friends or something.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 3 July 2003 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

are you, by any chance, a capricorn? they tend to start out old and get younger.

― praying mantis (praying mantis), Thursday, 3 July 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

eat lard

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Thursday, 3 July 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

This sounds like me, but I eat meat. And I don't think I have much of a super-ego, but I do pretend to sometimes.

Go to a Poison concert or something like that.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 3 July 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

since when did having fun and making ethical choices come into conflict? There's rarely any overlap between things i wanted to do and things i think are wrong. Either you're assigning negative ethical values to too much stuff, or you want to do things you know are wrong. I hope you're the former, because at least then it's doubtful that you're a danger to anybody. Better to be frustrated than sociopathic, dad always said.

― Stuart (Stuart), Thursday, 3 July 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

since when did having fun and making ethical choices come into conflict? There's rarely any overlap between things i want to do and things i think are wrong. Either you're assigning negative ethical values to too much stuff, or you want to do things you know are wrong. I hope you're the former, because at least then it's doubtful that you're a danger to anybody. Better to be frustrated than sociopathic, dad always said.

― Stuart (Stuart), Thursday, 3 July 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

There's no use doing something that doesn't appeal to you just so you can say you've done it.

If people act like you're a goody two-shoes, lie! Tell 'em you used to be a raging alcoholic, so now you can't touch the stuff. Casually mention "the first time I was in prison." Refer to how "everything between my second and third rehabs is just a blur to me." Say you'd talk about your past, but you're under a court order not to.

People will think you're FASCINATING.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Thursday, 3 July 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

my buddy Jeff used to tell everyone he couldn't drink because he had a potentially fatal liver condition. we believed him. that was hilarious in retrospect but we all respected his right not to be a drunken asshole.

best drummer in the world by the way, except he only plays for boring christian metal bands. and he does drink now, but only a little bit, as a single father of two and full-time jobholder and all.

― Neudonym, Thursday, 3 July 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

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