Today has been strange ... I received a package in the mail yesterday from someone I barely know (in actuality this person knows significantly less about me) and it is fucking with my head big time. No, I didn't receive drugs in the mail ... it's a CD.
So now I'm at work, listening to it, and it's scaring the living piss out of me. I'm on the cusp of making some pretty big life decisions, and this is acting as a weird catalyst.
I started getting a little weirded out so I went out on the road and all these smells hit me ... smells I don't normally associate with where I live. It's hard to explain this one very well ...
And then I come back from lunch and there is an e-mail in my inbox from a far away friend who I haven't heard much from for the better part of a year (I thought we'd drifted, and was actually JUST thinking about it).
So yeah ... I need some time to sort through this data, but I'm AT WORK!!!!! To be honest, I couldn't have it better as far as work environment ... I sit with my headphones on and ignore everybody and write emails, but I want to get out of here really bad.
So what do you do when you're aware that you're having a very inspiring, pivotal day, but you're in the least inspiring, least pivotal environment?
― fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)
get one of yr many ILX-Buddies to phone in a some sort of hoax that will require the immediate evacuation of yr building.
― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)
I think you should wallow in it. Because most people don't have significant days at work at all. You are leading a double life, while most people only live a single or a half one. I think you should play some creepy film music over your headphones, like, say, "Blade Runner", and pretend your life is a movie. At dinner break go and buy a packet of Camels, soft pack if possible, and chain smoke three or four of them in the local cemetary, feeling existential.
― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)
Thank you for alerting to my potential "emo"-ness today.
I gritted my teeth and rode out the rest of the day, including a long spell hiding in the bathroom, and a spell in the parkade rooting around under the driver's seat for my cigarettes.
Then I went and drank with someone I've got some bad blood with. It was really nice, I guess we don't hate each other after all. We shook hands after a couple of pints. Really good guy, actually. Bottom line is he's one of the most grounded (borderline myopic) people I know. I really needed to spend some time with someone with a narrow world-view. I was getting a little manic this morning, I think.
So that's the solution. Drink with someone who does not cater to your success fantasies.
― fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)