...That was me.

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If you were in suburban Maryland this afternoon and you spotted a 6' dude in boots and camouflage hauling a 30 pack of PBR out of his black-on-black 2001 Beetle with 17" rims... that was me.

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

next time turn your alarm off jerk

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were in downtown Olympia this morning over by the Lake Fair grounds, smoking a cigarette and waiting for the bus...that was me.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were on Boylston St this afternoon in front of Burger King and you saw a short black guy wearing shorts, a Tanglewood t-shirt and a white fisherman's hat... STOP FOLLOWING ME

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were at Camp Shalom in Verona, Wisconsin, this afternoon and you saw a 6' guy wearing a pink shirt and gray pants and sandals holding a crying 5-yr-old who didn't want to stay at camp anymore, only wanted to go home because everything fun is at home and because he can't stand seeing me or his mother in the middle of the day and then us going away for any reason, and if the guy you saw was wondering 'how the fuck is this kid gonna deal with kindergarten in like 45 days?'...that was me.

― Neudonym, Friday, 18 July 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were walking around the financial district of Lower Manhattan this morning, and some seemingly careless a-hole on a sticker-slathered, beat up black mountain bike and a juvenile Misfits baseball cap almost threatened to collide into you in a hapless attempt to dodge getting hit by an out-for-blood bus, that a-hole was me.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were in my bed this morning and got up and took a shower and checked e-mail and went to my job...you ARE me.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were on Boylston St this afternoon in front of Burger King and you saw a short black guy wearing shorts, a Tanglewood t-shirt and a white fisherman's hat... STOP FOLLOWING ME

never!

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

If you went into a frip in Mile-End today & saw a dude smoking a cigarette and playing with a dog... that was me.

― s1utsky (slutsky), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw a slightly tubby guy in a Magnetic Fields t-shirt looking grumpy whilst buying a big bottle of gin in Angel Sainsbury's...

― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were in the mall wondering who really buys those enormous cookie cakes and then seeing one bought by a surprisingly skinny girl...that was me.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

if you were sitting in a green office chair wanting an enormous cookie cake, then you are me

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Millar, rims and a case of PBR? yr a stud.

If you were at the gay cowboy bar The Round-Up last night and saw the chick in the glasses butchering Patsy Cline during Karaoke. . .that was me.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

If you repeatedly busted a temp surfing the web and wasting time on bulletin boards rather than filling out your transition reports, uh...

― Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Friday, 18 July 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

If you are sitting in a Falls Church, VA office, wondering if it was worth chewing your way out of the straitjacket this morning...GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 18 July 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

You know that Shaggy guy? That was not him.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 18 July 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

but i caught him in the shower

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

even caught him on CAMERA

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw a girl on the tube with vv greasy hair which needed to be washed and an Emily Strange tshirt with her eyes shut all the way between Pimlico and Seven Sisters from 5.30 I am glad you didn't interrupt me as I was seeing how long I could keep my eyes shut for.

― Sarah (starry), Friday, 18 July 2003 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw 3 preteens on bikes and scooters yelling at cars passing by, the leader of the group (with big bling-bling earring) locked eyes with someone approaching on the sidewalk for approximately 5 seconds in a mighty and challenging staredown. Anyway, that person being stared at was me. I am surprised the kid didn't call me a fag. Maybe I'm expecting too much from kids these days.

― Scaredy Cat, Friday, 18 July 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

If in a few minutes you see someone in a small coffeeshop enjoying the wireless network and an iced Americano while working on an iBook... that will (hopefully) be me.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

In an hour if you're eating in a North Dallas upscale pan-asian noodle joint and you spot the short chick yelling at people in the kitchen and spilling boiling hot Saigon Soup on herself and cursing loudly. That's . ..well you know.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Fifteen minutes from you might see someone who is obviously hypoglycemic and VERY confused about Dizzee Rascal standing on the corner of 103st and Jasper Ave.

that's me.

― fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw someone in yet-another-multi-ethnic-grocery (how many does Bloomington have? Best thing about the place besides the library), going "Woooo, Coca-Cola products from India!" and "LOOK AT ALL THE SALAMI" and "What is this? How much is it?", I deny everything.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

If you turned on your television on July 20, 1969, and saw the random dude in the spacesuit stepping onto the surface of the moon... that was Neil Armstrong. Me, I was sleeping in my crib at the time, so I missed the whole thing. Let me know how it was.

― Sean Thomas (sgthomas), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Spencer and jess won this thread, sorry.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

not really because it very well could have been shaggy, but rik rok was insisting it wasn't him.

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait, that's a good point.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

who sang the chorus, dear?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

shaggy is GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

He was just giving advice. Really horrible advice, true.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

last time i checked, aiding and abetting was still a crime

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were in Uptown New Orleans this morning and were given really horrible service by a weary-looking and irritable barista, that was either me or one of dozens of other baristas here in the immediate vacinity. Turns out, we all hate you. :=D

― jewelly (jewelly), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

But he didnt actually aid Rik Rok per se. He just told him, "If I was you, I'd say it wasn't me". He didn't actively help hide evidence or knock off the pissy girlfriend. I say Shaggy is innocent.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Not guilty by reason of boombacity

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

that's going to be my defense for sure

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

if i gave you my nametag at work, that was me (but who are YOU). also can you please give it back now?

― minna (minna), Friday, 18 July 2003 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

If you wondered who was the guy pacing around in his living room in central Iowa waiting on hold for 40+ minutes to talk to airlines because I'm supposed to leave for Australia on Sunday only the airline that's supposed to get me to L.A. doesn't seem to have my booking information, and you heard the sporadic "fuck! fuck!"s punctuating the still cool air as I considered what a disaster an entire cancelled tour would be...that was me.

P.S. Everything is almost sorted out now so there will be no cancellations, see you all in Perth

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 July 2003 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Not guilty by reason of boombacity

Surely it's "boombasticity"?

― amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 18 July 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I think Shaggy's repeated message/advice implies his own tendency towards denial in identification situations.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 18 July 2003 23:47 (twenty-two years ago)

http://members.iomartdsl.com/~keith.gentry/b3ta/friend.jpg

― Dada, Friday, 18 July 2003 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, boombasticity just didn't sound as good, for some reason. Cause I hear it rebounding in my head like Schoolhouse Rock's "electricity."

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 July 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

if you wondered who that guy in the dress shirt and baseball cap was that was dancing around your wedding party for hours and hours and hours without getting tired, living on coca alone and sliding all the kids around the room from one corner to another...that was me

― encore un coca s'il vous plait, Saturday, 19 July 2003 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

If the guy in the black retro 1980 Mazda RX-7 sparkly iron-on transfer shirt stepping off the 63 bus on Grand Avenue in St. Paul, watching as his Discman flew out of his bag and landed violently on the sidewalk, and reacting thus -- "SHIT!" -- seemed familiar to you...

(PS: the Discman still works)

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Saturday, 19 July 2003 00:51 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were on the # 21 bus in Regina this morning and some dude let out a big stinky hangover fart...that wasn't me. But I was the guy behind him.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Saturday, 19 July 2003 02:00 (twenty-two years ago)

But he didnt actually aid Rik Rok per se. He just told him, "If I was you, I'd say it wasn't me". He didn't actively help hide evidence or knock off the pissy girlfriend.

He did so actively help RR! Didn't you see the video!?

― Dan I., Saturday, 19 July 2003 02:52 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw a skinny asian dude tearing it up really poorly near the back of the floor at the capleton concert at the avalon on wed, that was me.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 19 July 2003 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

also making a point of not moving at all during the burn dem chi-chi man numbers, and enthusiastically yelling more fiyah! at various other points.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 19 July 2003 04:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Man, if I was the hot chick with killer cleavage flirting with the Sarah Silverman lookalike at Lakewood Lounge tonight while drinking whiskey sours. .

That was totally me.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 19 July 2003 06:35 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were in the Morpeth Arms last night and you were wearing a trucker hat and/or a 70s 'barbarian women' art T-Shirt and your buzz was being harshed by a fat bearded bloke complaining that the pub had suddenly become a "cunt's pub" after you spilled beer all over his shoes...no apologies whatsoever you cockfarmer.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Saturday, 19 July 2003 09:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 28 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

If you happen to see some scruffy looking bloke reading wine bottle labels in Ormskirk Safeways this morning, that'll be me.

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:48 (twenty-two years ago)

you still have to tell me the whole story cybele!

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

if you were driving around with yr punkass highschool bullshit friends in a condo complex parking lot and yelling garbled epithets at five skinny white dudes on their fourth floor patio who were just trying to enjoy some tunes and some cheap yellow beer and some tobacco at 1130pm Saturday night, you should come back some time because we all still want to fight you.

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

if you saw a man with a beard and his three friends ride the giant ferris wheel, sick on too much food, and talking about their lives at 12:17 am that would be me.

― anthony easton (anthony), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were on the third floor of the old Methodist Women's and Children's Hospital off of Datapoint and Fredericksburg, right where the family room of the hospice center is, on Friday night and saw some woman wearing a blouse with a white background and a flower pattern in brown, yellow, and green, a pair of green cotton pants, and a pair of white trainers, sitting down on a couch clutching a pillow and watching Anthony Bourdain remember his father while going through Arcachon, France, on "A Cook's Tour", hey, stop staring at me!

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

if you saw a brunette chick with glasses riding in a red toyota, trying (not so successfully) not to smile at her companion's really really strong brooklyn accent, that was me.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Sunday, 20 July 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

On Oct 30, 2002, if you saw a girl at 11:30pm with no purse, no money, and no cell phone walking the streets of Garden Grove crying and looking for a battered women's shelter, that was me.
-Chelsea Starr

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

if you saw a girl w/silver trainers and a Skinny Puppy shirt discovering that the '24 hours' Kinko's was closed at 9pm & she couldn't photocopy a piece of collage art, that was me.

― daria g (daria g), Sunday, 20 July 2003 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were in Sainsbury's in Kidlington at around 11.30 this morning and you saw a tall, slightly dishevelled, blonde girl wearing faded blue jeans and a black BigDogs T-shirt bearing the legend "The Muttrix - Releashed" who was loading cases of Stella Artois into her supermarket trolley in a bit of a hurry because people were due to arrive at her house any moment to watch the British Grand Prix...that was me.

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were in Best Buy and saw a girl flirting with the security guards to get them to open her new cd player for her (apparently this is against the rules), it was not me. NOPE.

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 20 July 2003 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Why did you need to open it?

― Mary (Mary), Monday, 21 July 2003 02:58 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw a 6'3" guy with floppy hair eat a chili-cheese polish sausage at Pink's on the corner of La Brea and Melrose for three nights in a row (Wed, Thurs, & Fri) at 1am... that was me.

MR. TALL, DARK, AND HANDSOME, AS I LIVE AND BREATHE!!

(*giggles incessantly*)

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 21 July 2003 03:30 (twenty-two years ago)

If by any chance you are the wild-eyed chap currently staring through my window please fuck right off, and how did you get in that tree?

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 21 July 2003 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

eat a chili-cheese polish sausage at Pink's on the corner of La Brea and Melrose for three nights in a row (Wed, Thurs, & Fri) at 1am.

Must. go to. LA. now.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 21 July 2003 05:54 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw the girl drinking pints of bitter and sunning herself by the canal in Islington on Sunday afternoon, that was me!

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 07:35 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw a girl put a pair of giant underpants on her friends head then spray her with glitter spray in one of those cheap stores... that was me

― Nellie (nellskies), Monday, 21 July 2003 07:44 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw a guy with silly hair in flip-flops, paint-stained shorts and a big shirt sitting outside a pub talking about Flashman drinking a pint of lager yesterday evening...that was like some kind of over-the-top Spitting Image parody of me.

― Sam (chirombo), Monday, 21 July 2003 07:45 (twenty-two years ago)

If you looked across the Betsey Trotwood on Saturday night and wondered what kind of bald buffoon would visually demonstrate to people the meaning of "camel toe", that was N. me.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were in Webster Massachusetts Saturday afternoon and saw an overweight, heavily tatooed, sweating with no shirt on dude playing wiffleball and drinking beer...that was me.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw a guy wandering around Navan Shopping Centre with his mother on Saturday, that was me, or possibly hundreds of other guys. Also, get out of Navan.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Why did you need to open it?

Because my old one was broken and I couldn't bear to walk down the street for any length of time without listening to Lou Reed!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were in a greasy spoon in Crouch End, London and saw a small girl wearing a full skirt (in fact the only person in the place wearing a skirt), a black boob tube and silver sandals flicking sadly through the jobs section of Media Guardian and drinking tea ... that was me.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I borrow your media guardian, Anna?

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were on the Tufnell Park Road and saw a short brown-haired girl, barefoot, in jeans with a vertical rip from the ankle right up to the knee and held together with safety pins, wandering along with a box of eggs in one hand and five lemons in the other... that was me.

― cis (cis), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

if you will be on tufnell park road tomorrow evening around 730pm and see someone walking down the street that will be me!

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were on the met line this morning between Kings Cross and Uxbridge and you saw a chunky bloke asleep with his walkman on, looking dead rough, that would have been me.

― chris (chris), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw a tall skinny bespectacled mofo sitting cross-legged on top of a Chevy Van rolling at 25 miles per hour down Maple St. in Nicholasville, KY at 4:30 am singing "I AM THE CHAMPIONS!" with arm's raised in rollercoaster woo-hoo fashion...that was me. And thanks for not calling the cops.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

damn it Nick i thought that was Teenwolf!

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were walking past my work 15 minutes ago and looked through the patio doors and saw a brown-haired girl in a blue t shirt with her head on her arms which were in turn on her desk... that was me and I was miserable.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Teen Wolf wasn't trashed on jaeger and Maker's though.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Archel, get back to work you slacker.

― Your boss (Mark C), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

but Styles made him buy a keg.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

It's still on sale Mark! But if you can't get to a newsagent I can post it to you, there was bugger all in there from my point of view.

(Although: TOM E - POPWORLD WANT AN EDITOR> FULLFILL YOUR CALLING!)

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Shut up Mark I am unappreciated as it is.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 21 July 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

On July 21st around 3pm in Loa Angeles, if you saw a girl with a perky hair-do and a Hawaiian shirt driving a crappy BMW with fierce determination and singlemindedness towards the 101 South, that was me.

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were talking to a skinny Chinese guy who's unbeknownst to you obsessively reading ilx instead of working and insolently resenting you for calling him "buddy" because he wants as little to do with a senile old man, then you're my boss.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 06:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Showing my bits to the queen & shouting 'wahey'. Obv i borrowed some bits!!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

if you come to public life in spitalfields on sunday 3rd august and see a band called the mean streaks and see a guy with dark hair, brown eyes and crooked teeth 'singing' and playing guitar that will be me. i might be wearing a suit. i haven't decided yet.

― cameron, Wednesday, 23 July 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were on John Islip Street around 1pm and saw a sickly looking gurl with a green face trying not to vomit on the street, that was me! I am UNWELL.

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

(Although: TOM E - POPWORLD WANT AN EDITOR> FULLFILL YOUR CALLING!)

This is an excellent idea.

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes'm. Then he hires all of us to write for it (I will have a semi-regular feature called 'The Friendly Curmudgeon.')

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Awww - get well soon Sarah.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

There's nothing friendly about your recent curmudgeonness, Raggett.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

It's an aspirational title.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw a girl whose shoe got caught in a goddamned subway grate and nearly wiped out this morning if not for friendly hotel doormen saving her, that was me. Stop fucking laughing at me, teenager fuck.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw some dumblooking guy at Auckland university walking determinedly towards the computer labs in a a big black 'donkey' jacket mouthing the words to 'Got Your Money' w/out a walkman on, it was my Dad

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

If you saw a guy trying to drive a Chevy truck through pouring heavy rain get out and kick the shit out of his truck cuz the windshield wipers had stopped working for no reason whatsoever...

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

If tis after 9 PM, and you're a short dark chick walking down a Florida highway, wearing headphones with a backpack on her back and singing at the top of her voice, that IS me.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 24 July 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Do Popworld still want an editor Anna?

I should look at these threads more often.

(NB I am not a very good editor)

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 24 July 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

If at 4:30 am on May 17th 1999 you were riding a bicycle down Virginia Ave. in Lexington, KY and you pointed and laughed (possibly cuz you were drunk) at an Oldsmobile running a red light...that was me, taking my son's momma to the hospital, so she could deliver our bwoy.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 July 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

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