"she is the soggy biscuit"

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This is the subject line of a piece of spam sent to me today. I boggle at it duly.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

geezers kiosk

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Worst. Garden. Party. EVER.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

(haha does the last one to cum have to eat the soggy biscuit?)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Mail content? Enlighten us!

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I was too disturbed to actually read the content.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, they were probably trying to sell you industrial sized boxes of spark plugs.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Or Farley's kiddie porn.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"Soggy biscuit" is something I've heard about since junior high (Woohoo! Let's hear it for religious education!). In brief:

1) An edible object is in the middle
2) a circle of boys "season" the object
3) the last boy to "season" the object must eat the seasoning off the object

You didn't want to know.

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Raise your hand, anyone who hasn't known that since they were five?

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yes we do.

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Any verified accounts of this ritual actually happening -- say, in the Boy Scouts, on a camping trip, at a fraternity...?

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I kind of envy anybody who doesn't immediately know what the title of this thread is supposed to mean. Gawd.

(I have never heard of anybody actually doing anything approaching this (who the hell would admit to it (what would you have to be ON to agree to join in?)))

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! I expect DB to provide those answers. ;-)

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I admit, I didn't immediately know.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

My family do it just before Christmas dinner every year. The girls take part with turkey basters with restricted nozzles.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 14 July 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

nice.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

color me clueless.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I expect all the girls are delighted that boys are practising so that they can come as quickly as possible.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Somehow, my first thought on seeing that thread heading was that it was attached to a rude limerick (or porno site for/about Grandmothers).

But then, it could just be the spammers new way of sharing love and viruses.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

who needs to practice at THAT, Martin?

― oops (Oops), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"She is the soggy biscuit" - please tell me - is it a compliment? Or is it a put down?

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I kind of envy anybody who doesn't immediately know what the title of this thread is supposed to mean. Gawd.

Hell, I didn't know -- and I was in the Boy Scouts and all.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

something bukakke related i'll wager

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't know if i could actually hit the biscuit. how close could i get?

― gaz (gaz), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Funnily enough I know all too well what the soggy biscuit game is meant to involve, but have never been sure what bukakke is. I mean I think I have an idea, but I just wondered why it has that Japanesey name.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

its like butoh isn't it?

― gaz (gaz), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

the Japanese team won the championship last year, so they get the name. The Swedish team look strong for this year though.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought everybody knew what bukkake was by now

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

By now? You see that's what confuses me. You make it sound like something that was invented in 1998.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

(PSST ILX THIS IS YOUR CUE TO COME UP WITH THE SWEDISH WORD FOR BUKKAKE)

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought everybody knew what bukkake was by now

O Sultan, do explain what it actually is, then?;> I can't remember what that is.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I will not be fooled into explaining bukkake on a public bulletin board. You google it.

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I will not be fooled into googling bukkake.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

OK - the ideal place to learn about bukkake.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

imagine the soggy biscuit is in fact a girl and you have your answer (except obv you don't eat the girl)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Bukkake is a Japanese term that refers to showering a receiver with sperm from one, several or many men. It is always a sperm shower and, therefore, those on the giving end are always male.

Legend has it that in ancient Japan, women who were found to be unfaithful were publicly humiliated in the town center by being tied up while every man in town ejaculated all over her to show his distaste. Basically, they were saying that if you're going to take it from someone else, you're going to get it from everyone else.
- http://www.4-bukkake.com/

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

That bad, I see;> (and it was a purely innocent question!)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

except obv you don't eat the girl

Define 'eat.'

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually that page I linked to is absolutely classic now I look at it properly (and safe for work btw. Well, as safe as any page mentioning bukakke can be).

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Define 'eat.'

How about "without whipped cream and/or cherries"? (Couldn't resist, I'm afraid;>)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 14 July 2003 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Now I'm hongry.

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 14 July 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

geir hongry?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 14 July 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still confused as to why nichole graham is a 'britbabe'.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 14 July 2003 22:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I have one actual account of "soggy biscuit" happening... in this case, it was "soggy pizza". Oh, the parts of me that do not miss the whole culture of Newport Beach and Balboa Peninsula 4th of July celebrations...

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 14 July 2003 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

YOU ARE ALL FREAKS.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

explain it, then.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 03:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally very very OTM.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 04:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, wasn't that the original title of the new Dandy Warhols album? I never knew you were a fan.

― kate (kate), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 07:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Pretty much everything else that was rumoured to happen at an English boarding school did happen at one but never the soggy biscuit game.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 09:21 (twenty-two years ago)

at one = "at one time" or "at once"?

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 09:27 (twenty-two years ago)

There was a bloke at my high school wot got called soggy biscuit, legend being he ate said item.

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 09:28 (twenty-two years ago)

'at one' = "to me"?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 09:31 (twenty-two years ago)

At one o'clock - punctuality is next to Godliness.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Just when I was starting to think I was a total creepy old man extreme pervy perv, I open this thread expecting something to do with actual the-kind-you-make-in-the-oven biscuits and discover that at the center of my perv candy shell lies a tootsie roll center of wholesomeness. Right on.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, you did too know I was a DW fan, don't play coy with me.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 12:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Poor Nick and his soggy wholesomeness.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

And HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ALLY HAS OUTED HERSELF AS A WHOVIAN!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, only geeks would think that's what I meant! GEEK!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ALLY KNOWS WHAT A WHOVIAN IS! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

u r so gay.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Into the Tardis.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Does k9 join in?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Excerpt from "The Bukkake of the Daleks":

"The Mistress has been covered in mutated spermatazoic issue suspended in a seminal fluid, Master."

"What's that, K-9?"

"The Mistress is covered in Dalek jizz, Master."

"Covered in Dalek jizz? Good heavens!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I NEED NOT THIS VISION

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

"IT-IS-THE-DOCTOR-AND-HIS-COMPANION! INSEMINATE-THEM! INSEMINATE! INSEMINATE! INSEMINATE!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"bukkake of the daleks" would make an excellent Bloodhound Gang single

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Was already murdered by Eminem, Millar

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

spam header received to-day:

"PUSSY BUFFET, ALL YOU CAN EAT"

ahem

message received later on to-day:

"NOW WITHIN YOUR REACH, STRAIGHT FROM THE FACTORY TO YOU, ANYWHERE ON
EARTH. FACTORY PRICES WITH COMFORT, BEAUTY AND SENSUALITY IN FINE,
INCOMPARABLE LINGERIE. ENJOY THE ADVANTAGES OF GLOBALIZATION, FOR IT IS THE
PATH TO A BETTER WORLD."

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

Best thread about an ejaculatory ritual ever

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

This is probably the greatest thread revive ever.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 01:29 (twenty-two years ago)

This is probably the best hyperbolic post calling something the "best ever" ever.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

The dalek porn suggestion is making baby jebus cry.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh my god, I started this thread, didn't I.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 03:12 (twenty-two years ago)

it's a permanent fixture in your top ten

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I have doubts.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 03:17 (twenty-two years ago)

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